online diary

Life/Friends & stuff

2011-01-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

Lately, I don't know whether it is because I have too much free time on my hand, been thinking a lot..

It is really strange how some people we managed to befriend. People who might not like us at first, and we may not like, but overtime they start to grow on us and we got used to their eccentrics and somehow they become part of us. Some people who you never know whether they have ever treated you as friend and whether you are disposable to them.. Some friends who you know will never learn to trust you, and at times you will wonder if such a person is considered a friend.

I could not tolerate a friend who doesn't trust me, someone who suspects my loyalty. I could not tolerate someone who is suspicious of my intention when I show my concern. I could not tolerate a friend who have too much pride and is thus afraid of any frank opinion. I don't think friendship can be built on lies.

If I were to lost any friend on the above characteristics frankly i would be a little sad, but I will live with it.. Because maybe we weren't friends to begin with.

Frankly I am very grateful for friends who were always there for me. Friends whom I fight with but still together. Friends who might hate my character and guts at times, but still accepting, because they know it is never my intention to hurt anybody. Friends who never second guess me...What would I do without such people in my life?? I think I would die...

Miscommunication

2011-01-08T02:21:00.002+08:00

As I started working I realised a lot of miscommunication comes when 说者无心，听者有意。Maybe sometimes it is the other way... I realised there are some people that are very afraid of misunderstanding or gossip that will arise from this miscommunication and there are people who do not care. I am a person who do not care. Not that I like gossiping, when we listen to info about some ppl, naturally if it is interesting or funny you would want to joke about it. Frankly is that gossiping? When you mean no harm, but the listener take it to heart, whose fault would it actually be.

Personally I am a person who does not care about such misunderstanding and gossip, even if it occurs on me. If you have a certain opinion about me that you don't like. I don't care I am not here to please you. And likewise when I listen to stuff that is happening to people's life as long as it does not concern me, I would not have any feelings or even thoughts about it. Frankly I don't care, I can't be bothered with their life.

There are however a lot of sensitive people out there. Even sensitive friends. But I am offended when a friend is afraid that I would spread inaccurate information about people(in other words gossip) when I am teasing that friend. Frankly it never ever occured to me to gossip about that person. It is offending that a friend has doubts about my character, maybe he/she was just worried about gossip that might spread, but we nv had that intention.

I could understand that person's opinion, but I can't help feeling offended. But all is cool.. I am writing this to explain my feeling. I would like to disclaim that there is no hard feelings and I am just stating this opinion. I would forget this feeling once I post this entry, I promise. But just expressing my thought.

Memories

2011-01-07T00:00:00.002+08:00

Was reading through my previous blog entries. Like from when I was 19 till now.. hahaha.. Feel a bit embarass by my previous blog entries. Hahahahahaha

Used to want to remember every small detail of my life. Actually anything that needs to be written down to be remembered is not that worth remembering. Because strong memories will always be remembered in your brain and those that are not worth remembering will not be remembered even after you write them down. And feelings will always be remembered regardless of whether you write them down or not...

As we grow older we get more used to the fact that certain things are part and parcel of life and we start accepting things that we would nv compromise to when we were younger. At almost quarter life. I would like to say I have grown up. Some positive feelings I would never forget even if I do not write them down. And I hope I would still be optimistic after 10 years from this entry. Hee...

Hate the stressed me

2010-12-09T23:33:00.002+08:00

I hate the stressedd me.. I would become v impatient, v short tempered and not very nice.. Hahaha.. I have seen that happening to some of my friends and somehow I am beginning to be like that...

Sometimes I wish I have some time alone... Like now exams are soon and v stressed from work, no time to study. At home when I want to study, my mum jus won't leave me alone.. Maybe cos she haven't seen me in a wk cos I always work late, but then I need to study!!!! Urgh! Really irritating!!

I realised sometimes it is communication... Like some ppl are just harder to communicate with. In my case, I always feel that family is really hard to communicate with. It is like you would expect them to understand you the most, but they are not. And it is hard explaining to them how you feel, because of their own selfishness, expectation, they do not want to understand it.. It is really hard to explain..

Sometimes it is really hard.. Hard to handle all this stress. Sometimes I hate myself more than anyone else. Sometimes I wish I can be alone. Hai..

2010-11-19T00:24:00.002+08:00

I hate the real world. It is really realistic. No excuses just performance. What are you going to do if you r not able to perform due to the enormous workload. Excuses they just sound like excuses to ppl. When trying your best is not good enough, I don't know what is good enough. And I am sick and demorialize to try so hard, but what can I do, this is life. If staying till 3am is not trying hard enough I don't know what is... If this job is making me so unhappy I should just leave, but I wo bu fu!!! Y is it my fault. Y am I always compromising with all the problems and workload faced? The world will not turn for me for sure, but y must I turn along with it. I really should leave this co.. No point in fighting for things that will not change.

Totallly broke down at work today

2010-08-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

Really can't take it.. the emotional stress and physical stress.. Honestly working late or ironically early 1am is really very physically draining. And when u feel that your all your hardwork is useless and never good enough and you really have lots of stuff that must meet timeline soon is really stressful. It is like I could nv ever complete anything, always mountain of work, but the things is during timeline period it is so much worse, it is like do or die, you can't leave it.

I really just cried when i was so tired but have a feeling that i can't rest until i finish all this. Really v pek chek. Like no matter how hard you try u jus can't finish it. Period came so felt even more tired. Really feel like dying.. When i cried, I told e accountant i really can't take it i really feel v tired, kind of implied tat i want to go home. bt she told me to rest 15min and continue doing. Later server was down, but still die die must do. So no choice i went to e sick bay to sleep for awhile. Pathetic now the sick bay is my room.

Later to finish it had to stay till 3.30am.. honestly i want my life back. I don't mind working hard, but not till you expect me to sell my life. It is like i m so tired le.. but can't go back home to rest. it is like.. I don't know.. feel like i m in prison...

Today i couldn't wake up.. so went to work at 10.30am.. i know v bad attitude after all haven't even pass e 3 months.. but i honestly couldn't care.. If they dare, fire me. honestly felt like faking mc or take leave, but no choice have to complete stuff.. ahhhh.. honestly don't know wat to do.. feel a bit sian to find new job.. ahh.. and my plan to quit after a yr and go travelling will be ruined.. I really need a holi. even after this job i really feel like going overseas after i resign...

Unhappy

2010-08-17T00:14:00.002+08:00

Yest had great fun w elin, yik, xiwen and hq...

Today feel like i have gone to hell. Couldn't take it in e morning. Had a breakdown. It was not only Monday blues.. It was also family and stuff.. Really make me feel like escaping. Honestly feel v depressed. I really want to leave.. I really want to escape. but i honestly don't know where i could escape too...

This morning, he was v enthusiastic in wanting to drive me to work. I have this feeling about it since last wk when he say he want to drive me to work. It was awkward to reject his offer cos we left house about the same time, but i felt that he was up to no good. I don't know y instinct about someone is rarely wrong, when something is amiss it could be sensed almost immediately. So on his car I fake sleeping, to avoid having any conversation w him.

This morning when i was in e toilet he told me he want to drive me to work, as it was really early, i told him to leave first, i sensed sth wrong too.. Later he waited for me when i was making up he told me that he will drive me to work, before that go to e bank and withdraw 1k for him. I was totally pissed, but i told him all my cash is with mum. He didn't believe, but i jus kept insisting i don't have any money. Then he lied he said grandpa passed away need money to pay some stuff. Hello like i m an idiot. I know how much money they have in e trustfund for grandpa.. It is honestly enough to hold 10funerals. Wat a bastard. Could even try to cheat his daughter's money using his father's name to cheat her.

Been overhearing his conversation w his fren, i know what he is up to. Honestly i wish my mum would jus kick him out of this house at times. Sounds v unfillial, but i honestly don't know how to be fillial to such a person.

Honestly started crying after that, was quite affected.. Don't want to go to work, but don't know where to go either.. In e end went to work but couldn't concentrate, couldn't care either... Honestly don't know y he could still hurt me this way. Every time u think u wouldn't be affected by it anymore, everytime u think it could no longer hurt and u would not cry for it again, that emotion take u by surprise, uncontrollable, jus pain, and tears will jus flow uncontrollably. Hate that kind of feeling. hate that i m so old and yet i can't control this feeling. Hate that he could still hurt me this way. Hate that i m still affected by all this. I want to grow numb to all this. I want to be strong...

Some relatives have been bullying my mother at e funeral that day.. actually feel v hurt when seeing them bullying my mum, but da ren de shi can't do anything, standing up for her will cause her more trouble in e end. Could only keep telling her to leave them let them gossip don't care. Hate that my mother contributed to much to this family and all she could get is constant shit from them. Is this really her fate? Y must she deal with all e shit and face she gets from these stupid relatives. I hate my family, my extended family, they r a piece of shit. But u know wat family is not ppl u can choose, u honestly don't have a choice.. Hate these wu nai of life, hate that fate is being too unfair to my mum...

Really didn't know if i should tell my mum. Hate hurting her with this news... But it is e right thing to do rite?

Honestly i want to escape, i want to leave this place. I don't want to face reality and i really don't know how to face reality at times. Now no matter how much i hate my job i must stay in it.. Don't want to make my mum worry more for me. Urgh.

Actually all this r not problem if you try not to c them as a problem.. Shall brainwash myself again, or try to... maybe if we try to ignore the problem long enough, the problem will automatically disappear or solve itself(so totally in denial), maybe some problems can never be solved, cos a person is nv brave enough to deal w it. sometimes i can't understand my mum.. she is brave at times, but when it is time to make e decision she is nv brave enough, will say but can't do.. maybe she is like me in denial, she jus hope that if she ignore it e problem will disappear, but it nv will. and decisions like this u could nv help her to make. At times this indecisiveness is causing a lot of pain to us and her instead. Always say tat she is trying to find a better time to prepare ourselves for this, in case things get ugly, but things r not exactly rosy now either.. I am v afraid oso that if things remain like tat it would get worse. Honestly it is not nice to leave in fear daily, not knowing when e timebomb will explode. Or everytime when u think things r ok some shit happen again.

Honestly quite envious of ppl w/o family problem.. Ppl with happy family.. But it is when u r with ppl like that, that ur thinking will not grow too twisted, that will make you believe that there can be happiness in this world. But family happiness is not something everyone could wish for, like i said you could choose anyone in this world, but you could nv choose family. Spouse can divorce, boyfriend could break up, friend can unfriend, but family you could nv truly disown. Which is e reason y ppl w happy family r v fortunate and those w/o could only hope and would nv truly experience. Which is oso y someone in a happy family could nv completely understand the emotional pain of a broken family... If you have happy family, please treasure it.. I could only treasure my mother and sister

At least i have friends. I guess they r e only ppl who keeps me sane and grounded now. At least they can give me consolation when i m sad and advice too.. Talking crap to them help me to escape too.. I really feel like going on a holiday.. I need a holiday.... I need to sleep... Working till 11pm is not helping at all. Urgh!

Was in a super depressive mood last wk

2010-04-26T17:04:00.002+08:00

Well, like i mentioned in my previous post, was super depressed last wk. I think it was also due to not having enough sleep. Hahahah... A sleepy man is a grumpy man, i guess.

Anyway I touched down on tue went to work on wed, had class at night on wed. So just went, exams are coming. Anyway, thu night we had a farewell party for shipping assiss.. Went to clark quey to have this thai steamboat thing. It was super good!!! The meat and soup was really really nice and the chicken wings were great too.

after that we went to a pub. later at nite had a little argument with my sis. It was about the trip thing, cancellation and stuff. I think we r both v frustrated with all the amendments and cancellation we have to make. Honestly, I am still v frustrated now by it. I jus wonder if i have jus gone to amsterdam would there be lesser hassle. Got a little frustrated and started crying... hahahha.. gosh scared the shipping assiss to death. ahahhahahha.. Cos i was angry a moment ago and i was crying the next moment. hahahha.. after that went back to sing songs and was really happy singing and laughing. hahahhaha.. The shipping assis was like one moment 4 expression. xi nu ai le.

Friday we went back to work. After the late night pub, i was honestly very tired on friday. On friday i checked the flight to amsterdam left and arrived in amsterdam. gosh if i only i have waited till friday i would be in amsterdam now!!! And i wouldn't have to cancel the prague thing which was super troublesome and i would have had a few more days of fun in HK. Gosh!!!! I really regretted coming back at the moment and started crying, ok la oso shipping assiss last day, and just thinking about not having her till don't know when was quite sad, i don't really want to work with this ppl anymore and gosh.. started crying again. Shipping assis panicked again. ahahhahaha... She consoled me.

Later the last time i cried for the day was cos i called cathay regarding the cancellation. I was honestly quite angry, cos in hk they promised me that i would get a full refund when i get back, but when i was back they said they could only give me a partial refund, i was quite angry, cos i felt quite cheated. To get me back to clear their backlog, they would really promised me anything, and now that i m back, they refused to keep to their side of the bargain. I honestly got a little upset. The lady was really very rude to me. It is honestly not about the money, it is more of the how could your lie to someone like that and still be rude to the person. Hello, I suffered from a lot of distress over the flight cancellation and i had to cancel a lot of stuff tooo... I am really sick of the service that they give me and at this point i should have just gone amsterdam and not be back here. I hate being back here having to deal with all this crap also.

Was talking to e rude lady until i started crying cos she was yelling at me. What the hell. You yell at a customer, when i yelled back she got a little scared and tone down. Felt a bit wei qu. so i went to borrow a pen from the warehouse guy to write something, then when i sat beside him i suddenly started crying. hahahhah.. the technical engineer came in to look for him when he saw me crying he left the warehouse at the speed of lightening. ahhahhahaha.. When e warehouse guy saw me crying he got a little scared, then he asked me wat happened v fiercely, which trigger me off again, i started crying harder. hahahahha.. i think he almost die of a heart attack somemore i was blocking him, he cannot leave his seat with me sitting there. ahhaha

Later shipping assiss was on her way to shit, then she jus wanted to tell warehouse guy something, then she saw me crying v loudly in the chair beside him, she asked me who bullied me. hahahhaha.. so she and e warehouse guy were consoling me. Hahahha. I was laughing and crying at the same time. The warehouse guy was like he saw many girls cried but he nv seen someone laugh and cry at the same time. And he got heart problem, i almost gave him a heart attack. Hahahha.. Later we decided to scared the technical engineer. The plan was i go to tech room and talk to e engineer with my still tearful face, then they would go and ask him wat happened, y he make me cry.. ahhahahah.. so i went to tech rm and pretended to borrow tissue from e engineer, then warehouse guy and shipping assis entered and asked him wat happened, then i played along say the engineer bully me. ahhahhahhahah.. the engineer totally swing both hands in the i didn't do anything manner. ahhahah..

Later the sales executive asked shipping assis and warehouse guy how come they are still so alert after we having a late nite last nite. hahahhah.. they were like got scared awake by me. ahhahahhaha... I honestly didn't want to cry. It is like my head was telling me to stop but i couldn't help feeling a bit sad and sorry for myself so i couldn't stop. Gosh.. I hope i will be better this wk. I honestly need to get out of this place. This country! I need a holiday!!!! Anyone want to go on a shopping trip??? to HK?? hahahhaha.. I totally don't mind going there again.

Eventful first solo flight

2010-04-26T11:57:00.003+08:00

Last thur i travelled alone, first time i went overseas alone. Was quite excited at first. It was quite fun to be alone. Gosh, the ground crew of cathay pacific wrote the wrong timing on my boarding pass. So i didn't know what time i have to check in. In the end I boarded a little late, cos i didn't know wat time to board. I tot 30min before flight time is enough and also the ground crew wrote the wrong gate number!!! Gosh. When i was at the boarding gate the ground crew stopped me. Apparently the ground crew at the check in counter checked my luggage into the wrong flight!!!!! The counter checked my baggage into an earlier flight to HK, when my baggage was supposed to be checked in to the amsterdam flight directly.

When i was boarding the plane, this big ang mo guy ran ahead of me to get onto the plane. At first I was like this ang mo v kiasu. More Kiasu than singaporean, must get on faster than me. After I boarded the plane i know y he wanted to be ahead of me. Apparantly, i was the last passenger on board the flight, they were waiting for me to take off. When he got on he apologized to everyone. I honestly didn't know what i should do so i just went to my seat. My seat was quite good i got a window seat and the two seats beside me were empty. I was actually quite happy and the in flight entertainment was not bad.

When we reached HK, the ground crew paged for me over the intercom the lines were something along, the lost and found counter is looking for you. Gosh, and some other passengers on board the flight started mimicking my name. Gosh.. wat so funny about my name!!! when i reached, a cathay ground crew was waiting for me. She explained to me what happened to my luggage. Well so she explained to me i have to go lost and found collect my luggage, go into HK and check in the luggage again. So she brought me to the lost and found counter then we checked the luggage through and stuff. The immigration office ask where i was from i told him singapore, then he asked me wat i was in hongkong for, i told him i don't really want to be in hk i want to go amsterdam. He laughed and let me enter. Funny immigration officer.

After i was about to check in for the amsterdam flight they said that the flight is cancelled and i have to go get my hotel accomodation. Gosh. I checked in my luggage into the amsterdam flight already. Gosh i shouldn't have checked in, but at that point i tot it was only for a day so i tot it was ok to be without luggage. I met a PRC on the queue to get hotel accomodation. He was quite nice and chatty... His flight to London was cancelled. Only at that point of time did i know it was a volcano eruption. I tot it was a strike at first.

Later, while waiting for the airport transfer to the hotel, the PRC asked me if i would like to share cab with him, since they say can claim. Since he was paying and claiming so I went along with him. Hahahha.. He was quite an ok guy, quite independent. His sirname is LEI thunder LEI, i nv heard of such a name. I didn't mean to laugh at his sir name, but my reaction when he asked me if i know anyone with sirname LEI i said other than LEI GONG i don't know whose sirname is LEI, come to think of it LEI Gong's sirname is not LEI ba... hahahha..

The next day the plane did not fly, due to the volcanic eruptions. Gosh, at this point i really wanted to cry, cos i don't have my luggage, and my hp battery charger is in e luggage and i don't have clothes, nor cosmetics. Urgh!!!! After all the trouble i had lunch with the PRC and after that i decided to shop for some toiletries alone. Gosh, but then again I have never been to HK and the guidebooks from the hotel sux. I totally don't know where to go!! All i felt, was confused and lost. and with my phone running low on batt, i don't want to call anybody to ask, in case someone urgently call me.

I was really lucky, at this point of depression, this dutch lady, she is actually a chinese, can only speak canto, dutch and eng. Well anyway, i asked her where she is going and she was actually in the same situation as me. So she brought me to Mongkok to do some shopping. Hahahha.. she treated me to fries and lemon tea, but i treated her back with coffee. Quite happy. Actually i was quite pai sai to buy lots of clothes with her around, but i like that at least i managed to go somewhere. The lady was 28 years old, and working for G-Star, damn cool. At night i want to Avenue of stars alone!! The view and weather was great!!!! cooling, but it was a bit foggy though so didn't manage the see the light show that clearly, but still the scenary was breathtaking enough!

The next day i met a dutch old lady, she is 60 years old, she got a kidney transplant and needed some medicine or else her body would start rejecting her kidney. She tot her medicine would last her till she go back to holland, so she didn't bring enough. Anyway, I volunteered to accompany her to the hospital to get her medicine, cos i can speak mandarin and i understand canto. So I went on HK hospital tour. Hahahhaha.. We went to a govt hospital, but they say they don't have the medicine unless she is hospitalised, so they gave us some address of a private hospital, so we went to the private hospital instead. After much hassle, managed to get the medicine. She met me for dinner that night. so one whole day was gone.

The next day the dutch auntie brought me out for lunch. Actually breakfast, lunch & dinner is sponsored by cathay, so i could have jus had lunch in the hotel. Anyway, we had dim sum. I honestly didn't know how to order, i order some stuff it was quite delicious. That noon, I went to the peak myself. The peak was beautiful!!!! And the weather there was great! hahahhaha.. Foggy again, but luckily it didn't rain. to get to the peak went to central to take bus, central on sunday is like maid paradise, so many of them and they were all talking v loudly.

The next day the dutch auntie asked me if i want to go out with her. Actually i wanted to go shopping alone. She told me her relative from HK will take her to HK island and asked if i wanted to go. So well... I nv been to HK island and it would be great if someone who knows hk brought me around so I said ok. They were really nice!!! They were like 70year old and they bought me an octopus card and a idd card to call back home. ahhahahhahaha.. they brought me to stanley. Hahahha.. the sea at stanley was nice, a little like east coast park though. They brought me on board JUMBO to have lunch! Gosh.. The food was ok, quite delicious for some, but wow i nv had food on a boat.. ahhahahah..

Last day, the ground crew confirmed i can go back to singapore and get a full refund for my tickets which was good news for me. My mum told me to come back instead of waiting to go amsterdam. she thinks it is not safe there now. If i get there, i might not be able to come back and stuff.. So well I had to be back to the hotel by 3pm. I went to mongkok to do some shopping. Very strange the flower street that the lady brought me to, i can't find it at all, i only went to mongkok centre. Urgh.. Not enough shopping!! I like HK a lot really want to go back to shop again. The shopping is really good!

When i was at the airport, the ground crew were quite rude. Cos again my baggage was at the lost and found. Then the lady was scolding me she said my flight cancelled i should take my luggage along. Gosh, i didn't expect it would be cancelled. Anyway went to lost and found again. I bet they were like you again. ahhhh.... then had to go lost and found take my luggage and check in luggage again. wa lao.. super irritating!

Actually i really enjoyed HK, but i would have enjoyed it better, if there wasn't anything to worry about at the back of my mind. I was constantly worried about what will happen the next day, whether i could go back to singapore or whether i can go to amsterdam, and i had to cancel a lot of stuff in Europe.

Urgh.. Actually now being in Singapore is making me feel super depressed. It was really strange the moment i decided and had a flight back to singapore the europe airport were all opened. I think i must be a curse to Europe. The moment I reached the airport all europe airport was closed, then the moment i said that i m goin back to singapore all of it was open. ahhahahha.. Ahhhh...

If i didn't choose to come back to singapore i would be in amsterdam now. Gosh, I hate being in Singapore now!! It is honestly giving me a bit of depression, like i totally cried without any reason. I hate not having a fully "rested" vacation, i hate having to deal with the cancellation of the stuff, I hate being here, being with this ppl, i hate that the shipping assis is no longer in e office to play with me. I hate facing reality. Gosh.. I hate life now!!!

Actually at some point of the trip i was really afraid of all the uncertainty and started to cry, I honestly feel like such a failure. Like I am growing older each year, but i have not grow guts and courage and i have not become more independent. I really wanted to be independent so that I know i will be single in the future, so that i will not have to rely on anybody in the future, but honestly no matter how long, i don't think i will ever learn to be independent. When you are young and you cry ppl will come console you, help you and ask you wat the matter is. But when u r old, who will come forward to help you, they will start laughing at you. Urgh!!! When will i ever grow uP??? I don't want to always depend on someone and i know i won't always have someone to depend on. That's y i must learn independence!!! Gosh.. Actually at some point i felt rather lonely too, and i told myself i must get used to this feeling, cos it might be something i will feel more often in the future. Gosh jus thinking about this is depressing enough. I wish i could run away from all this forever. I don't have anywhere to run to now. I want to escape!!! Find me a hiding place please!!! I hate being this emotional. I want to snap out of this soon. Snap out snap out!

Irritated at work

2010-04-06T21:21:00.002+08:00

Honestly rather busy lately. Have yr end closing, and since i m leaving next thur, i have to complete reports, purchase computer, reformat computer, set-up computer, go to the bank, key invoices, issue cheques and so many stuff.

Was a bit irritated with this service engineer. Honestly he is a repair engineer, who in my opinion doesn't need a good computer, cos all he need to do it prepare quotation for customer. Anyway, due to his slow computer, my boss was quite nice to purchase a new one for him, of course it was under budget constrain, and well, personally i think the cpu for workwise is ok, 2gb ram, e7500 processor, for workwise it should be ok. But this guy keep complaining that he wants a bigger ram and additional monitor.

Honestly for ppl who know computer would know that ram is for opening applications concurrently at a faster pace. Basically the speed at which programme run when you open many application. Honestly, he need to jus prepare quotation so how many programme does he needs to be running concurrently. At most 3. I know the reason y he is complaining, he wants a better work computer so he can open more window and play more games on facebook.

He told me he needs an additional monitor, cos when he compare prices he needs to open 3 application to see. So i asked him is he able to print the price list out and compare, he was like can but waste paper. So he wants to buy a device to use 2 monitor concurrently. Honestly, when i have to input data from p&l to the business plan, i oso jus print it out to input, or else with the whole yr figure and no of figure i would die comparing. And how expensive is paper, and we do recycle paper.

Honestly, he think his father own the company ah?! Super irritated!!!! Honestly don't make me get so mad that i get the colleague at japan to block the facebook site. Then he wouldn't have any games to play, maybe then he can concentrate on his job, repairing scope. A repair engineer who doesn't need to do much paperwork, is telling me he needs a good computer to do paperwork, it is honestly ridiculous. Last resort, i can always ask him to pass all his paperwork to me, i am sure i will be able to do them quickly and accurately, and i wouldn't even need such a good computer.

I really don't want to complain, and totally want to forget these negative stuff, but it totally got on my nerves today... I don't understand y some people are like that, it is true that we should not let ppl take advantage of us, but we also shouldn't take advantage of people, or in this case the company. A person who doesn't complete his work on time, stay and OT, wants the best from the company. You have not contributed even ur minimal requirement to the company and yet you expect the company to treat you well/best. I really hope i don't not become like that. I still want to be hardworking no matter how a company treats me. I still hope to be responsible to the job i do regardless of wat the company gives me. I hope i wouldn't change, cos i seriously hate lazy ppl. But actually it is good to c ppl like that, cos it was constantly remind me never to be like them, i really hope i would nv become like that! I hope this society does not disintegrate my integrity.

can't fight the moonlight.

2010-03-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

Lately i have been having trouble sleeping. At first i tot it was the street lamp! Then i realised the moon is shinning directly onto my face. Gosh.. quite strange and yet funny.

Jus wonder whether i will get tanner due to the moonlight tan.. Hahahhah.. being lame. Jus tot it was quite interesting.

Don't go! Don't leave!!!

2010-03-23T21:30:00.002+08:00

Gosh after my good fren ah di left, now shipping assis is leaving too. I honestly will miss them. Actually really feel like crying jus thinking that shipping assis will be leaving soon. I honestly can't pretend and act and go lunch with the rest of the OLs!!!

All my laughter and crap will be gone without her. Gosh will be super unlifely after she leaves.. Won't be able to see her after i get back from Europe. I honestly need to leave this place soon too.. Have a feeling they will gang up to bully me after she leave. Honestly work wise they can't really bully me, cos they are really at my mercy on certain issues, but well.. Ahhhh.. Work won't be fun anymore!! No more entertainment. I can't possibly laugh by myself..

But I really feel happy for her the job sounds not bad, better than here i guess. I really wish her the best. And i will really miss her!!!

No motivation to work/study/live

2010-03-18T00:05:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I think i m pmsing.. but i really don't feel motivated to do any of the above. Remind me wat are we supposed to be working for again?! I wish i am able to find a job where i am passionate at. But i honestly don't know where my passion lies. Urgh!!! Remind me wat i am living for again?

Feeling super depressive. Honestly this feeling haven't come since JC. Urgh!!!!!!!

Actually when i went to taiwan last year it taught me to let go of certain things. But the downside of the trip was that I let go of too much. hahahha.. That I forgot to hang on to my motivation. Now that i let go of everything there is seriously not a single motivating factor for me to move on. Urgh!!!

Anyway today i realised i lose my motivation to work, cos when my boss reprimanded me i was jus stoning.. Totally didn't react, couldn't react. I really don't know what is wrong with me!!! ok the whole story is we were late from lunch. So he came and threatened me!!! He said i was performing very well at work, but issues such as this will affect his increment to me. Hahahhaha.. When he said that i jus laughed. I swear i didn't mean to.. But I jus felt ticklish.. ahhahhaha.. Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh. I know i was in the wrong, so i didn't bother rebutting. But usually i would have a bit of shame, as in normal circumstances after getting scolded i should feel pai sai, but i didn't felt anything, i didn't even feel angry! Gosh something is very wrong with me. If it was me in the past i would feel worried, now i honestly can't be bothered. Even if he slap me i think i will jus give him e same reaction. Gosh that's y i said i lost all my motivation. He should know that slacking occationally have never affected my work performance, but well.. I know I am wrong!

what i am trying to say is what he say is not going to make me perform better or worse, increment doesn't affect my performance at all. As in I am seriously not a lazy worker, i wouldn't dare admit that i am not a slacker, but i have always did my best at work regardless of pay, increment, thank you or no thank you, to me it is just work, since i am paid, as a respect to my job i will work hard, complete what i am supposed to do at my very best. That has always been what i believe, so to threaten me is seriously funny to me. Jus because he give me lesser it doesn't mean that i wouldn't perform. Ok but this doesn't means i am motivated to do well, i jus do it because it is my job, it doesn't matter whether i llike doing it or not, i jus do it well. I am just a robot. Feeling super robotic! Please give me my human traits back!!!

Anyway to sidetrack. Khalil Fong is having a concert in Malaysia!!! Really want to go! hahahha.. Must go back to the root to solve the problem(note: e reason y i went to taiwan is for his concert hahahha.. rubbish!!! i am crapping, totally trying to frame(blame) someone else for my uselessness) root of all evil is actually me, i just want an excuse to go. Hope sl can go too... Then i can go. If she doesn't go i won't go, can't go alone, don't want to go alone, without her there won't be fun..

Trip to europe

2010-02-26T16:51:00.003+08:00

Urgh!! My independent trip to Europe is all ruined!!! My Mum is coming along. Honestly feel a bit irritated and yet a bit relieved. Relieved that at least i will have a companion throughout the journey, irritated that all my plans and imaginings are ruined.. Hahahah.. I wanted to be independent for once!!! Honestly feel a bit stressed goin overseas with her. Actually lately with jus she and me in the house i feel a bit being driven up the wall, i really feel a bit irritated, but no choice... Jus when i tot i could "escape" her for 2 wks.. ahhahahhaha..

Not that i don't love my mum.. I do. But with her constant nagging, sometimes i really feel that i need my space. Especially lately, i jus want to be alone, i got no idea y.. Jus feel that to always console her on her insecurities is making me feel a bit tired. Having to take care of her emotions is a bit overwhelming at times.. Later she gets inferior i have to console her..Travelling with her will make me feel a bit tired, cos i have to constantly look out for her and entertain her i guess. Y m i always the one being stuck to her? hahahha..

But ok la.. with her around can go to more places and also someone to take care of me. Somemoer she old already, my time left with her not a lot also. Sometimes i wish i have more siblings. then my burdan would be lighten. I honestly do not not love her.. It is just i need a break. Honestly is it normal to feel this way? M I being unfillial? I hope not.. Gosh.. I should drive this evil thoughts away! Ahhh.. I m such an unfillial daughter!

I am going to try to be independent.

2010-02-25T20:24:00.002+08:00

Gosh... I am so excited, yet very afraid.... Gosh...

I am travelling to europe to look for my sister!!! First time i am taking an aeroplane alone. Gosh feel a bit scared. And on the way back, since e flight is transiting at hk, i will go for a day tour in hk by myself alone. Ahhhhhhh... Very scary!!! Hahahhaha.. But I am 24 already, i want to be independent for once, and i want to do things to get adrenline rushing again! I feel very stagnent at the moment! Gosh.. Really very scared! I super have no sense of directions at all. i hope i don't get lost. I hope i wouldn't cry in the middle of the streets if i get lost. Super useless. Gosh so scary.. hahahah..

Will be gone for most of apr... going from 14 apr-3may.. Yea!!! Can't wait.

Anyway was damn funny cos i have to take 11 and a half days so was thinking wat excuse i would give to my boss if he asks... So the shipping assiss and i were brain storming.

first excuse tell him it is personal reason, then spell P.E.R.S.O.N.A.L to him.. ahhahhaha..

2nd excuse tell him i going for plasic surgery so need a longer break

3rd excuse going for a sex change operation

4th excuse going to look after my sister hahhahaha.. the shipping assistant was like if someone else used this excuse they would believe, but because it is me, a person who isn't even capable of taking care of herself. Shipping assiss was like he would definately think i go there to snatch her food to eat, cos i snatched his food.. hahahaha.. Shall share with you wat i did to my "adorable" boss later.

4th excuse was the best, but in e end he jus approved my leave blindly.. hahahahha.. Anyway at first i tot maybe i purposely submit a 5 day leave first then submit the rest later, so he wouldn't know i take 11 days consecutively, but it was useless. hahahhahah..

Ok now about me stealing his food. We had company dinner on tue night. Well, it was ala-carte buffet.. So order and e food will come. So my boss haven't food yet, but there was food in front of him. I was really hungry and the food looked like something i ordered. So i took it from him and told him it is mine because i ordered it. he looked at me with the don't know what to do with me face. hahahhaha.. I think he was a bit angry. He was sitting 2 seats away from me, basically the sales executive was sitting beside me and he was sitting beside the sales exec. Later throughout the night the sales manager was boring him with work, he looked at me, so the sales exec asked me to entertain him. So we were crap talking to him. When he took a sip of the souju, he told me this souju is made from potato.. Hahhaha.. Anyway it was quite fun.. We crap a lot..

2 funny incidents

2010-02-25T15:45:00.004+08:00

Actually not very funny, but ok shall just share wat happened.

There is this song called 小小蟲. Basically the lyrics to the song was rather romantic. It is about how a worm helped a guy to woo a girl. I don't really want to explain the lyrics to the song, because I don't really know how to explain stuff. So the lyrics is as follows:

我從小不會說話總會說些不該說的話也沒辦法我知道我是傻瓜我不是說情話的專家別怪我我搞不懂要不是這條小小的蟲嚇得讓你跳進了我的懷中可不可這樣跟你相擁我真的很沒用要感謝這小小蟲給我機會這是我初次嘗到戀愛滋味感覺好奇怪好像傷害了誰或許我太壞把小蟲摔下來去換你的愛小蟲也有牠用途牠用自己摔下來的痛苦換我幸福也許相愛是這樣有人快樂就有人受傷別緊張像我這樣那麼平凡一張大眾臉從來沒人願意多看我一眼可是在人來人往隻間卻有小蟲還我心願要感謝這小小蟲給我機會這是我初次嘗到戀愛滋味感覺好奇怪好像傷害了誰或許我太壞把小蟲摔下來去換你的愛謝謝你心意我會好好待你保護著你帶你看天地下次如果看見女孩子別再猶豫你趕快跑到她外衣讓我表現自己 la la la la要感謝這小小蟲給我機會這是我初次嘗到戀愛滋味感覺好奇怪好像傷害了誰或許我太壞把小蟲摔下來去換你的愛對不起對不起對不起對不起

Anyway this is not the point. The point a similar situation happened, but it was totally not romantic and ended a bit ghastly. A worm was on my male colleague's collar. Then I totally panicked. Was carrying my bulky wallet with me, so i attacked his collar with the bulky wallet. He got he a shock when he see me wanting to hit him with my bulky wallet, and he stopped me. I was shouting "worm", "worm" the worm was crawling toward his neck which looks a bit dangerous. He was like use ur hand la! So in the end, i used my finger to "tan"(the action where you hit someone ear?) the worm off his collar. In the end I "tan" the worm into his collar instead. When I stopped, he asked me where the worm now and i replied "it died on ur collar" hahahha.. In the end there was a huge stain on his collar. When he reached home and saw the stain, he told me he can imagine how brutally i killed the worm. Gosh!!! I swear I didn't mean to kill it, but it was too fragile!

With the same colleague, we went hawker centre to have lunch. Then when we finished eating the cleaning lady was asking him whether i m his gf. Honestly the aunty very kapo!!! The same thing happened to my sis in netherlands. She was with a guy fren then suddenly an ang mo told her that the guy is very good she should not let him go or sth. My conclusion is worldwide aunty and uncle all very kapo. Hahahha..

Bai Nian with our "ancestors"

2010-02-19T17:09:00.002+08:00

I went to the zoo on the fourth day of CNY as i was not working! Hee.. Went to bai nian with the orang utans. The baboons really remind me of us. They were helping each other pick lice from their hair, and well all i can say is that their actions really remind me of really people. hahaha.. I read once that the baboons mimick human being's movement the most. Maybe that's y among the many breed of monkey they are most like us.

Actually it is quite scary that the animals behave like humans. They are so trained that they know how to perform when they see people. Like the polar bear kept swimming in the same motion when he saw ppl observing him from the observsation area. The leopard and most of the other animal were also doing the same thing, "catwalk" literally because they keep walking to and fro. ahhahah..

It was really hot and there were a lot of people. Actually it was quite interesting to visit the zoo. I honestly haven't been there since i was in pri sch. hahaha.. the elephant show was also nice, i really like the elephants they are really intelligent and strong.

6 Personality traits to admire and acquire

2010-02-12T15:44:00.002+08:00

Found this article on yahoo. Gosh.. I really want to be a better person, but all this traits, seem a bit hard to "practice" Always striving to be a better person, but so far not succeeding much!! Hai.. Anyway just to share with all. I need to surround myself with saints. Honestly envious of ppl who could commit to the below.

Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special. While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.
Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals. All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. After all, these differences make the world go round. Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships.
Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial. Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be.
Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us. Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.
Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find. In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff…can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (balloon boy’s dad and any other reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today.
Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time. Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.

Up up and away

2010-01-26T23:55:00.002+08:00

Feel so unhappy now. Totally cried all my way back...

Today, ok just now. My dad drove me and my sis to the airport. We were supposed to c her off. She is going to netherlands for exchange programme for around half a yr. Anyway we were supposed to meet my mum at the airport.

When we reached the airport, my dad wanted to see her off so he went to park his car. Anyway, in short my mum refused to have dinner with him. So it was like, the both of them going their separate ways but to the same place, it was really awkward for me and my sis. Totally like we have to choose sides. Later when we sat at the same table, my mum was totally back facing us. And I corner eye my sis she was crying me, which totally make me want to cry. Honestly, it is just a fucking dinner, can't we just have it in peace, and my sis is already leaving, my mum totally don't have to do this and make this all unhappy for us. my mum was like driving him to go. wat is wrong with him wanting to send his daughter off.

Honestly, I really can't take it. I honestly don't know whose side to take, and i m sick of taking sides. Honestly, it sounds like something small to ppl reading this, but ur totally would nv understand how me and my sis feel. At times, I don't even know why I am crying, but the tears and sadness just come so naturally. To not have a complete family is painful, no matter how many times you tell urself to come to terms to it, sometimes it is totally not possible. I am really very tired, home is not home anymore for a long long time...

Everytime when i feel slightly happier, things like this must happen. Y must i accept fate, y must i be subjected to this unhappiness. I still have to deal with cny alone w/o my sis this yr. I wish i could hide somewhere. I wish i could just disappear. I hate my birthday. I wish i was nv born! Honestly, no cause for celebration at all, everytime nearing my birthday something unhappy must happen. Gosh..

Don't worry I am fine, I will be fine. On a happier note, since my sis is not around, she left her bear to accompany me! My fav bear! Well at least i m not that alone. Anyway i m planning to stick my khalil fong poster on the wall. When she was around dare not do it, as i m afraid she will scold me or mock me. Now that she is gone for 6 months... Hee.. Anyway with my idol's poster on the wall I will not be that lonely, since she is not with me, at least he is with me. Hahahahhaa...

Telepathic waves really works

2010-01-15T23:14:00.004+08:00

Actually really feel like going out lately, but because i want to save some money to go travelling(don't ask me where i am going, i got no idea, i jus feel like leaving here), so i tot i wouldn't ask anyone out, but i was kind of praying that people would ask me out so i would have an excuse to go out. hahahha.. I realised i might not be making sense to some people...

Anyway decided to send some telepathic to elin.. hahaha.. want to go shopping. so i was kind of sending strong brain wave to her asking her to ask me out soon. I was going to give her till next wk to ask me, well guess what?! she called me jus now to ask me out.. hahhahaha.. gosh brain wave really works!!!

I wonder if it will work on someone i like. I am not trying to say there is someone i like at the moment, cos this person doesn't exist yet. Well, if i were to send enough brain wave to make him like me, would he? ahhahahhahaha.. Childish crap again and i was talking about 转型. damn! failing so badly at it. Maybe i will do it next yr. ahhahah..

Anyway my Dec blues are quite gone. I am quite happy go lucky lately. Let's c how long it will last.

Work & Politics

2010-01-15T09:50:00.002+08:00

I am honestly rather pissed off right now. New year resolution to Ji some kou de(accumulate some kou de, not be so mean) is totally going down the drain today.

Yesterday i was on MC, when i came back i realised some receiving could not reconcile. Then some reconcilition and replies to cust is a bit weird. Anyway I kind of found out(don't ask me how i find out she is not exactly a smart person) she replied to some cust w/o letting me know. In other words, she is not adding me in the email correspondence. I am angry because, how am i supposed to get my job done, if you don't let me know what is going on, honestly it happened quite a few times. I hate it when people play politics this way and caused you to not getting your job done. Don't get me into trouble.

I can't stand it when things like this happen. Firstly, cause honestly she is not smart enough(to put it bluntly she is an idiot) to play politics like that, get discovered the next day, totally what's the point. Secondly, do whatever you want, i couldn't care less, you can try to guard me, but since i am able to do my job so well, it will be quite hard for you, again you are not smart enough, so use all your energy and brain juice to deal with me please, you can try, but i don't think you will ever get near. Thirdly, honestly, she is such a joker. ahhahahha.. idiot. Lastly, i couldn't be bothered.

It is at times like these when i really want to go for a trip. I want to leave all this crap behind. I honestly wouldn't retaliate cause i don't want to play politics, you can try getting me to enter it, but i wouldn't enter no matter what. To stoop to your level is seriously pathetic. It is really not the work that is affecting me, it is all this crap people are doing to try to make you angry or hinder your work. Honestly couldn't understand y some people are that evil and jealous. Instead of getting jealous, they should jus improve on their own duties to get recognised. Make so much stupid mistake still want to hai other people. You couldn't even do your job properly, care about people's job for wat. I honestly want to leave. Sometimes it is not good being your boss's pet in everyone's eyes.

I have to admit i say evil and mean things about people at times, but wat about this people? who do mean and evil things. Are we bad or are they worse. I cannot control my anger and hence my evil mouth, but i would never retailiate in any way to people like that. I hate it when i am labelled as bitchy, this people can do such things and get away with hurting you and when you say mean things about them you are bitchy. I just need to get it out of my system, what's wrong with that? Anyway whatever la.. I am so past caring.

Wedding, pri sch gatherings

2010-01-12T22:57:00.002+08:00

Attended a pri sch fren's wedding last sat. Really wish them happiness! It is really great to be able to find someone who you love and love you back. Honestly, it is the best thing that could happen to a person! So I wish them eternal happiness and I hope they are able to know how to treasure, love and respect each other.

Met some pri sch frens on sun.. really was quite fun. Get to catch up on their lives and able to be with them is jus happiness. Hope that we are able to meet again soon.

Merry Christmas

2010-01-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

Ok this post is not written on christmas, but wanted to update, but didn't have the time

The Cd I bought for christmas as a christmas present to myself. It is really a very good CD. Makes me reminisce about my time in taiwan. This was the concert i went to, but i went to the taiwan. Well, it drove away some of my dec blues i guess, but i still feel very "not here" if you know what I mean.

Anyway, this christmas i really want to thank the people in my life for always being there for me. So I bought presents to express my thanks. Honestly, it wasn't very costly and the presents could never express my gratitute enough. Thanks for being there for me! And i will always be there for your too!

P.S. I bought this CD for SL, she was really suprised, she didn't even know it was out. Hee.. I am really glad i could give her a pleasant surprise for once. At last i got it right once! Anyway she being pleasantly surprise makes me feel happy too.

Anyway this christmas i managed to meet a lot of people who i love(friends). Honestly, feel very blessed to have them by my side. I really enjoy doning night on christmas eve with elin, xw & hq. It was really fun, though tiring. It is like we nv stop talking. And all the funny stories that you guys shared and the heartfelt thoughts. Glad that you guys are in my life.. We must do this more often and not only during christmas!!!

New Year Resolution

2010-01-01T22:21:00.001+08:00

Be a better friend, better daughter, better sister and stop crapping!

My yearly horoscope says that i must be wary of what i say this year. Because 祸从口出 would happen to me very easily. Honestly this isn't the first year i have received this warning. So basically, aquarius are people who easily offend people by what they say.

Anyway, I am thinking of 转型 this year. Realised that if i continue being so "loony" I will scare all guys away and I will have to be single all my life. Hahaha.. And I was still talking about wanting to be single, till i meet "the one". Hhahaha.. No la, I am not going to 转型 just because of meeting a guy la, cause sooner or later i will show my true colours and he will be scared away too. Hahahha.

I just think that as we grow older we must start behaving more like adults, i don't want people to say that I am childish at 30. But honestly I think I will never learn how to change. I am totally not succeeding in 转型 at the moment. hahaha..

Ok 转型is really a joke! I am not some celebrity 转设什么型. Hahaha.. Anyway if i am really quiet this year you know why. Gosh I can really crap!

December Blues

2009-11-18T10:23:00.002+08:00

I really hate december. Ok i just realised it is not december yet. hahaha.. That's not the point. The point is every year, during this period i would start having serious depression. This has been happening since J1, well except that during J1 i was having depression almost everyday and would cry almost everyday.

Maybe it is the weather. Maybe it is just that i feel like i have not acheived anything within the year. Feel so insecure, feel so easily upset, like i m pmsing the whole mth.

I really hate working. I don't hate the job itself, but i really hate interacting with people. It is like constantly having to entertain ppl, i don't want to. Also, constantly having to be on my toes to make sure that i don't say the wrong things and hurt people's feeling. It is like constantly having to 看人地脸色. And it is seriously very suffocating. Just now i said sth totally kiddingly and well it hurt someone's feeling, though after that she said it is ok, but i don't know i feel very upset, like honestly i don't know what she is upset abt. Realised ppl at work can be really xiao qi.

Actually i realised i m not a person who gets angry easily, as in, if i know this person is jus teasing me, i will forget it, but some ppl like to tease others, but will not be allowed to be teased back. That is something i totally don't understand. If you want to play with other then y can't they play back? Though honestly i don't like being teased, but my reaction is quite mild towards it.

Feel a bit upset at myself for saying the wrong thing. Jus now really wanted to jus hide in the toilet and cry. Realised the whole of december that's wat i would feel like doing. Hide somewhere just be with myself and cry. Ok maybe I jus need a lot of time with myself during dec. I really jus feel like not interacting with any human beings. I wish i could quit and jus stay at home all day now. I really don't feel like being here. I don't think i have good night sleep lately, i keep having nightmares or will jus suddenly wake up in the middle of the night but not bcos anyone or anything interupted my sleep. Urgh!!!! Maybe cos i m an aquarius so i need my alone time a lot, especially now. I hate dec!!! Ok I hate nov too!!!

Had a bad day

2009-11-04T16:39:00.002+08:00

I am so unhappy now. I think it is e PMS plus some unhappy stuff at work. maybe i am thinking too much.

Shall start with wat happened at work. Not convienient to share too much details, in short, someone asked me to go enquire about certain things from IRAS to handle certain things, then after that jealous that i know more snatch everything back. Like wat the fuck. no one want to fight with you la. Then IRAS gave her a simpler method to do things, which was e method i suggested, but she insist on using the longer method, cos she jus want to win. Fine let's jus use ur stupid method, but any problem with it go deal with it yourself don't push the blame to me. So eager to snatch for gong lao. I am smarter than you no matter what you do you can't change that fact. N'level cert only(no offence to n'level people, i know a lot of n'level people who work hard and try their best to learn, and are very capable, this is jus her i m against), jus with my o'level cert i already beaten you hands down, so don't come and act smart in front of me. Act smart then do stupid things, really bua tahan.

After that she ask me to do a stupid thing i refused. Then after that she used the reason i rejected on me. It was like didn't i jus say this a second ago, you must repeat wat i say to prove that you made the decision not me. Totally watever!

I want to get a new job, i would leave immediately after i get my bonus. can't stand working with idiots.

1st day of taiwan trip(07/10/09)

2009-10-19T15:01:00.002+08:00

Our flight was delayed!!! Damn sian. Reached there rather late. We reached taipei around 8.30pm, and we had to rush to take the gao tie to go taichung to meet up with huiru.

Huiru's hp was on low batt. In the end she waited rather long for us. When we reached we immediately went to feng jia ye shi. I really like feng jia ye shi, though i didn't buy much. We had Ji tan Gao, and Chou toufu there. I have never take chou tofu before. I tot if u overcome the smell the taste should be ok. But it is not. I didn't like it at all. Had one slice and well....

Huiru's house was at chang hua xian. Her house have an elevator!! Ok it is not those super high class de. Those that you find in old hk movie, must close the grill then can elevate, but nevertheless it was really cool. We reached her house super late, so we didn't get to say hi to her parents. Next morning, we jus hid in her room, cos it is rather weird to say hi to someone's relative without being formally introduced and without knowing who they are. In the end, cos they were off to work by the time we wake up we didn't get a chance to say hi to her parents. Felt rather bad and rude for not saying hi. Hopefully next time i get a chance to be polite if i ever have a chance to visit her again.

I am back!

2009-10-15T15:55:00.009+08:00

Got back on tuesday from taiwan. And honestly i don't miss singapore at all. Well welcome back to hell.

I really enjoyed the trip, it was very rewarding spiritually. During the one wk, I am able to escape from the crap of life, work, able to daydream and honestly i felt like i was 18 again when i didn't have to worry about anything much except enjoying. Actually there is really so much more to life than work, than money, than status. Only when you are travelling, when you leave ur daily routine that you will be able to comprehend that fact.

When i was travelling, i really feel that the world is so big and we are so small, so why do we get bothered by all the trivial stuff that happens in our daily routine. Why couldn't we learn to enjoy the goodness of this world.

Honestly i walked till my feet hurts v badly and i am still tired, but I really feel good, glad that i am able to escape even if it is just for a wk. I love my freedom when i was travelling, i didn't have a care in the world, don't need to think about work, my family or anything else, jus need to worry about what to eat next.

Actually before this trip i was getting more and more "absorbed" into this world. I was behaving more and more realistic, and honestly i didn't noticed it, cos somehow the change was rather gradual. I gave up some of the things i like(hobbies) for realistic stuff. After the trip i feel more at peace with myself, cos i was able to find the person who knows how to enjoy the world for the place it is. When you lose focus of what you want from life, maybe you can take a long trip to travel around somewhere, and you will feel that a lot of things is really trivial and we should just let go. I don't want to be a person who can't dream, or someone who forgot how to dream. I was becoming a person who can't dream before this trip and it was scary. Feel much better now.
Honestly i was super depressed when i wake up the next morning and realised i was not in taiwan anymore (we are not in kanas anymore). Was so depressed that i started crying before i prepare myself for work. hate going back to this people who are work slaves, they are pathetic. They get so fussy and (xiao xing yan) over every little things, can't they jus let it go. I don't want to face these losers, but i guess i don't have much of a choice.

Anyway i know i m not making much sense, because i don't really know how to put this feelings in words, maybe if i find a better way of expressing myself, i will rewrite this post. ok that's all for now

P.S I didn't went to a meditation trip in case you are wondering, cos all the talk about spiritual learnings might be misinteprated by the people who do not know where i went. I went on a trip to taiwan, it wasn't a wholly shopping trip, cos i wasn't there for the shopping. I was there for khalil fong's concert and it was a great concert. Shall update more on my trip later. sayonara for now.

Bad people trying to add bad.

2009-07-25T00:41:00.002+08:00

In the past I really thought e ae was concerned about whether i was doing too much work. as in she is concerned of me. Now I jus think she is a really lousy actress, a person with other ulterior motive but jus playing nice because she wants everyone to believe she is nice.

Since we move, maybe because I have been doing things quite effectively, so recently my boss is handling me with quite a number of responsibilities and I think she is unhappy with that. In the first place who was the one who didn't handle the job well and leave me to clear so much shit.

Lately there have been a lot of report which my boss ask me to do and he personally teaches me. Actually he did that last time too, but jus recently she noticed. Today she came to my desk a no of times jus to check wat i was doing. Honestly are you blind, doing report la. And honestly she didn't have to come to my desk to check wat i was doing all she needed to do is to check her email.

Recently, she also keep trying to spot my mistake. Sometimes she is e one who made the mistakes. Honestly, don't keep trying to put ppl in e spot if you r not capable enough. Dumb bitch!

Today she came to tell me she wants to tell boss that she thinks that i m doin too much report. Wat the fuck! After telling her I can cope she still want to do this shit. The one cheating OT in this co is U not me. And honestly, I think I proved that i can cope with me work, I can summit a report within a few hours, even with the number of report i m doin i still leave work at 5.30pm everyday. Don't try to steal away my things jus because you feel jealous or inferior and also because you are not capable enough. Still want to act like a good person, scared i can't cope. Wat the fuck! Be more honest with yourself! Don't try to act like a good person! Say until so nice. Go to hell la.

Honestly she want to take e report go ahead. I don't give a damn! Anyway I m not planning to stay here long. I remember one teacher in jc which i didn't like very much said this, but as this is very true I have to use it. "mian zi(face)" is people give de, respect needs to be earned. I think I gave her enough face, everyone else oso give her enough face. Respect for her, not in this lifetime. Honestly she is such a failure no one in the company respects her. Pathetic loser. And who does she have to blame? Only herself. You want people to respect you do your work well, don't procrastinate. Then still always on the phone. If you want to slack do it discretely. I also slack sometimes, but after i do my work. Can't even finish your work cheat OT still talk on the phone. Honestly you think people are blind ah? And honestly no one is indispensible, don't think you are that great you are nothing. Really can't stand this place anymore! Shall leave after bonus.

The best actors are the people around you!

2009-07-17T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hmmm... Today don't feel very happy. Actually today my office is moved. As in we move office. Just one move really saw the true colours of some people. The slackers who were not doing anything, the people whom you nv though would cheat to get OT. Actually today I was so angry that I couldn't act anymore. I kind of displayed my anger. Not a very smart thing to do. But there is definitely a boiling point to everyone. When u reached it, even when you know it is not right you can't really help it. I really think I should get a new job soon. I can't stand working there. This is the first time I feel this way about this job so far.

I seriously think when people are very stressed they will show their true self. And today it was really obvious. In the office you really can't be too righteous. Cos everyone working is not. And it wouldn't do you good if you are. Gosh this society is really pathetic. I think I need to change my nosy character and be more apathetic. Shall tell ur more on this issue tmr too tired now.

My last piano lesson for now..

2009-06-29T21:38:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. Decided to give piano up temporary... Feel very depressed today.. when i went to my piano teacher's place, i really felt like this is going to be the last time i am playing this piano, playing this tune, last time for her to scold and nag at me.

Actually I like playing the piano a lot.. But after 9 years of not much improvement and now with lesser time, it is becoming a burden to me. Hmm.. I m taking acca soon. Next wk in actual fact. With jap class and acca, really feel kind of tired plus after work. Feel very upset and angry of myself of giving it up. But actually really no time to practice and after years of no improvement, it is getting frustrating and tiring. Sometimes when you feel so incompetent in something you like, it gets so discouraging. And practicing on the few notes you play badly, so many times, that you forget to enjoy the song. So tired of piano lessons so decided to give it up.

Still it is not easy to give up something you like that badly. No matter how many excuses i give myself to give it up i still feel angry and upset at myself. You will ask, then y do u give it up. But i m really really very tired, goin to lessons after work is so exhausting, and no time to practice, plus acca... In e end i chose bread over interest. To give up something i like to take up something i don't like tat much but something that is more practical. Give up on practising, give up on dragging myself to lessons after a tiring day of work. When did i become such a quitter. I really want to take it back up after i complete e acca course, but i really don't know how long that would be. I still love playing the piano though i m super bad at it... Hate life when you never seem to have enough time. Somehow as you grow older you seem to give up things u like for practicality. Damn, i m becoming the person i hate. hopefully i will remember this post in 3 yrs time and take up piano again.

no more mata, ashita(C u tmr)

2009-04-17T21:12:00.002+08:00

Gosh my jap colleague has been gone for one wk. Feel v weird w/o him around. It is like the office have lesser laughter around. But my jap colleague is still v kind, teaching me jap over the email. Hahaha.. He told me to ask all my questions including work related questions in jap. Then well i jus use e translate site he gave me and got caught. He kind of told me off over the email, tell me to make my own sentences not copy someone's else sentence. Hahah.. Gosh.. Really a very nice person!

Last wk was their last day. We had our farewell party at hyatt. Buffet at hyatt. E food was really not bad. Hee.. Took a lot of pic. Big boss drove us there, i think he was very sad that they r leaving, soon he wouldn't have much chance to speak jap, the only ppl who he can talk to will be gone. i hugged my fav jap goodbye. Then i was telling him I can't tell him mata ashita anymore, i can only say sayonara for now. Hee.. Big boss heard it, then he started saying mata ashita to me, so funny.. Then i kiddingly told him, i don't really want to c him tmr, cos tmr is good friday a public holiday. Hahahha...

After that some of my colleague and i went to firefly a club near mariott.. The shipping assistant said that the place was like NTUC club. A lot of elderly.. hahahhah.. quite true. Anyway was really v tired in my heels and have been standing for an hr or so. so i took off my shoes. Really don't like places like these and i really can't drink. would nv go to clubs ever! And i really can't dance! really no way! Ok la it was quite an experience.. Places like these you would really c all kind of ppl. Not really my kind of place.

IT

2009-03-26T18:40:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i mentioned that i would be fully in charge of IT. I did mentioned that i m quite happy to have a chance to be in charge of something, and also it is a chance to me... Today e ae told me she talked to the boss. About my workload.. She is worried that i m overloaded. Actually this gesture should be read as she worrying for me.. But in my mind i was kind of unhappy with what she did..

In the first place if i don't think i can handle it i will feedback to her. But i didn't, because i want to try. And honestly the work i m doing is minimal. I totally can't understand y she is so busy but won't delegate any more work to me. The shipping assistant once told me e ae was always had a lot of work to do in e past cos e ex-accountant gave her a lot of work. But if i m supposedly taking over her position as accounts assistant and this is the workload i honestly think it is not even enough. I have to say i m learning quite a lot, but not enough to me... To me no matter how selfless a person wants to be or try to pretend to be, i think there is always selfishness and fear. Furthermore this ae don't even have a diploma. In other co she is very unqualified to be an ae. Maybe she do fear me. I feel that at times she is quite worried that i might overtake her.. Cos i asked her if i sld do acca, and she said i shouldn't since i have a degree.. but then when i ask other ppl for their opinion they think i sld learn more. And also there were some reports that my big boss ask me to do directly then she would ask me wat i m doin and like how she cld help, but the thing is her currently workload is already up her neck still ask me. To me she seems worried that i m not under her..

Ok la if i m a boss i would be afraid. And my character i think when i work i get a bit aggressive. If i were given a chance i would treasure it and want to perform. So far i don't believe i will fail. Actually i nv tot i was agressive until e sales manager at laura ash told me she thinks i m v agressive at work.. True.. I kind of feel quite happy when e boss ask me directly.. cos it means he kan de qi wo.. Oh ya i was quite pissed cos i did mention yest that in e future i might be in charge of both sap and server.. then in e end she discuss w e boss she told me in e future she will be in charge of sap she might need my help. I was kind of pissed off.. Like it was supposed to be under my care now she took it and become i help her... Actually i really don't understand y she have so much work but won't delegate. E only reason y i think is cos she don't want me to learn too much.. Actually if she is that unwilling to teach me and i can't learn that much i will resign and join another co.. Cos being here for 8mths i think i need to learn more still.. And my workload is too little liao i m super bored..

Actually i m kind of plotting liao.. Hee.. I m plotting to be very prepared for the meeting with the boss and any training on sap. So that if my boss sees my attitude and confidence he might let me take over... Gosh i nv knew i was this agressive. Hopefully my fight for the workload i can manage is successful.

Something embarrassing

2009-03-25T21:51:00.002+08:00

I think i m still in dreamland.. As in i still feel like I m not really myself still hahah.. Still did some stupid stuff...

Today i did a good deed. I helped the dirty male toilet, toilet bowl flush it.. ahhhahhaha.. Today me and teresa went to vivo to have dinner. Then i pulled her to e toilet. When i went into e toilet i tot how come so few cubicle. Then i went into a cubicle and i was like yucks e toilet bowl so dirty... Suddenly Teresa started shouting from the toilet entrance.. Amanda wrong toilet this is male toilet.. I was like huh weird teresa.. I already locked e door. Anyway i was still thinking she must be thinking e toilet was dirty.. But then something weird happened a big fat man was in front of me.. Gosh i literally followed the big fat man out of the toilet(I think he didn't wash his hands.. Yucks! ok that is so not the point) So embarrassed! Then when i saw e urinal then i was very sure i was in e wrong toilet. i should have jus stayed there and die.. I still pull poor teresa into e male toilet.. Gosh i seriously tot it was e female toilet le! And teresa said this was e first time she walked into e wrong toilet... Ahhh.. i want to die... And gosh guys r really dirty! i tot the girls toilet was seriously dirty ur sld totally go c a guy's toilet.. Totally yucks... E sight of some things in there really want to make me puke.. ahhahha..

Oh ya today e jap colleague told me i will be overtaking his duties of IT apparently.. E big boss haven't announce it to me yet.. Anyway I m supposed to be in charge of the whole co's IT... I tot he was joking, but i think he was quite serious when he said that.. Gosh and i asked him y m i e choice.. He said cos e other 2 ppl good in IT are always overseas. So since i m always in the office i m in charge.. Gosh. I tot i was only in charge of e server but he said both sap and server.. gosh.. faint! He said e other 2 ppl good in IT it means he thinks i m good in IT too.. Gosh he haven't seen me inject virus into my sis laptop a few hundred times causing it to crash.. hahahha.. I think i will jus keep asking them to reboot their system.. Hee.. But ok la.. quite good experience.. But it is such irony.. A few wks ago when i know e 2 jap were leaving i was still laughing.. cos it means big boss must be in charge of IT then imagine we ask him when we encounter any small problem.. Hahhaha.. In e end.. It must be karma! but ok la.. Hopefully can learn more...

Memory Loss

2009-03-24T20:47:00.002+08:00

Gosh the past 2 wks i was rather sick. Was always sneezing and coughing, worse still i had memory loss! gosh...

I honestly can't really remember what happened last wk. I made a few blunders at work due to being drowsy and well..

Last sat sl and i went to watch a concert, we bought tic the wk b4.. Well when we reached there was about to go in when i asked sl to take out both our tic. She was like ya i have my tic so y aren't u bringing out yours. I was like isn't the ticket with you! And gosh it was a totally panic moment. She thought i forgot to brought mine, while i tot my ticket was with her. hahahha... we were rumaging through my bag trying to find the ticket since when we bought the ticket i was carrying e same bag, but it was not there! Fortunately we r able to get replacement ticket for the price of $5. When i went home i found the ticket.. Gosh the memory of me putting the ticket in my bag was totally gone. Very scary! Especially cos i have a very good memory. This is wat a throat infection could do to u!

The performers were soil and pimp and jazz band from japan. Anyway the ppl there were weird. They were shaking away to the music and were very high, but i really feel that their music is not that up tempo (upbeat) so i seriously couldn't understand how they could be so "mad" almost equavilent to fans of a rock band. Hee.. We sat down throughout the concert cos i seriously don't want to stand and shake. Hahah.. Anyway the saxophone player came off stage and he stood on my armrest playing the saxophone. was so shocked! the ppl in frt ask us to stand up but i think if i stand up while he was playing on my armrest, i would most likely anchor him down, as in knock him down with my arm. ahhahaha.. his sweat kind of splatter on my hand.. It was really quite an experience. hahahah.. Have to say the music was really not bad...

Gosh more not so happy news at the co. My brother is leaving.. hahha.. happy for him oso la.. Better prospects. Hai.. too many bad news liao.. Till seriously not much feeling.. Want to get excited about something. Gosh... Let's hope there will be good news soon.

All good things must come to an end

2009-03-18T21:47:00.002+08:00

Was super sad yesterday morning, when our boss broke the heartbreaking news to us. Two of our jap colleague have to be posted back to Japan, due to the cost cutting measures. Gosh almost cried in front of everyone when e news was said. the service manager looked like he was goin to cry when they announced that he have to go back. He is honestly the nicest guy in the company. He is a good father, a good colleague. He really love his children a lot and his really sincere to all of us. He is e guy who will speak in jap to me to train me to speak jap. Very grateful to him for all e help he gave me with my japanese homework. Hee..

Realised that when they go back their position will be lower than their current position. As there isn't any excess space in the company they will go to where ever that needs ppl. I heard that ppl might go back to be a storeman. Gosh really ridiculous. Hmm.. Also the service manager's eldest son might not be in time to enrol to a jap high sch over there. So well e sch might be alone here. Quite sad! He love his family very much and i don't think he would want to leave his son alone here, but no choice. So sad.... Gosh will really miss him when he go back and with two people gone there might be a lot of ppl trying to gain control of the dept.

Actually I was a bit pissed with the sales manager.. When e announcement was made, he was quite wu qing. Instead of feeling a bit "will miss them" he immediately tot of who will take their places. Seriously y must make the place so political. Furthermore it is none of his business he is already a manager he can't get promoted any further. Anyway it will no affect me in anyway so jus let it be.

Today i told my colleague abt a show i watched on tv abt darren lim and evelyn tan. They visited their house then they r currently living in a bangalow. Then the ae suddenly say girls don't have to be so smart jus have to marry good. Honestly!!!! What age is it now! Still got people think this way... I realised the world is like that people who have old thinking will bring their old thinking and superstition to their children. And somehow these superstitions will never die. Those people who "can't study" wouldn't think much about studying, likewise people who "can study" will think highly of studying. my other colleague rebutted her saying need smart people to have smart offspring. Hee.. In my heart i was thinking not everyone can marry good. If you are not able to depend on someone you must at least have some capabilities to survive. And studying open up your options, and having more knowledge is better than having no knowledge.

Actually i think studying more give people confidence. A person who can study more have more confidence than people who study less because they have knowledge. In a sense i think knowledge is power, one way of gaining knowledge is through experience and the other is through education. So likewise a person who didn't study much but have lots of hands-on experience is as knowledgable as someone who study and only have book knowledge.

E ae also said don't need to learn english. Actually another of my colleague who couldn't speak good english feels the same. But in singapore e education system is in english, w/o english the person's math and science would also be in trouble. And if you are able to speak in english you will feel more confident when a foreigner speaks to you. Actually it applies to chinese too.. So i think we have to be bilingual and be very good in both language.

I have to say I have trouble communicating with these people at times. Not that i think that i m smarter. Just that i couldn't understand their way of thinking. Like she can tell me study so much jus for a cert. To me i don't study for the cert i study for knowledge i don't want to be dumb. Urgh... i can't stand dumb ppl, so i can't stand myself being dumb. and i totally can't understand their weird logic. Maybe it works... but then the people will nv improve..

He is just not that into you

2009-02-26T22:09:00.003+08:00

Gosh, it was a totally great movie. Please go watch it. Really funny and romantic.. Like the story of the girl waiting by the phone most..

Hmm.. my thoughts after watching that show is that a lot of the theories are basically true. Girls jus want drama. They kind of jus want fairy-tale endings and no matter how hard they pretend to be tough, pretend not to want it secretely deep down inside there is a drama queen in all of us. Girls prefer to be in denial. They rather be lied to than to hear the truth. They wish they are the exception to the rule. Gosh..

I think we have to be realistic at times. Don't wait for the people who don't give a damn for us, treasure the ppl who love us, though they can't give us wat we want all the time and when it is time to get over it, get over it. Don't continue giving yourself false hopes. Easy to say hard to practice.

Girls just wants to be loved. They just want to believe in love. gosh.. we can be quite pathetic at times

life, office stuff..

2009-02-24T20:22:00.002+08:00

today i realized that my boss actually paid for the welcome lunch at shang ri la. Was actually quite touched cos it cost $1300. I know some ppl will say y touched since he is e boss he should pay. But if you think he is not obligated to pay, he is like one of us, jus taking a pay from the company, this is not his company he is not obligated to be so good to his staff, but he is. And for that i m really touched. Recently due to the yr end audit we seems to have a lot of impromptu reports to do as requested by hq. And when he ask me to do them he was like so apologetic, sorry that he is adding on to my work. Honestly he made me feel so pai sai, it is like i m being paid to do this don't need to keep apologizing. Then after u complete the work he will thank you like siao.. gosh.. Really feel very appreciated and really want to work harder even though the pay is not high. Really v touched by this boss. I really love my company(What i m saying is that currently i love my company, cos maybe sth bad will really happen then i will hate everyone hee..)

Read this article on the newspaper. Girls only want to be wanted. hahah.. was thinking that it is quite true. But come to think of it guys these days really cmi, especially when they grow older, they r not that bold and would not dare to do things to really woo someone. Only if they r sure that e other person might have feelings for them then they woo them. Y like that! girls like being wooed even if they don't like tat guy and even if they reject that guy, that guy shouldn't be sad, cos the girl would have been touched and at least think highly of that guy for his courage. ahhahah.. Honestly hinting will not work, so guys please jus stop trying to hint. hahaha..

People seems to have unlimited wants, when they are in a relationship, they seem to expect more and more from someone. And well, hate it when girls want love for really superficial reasons. In the first place are you even good enough for that person, who are you to pick that person.

At the moment really enjoy being single, no problems.. all these stuff are too complicated for me. and when i say this don't doubt me, i m not u! I m not desperate like u! I don't want to have a bf for superficial reasons like you. And just for your information people who you like may not like you simply cos you are not good enough for them, jus like how you feel others are not good enough for you. I hate desperate people!!

And in case those reading this entry is guessing there is nothing to guess this entry is really simply my thoughts of the world and people.

Happy birthday to me!

2009-02-12T20:59:00.002+08:00

This post is long due, but well didn't have the time to blog. Was basking in the happiness of my birthday.

Honestly, this yr bday is one of the best bday i have had. It is not great because i got a lot of presents, it is cause of the people who celebrated with me, honestly jus having them with me is the greatest present. I don't mean to be so mushy, but this is truly wat i feel.

Birthday started with the company celebrating for me. Hee.. The feeling of the whole company singing you a loud birthday song is great, even the south african guest had to sing. hahha.. Hmm.. my company is like my family, feel really great with them. Some of my colleague also initiated to celebrate with me on my bday day. Due to some things we didn't celebrate together, but it was the thought that count.

That night i met my pri sch fren. Was surprised to receive a prez fr minli, didn't expect them to give me a present. Met teresa too. She gave me a prez too. totally didn't expect it.

After that on the actual day i asked my best fren to come my hse to get jap notes. wasn't expecting anything this yr, but she bought me a cake a bday prez and a bday card. Quite touched.

After that met my elin, yik, xw, hq and pw. was surprised pw came. he was jus accompanying hq. but honestly he was quite a good sport to chip in for my prez and treating me to dinner, hmm.. nv was such good frens with him and hq so feel a bit pai sai for letting them treat me, feel super thankful too.. If i have a chance to celebrate his bday on it will treat him back.

The ae bought a coin pouch fr agnes b for me. was suprised and touched.. agnes b stuff is definately not cheap, furthermore i didn't get her anything for her bday..

Gosh really feel very blessed at the moment! Have a lot of friends and colleague who treat me well... I really can feel their sincerity. So thankful that ur r all around. and also thankful to those who remember to greet me on my bday grateful for that too. hee..

Happy CNY!

2009-01-29T20:21:00.002+08:00

Visiting and stuff this cny.. This cny passes surprisingly quickly, don't know whether cos when we r old time seems to pass faster. hee..

My nephew is so greedy! keep following me around the place jus to get some food. and he is only 18mths old and already like eating pizza. Hee.. i guess milk is jus too boring for him. Gosh have to run around e place trying to avoid giving him food. hee..

Shang ri la

2009-01-20T16:36:00.002+08:00

Hate dinner at shangri-la. it was basically a welcome dinner for me and my other 2 colleagues who r new. The food was ok not fantastic, definately not worth the price. It was really v fun being w my colleague. We took boss's car fr the office. He was in a good mood today making jokes and stuff. Hmm.. Had fun. On e way hm we decided to share cab. we walked v far fr forum to behind borders. ahhaha.. wanted to take bus, but couldn't bang seh them. then when my jap colleague wanted to take his bus i stopped him saying we must be united. in e end he missed e bus. then we bang seh him he took bus we took cab hm.. gosh feel so guilty, while he waited for his bus we were waving to him fr e taxi. ahhaha..

The wed after next wk they will be celebrating my bday for me. co subsidised of course.. v happy can't wait.

Happy 10th anniversary

2009-01-14T15:23:00.002+08:00

Last sun went out with my sec sch fren. gosh e dear organiser was late again! gosh.. after 10years nothing changed much! Hee.. Had games at settlers at holland v. well lucky us, it was their last day of operation. After that wanted to have crystal jade steamboat. we sat down and wait fr 7.30pm-8.30pm, cos e steamboat was only available fr 8.30 onwards. when it was 8.30 they told us the place is full, so we had to go somewhere else to eat in the end. Hmm.. it was really fun being w them, mindless chatting and stuff.. Actually i really like this group of frens cos they won't make you worry about the future because all of us are very much the same jus enjoying wat we have now not thinking much about the future. Jus crap about funny stuff, funny people. Seriously don't need to use too much brain around them, jus laughing and laughing, over and over again.

Read this book Marley and me recently. actually it was a totally boring book to me. However towards the end things got really sad, was crying quite badly. The book was totally a biography of his dogs, describing every little of wat his dog did. So it was quite boring, but the part when it was dying was totally heartbreaking. That is a reason why i would never have a dog. I could never accept it if it dies. I would most likely die of a heartbreak. Reading the kite runner at the moment. Should be interesting

Reflecting about life and stuff

2008-12-13T00:07:00.002+08:00

Today met my buddy. Actually sometimes i really hate her attitude. Actually i hate her attitude most of the time. Well actually i have mentioned her a few times as in how she has a bf but is materialistic and well ur can read e previous entries. Anyway this time i hate her attitude towards work as always. She is actually quite a smart lady. In e sense that she will nv let anyone take advantage of her but somehow she will always benefit fr anything. She is actually a very selfish person, nv giving always taking.

So well this time apparently she is being targeted at work. She told me tat she dislike the ae and not doin e work e ae(accounts executive) gives her. Then i think someone must be badmouthing her say she goes online too often or not doin work or stuff. Which i think should be quite true (since she doesn't have much work she got too much free time on her hand). And e ironic thing is that she say she rather they give her things to do. Got work complain don't want to do, no work complain too bored. It is really she got work but don't want to do ma. Really can't understand her! Now worse still the fc(financial controller) makes her write a daily report about wat she is doin. my fren say worse than attachment one wk once. well she is unhappy abt that and jus mc for 2 days. Honestly this part e fc really a bit unreasonable, picking on her, but on e other hand he is doin this cos she is too free. Well honestly he kind of too free too la. The thing is when a superior ask u to do things you shouldn't defy no matter how unreasonable. Being disrespectful is totally bad. At times like this he can fire u anytime he likes.

Then she is very demanding in looking for jobs too. Of course must look carefully, or else will keep complaining about how people are exploiting you, but please look at your capabilities. What have u done so far, or even learnt so far, and ur qualifications too. Jus cos u r pretty and guys treat you like queen you shouldn't be delusional. Honestly now she is seriously being overpaid for her job, being paid to sit there do nth. she was honestly very lucky can 趁火打劫. as they needed people during that time they jus gave her a pay increment tat was really very high. Don't know y she can't be contented.

Hate it when people are not contented with wat they already have. People who are so dissatisfied with what they have. Could understand that people have different demand but stop complaining for things you already have. And for people who refuse to take advise stop complaining about your own decision. Since you made the decision, stick to it! Hate it when ppl give up on things they intially believe in but everyone else does not. Honestly if you have so much complain jus change your job la. Honestly it is jus work y is everyone being so agitated and unhappy about it. Y is ur work controling you? Honestly who is happy working. Honestly i suffered a lot of shit during my temp jobs, but i didn't jus quit i stick thru it and since it was my decision I didn't give up no matter wat. I think people are always finding excuses about their decision is pathetic, they jus sound like people trying to convince themselves they made the right decision. So i hate finding excuses, if i think i seriously made a wrong decision i will either stick to it or leave it completely. You could stick through it like my previous 2 jobs, or jus leave it like my first job.

Actually i have been putting off saying this for many entries. I m really happy and feel very fortunate about my current job. I really feel happy there, i wouldn't dread goin to work and sometimes i kind of look forward to it. I m starting to like this line a lot. I like being able to reconcile stuff though 6 & 8 looks alike to me. hee. I like able to make magic with excel spread sheet and i like my colleagues a lot. They r really like siblings to me. I got my makan buddies, and my 学姐, and my uncle who teaches me japanese, he would throw a tantrum, in the sense that when i speak to him in english he wouldn't reply me then ask me to repeat what i have said in japanese. hahaha.. very cute. then i v kan qiong will say the wrong things. Honestly feel very blessed there, wondering how long my good luck will run. Kind of afraid that i will run out of luck soon. Actually everytime i go to work i would be afraid something bad will happen cos everything is goin to smoothly le.. 因为太幸福所以害怕失去. Kind of afraid saying this all out will jinx myself. But i jus want to be thankful for now. I realised it is not the pay that matters, it is how you feel about this place. When frens r already thinking of changing jobs, i m thinking how long i can stay there. I m afraid tat i will nv want to leave but if i were to not leave i will not be able to learn or get better pay, but then again i might lose this happiness. Gosh.. At the moment i m really very happy here. Maybe one day when this job cannot give me this level of happiness le then i will leave ba.

流星の絆

2008-11-09T17:37:00.003+08:00

This is the jap drama i m currently "following" It is really very nice so far. Very funny and lame. The story is about 3 siblings who lost their parents when they were young. Their parents were murdered. They promised to avenge their parents. Anyway this show isn't a serious vengeance drama. It is like while they were seeking revenge, they become swindlers. Anyway it is really nice and words can't really describe this show well enough.

Hate it!

2008-10-29T23:20:00.002+08:00

I hate it when ppl don't know me too well but pretend they know me very well and make comments about my character or my family. Honestly haven't they heard the silent dog bites?! Hate it when they make comments about my family when they don't know much. honestly family relationship is hard for outsider to understand. Though most of us like complaining about our family occasionally we don't really like it when ppl make unnecessary comments such as gosh ur mum must be sad that u and ur sis relationship is not v gd. Honestly though i fight with her a lot it doesn't mean that our relationship isn't gd. Though our characters differ and we can't stand a certain aspect of each other it doesn't mean that we r not good. i mean blood is thicker than water. No matter how much we dislike each other or can't get along at times we know that fact.

Honestly can't stand ppl who can only make fun of other ppl but can't take a joke on them. it is like wan bu qi jiu bu yao wan. Honestly irritating! Honestly some ppl are jus so bai mu! I realised sometimes i would oso act bai mu. as in cos tat person irritates the hell out of me, so i would purposely say the wrong things to make that person angry. Honestly if we were to play this game i might not lose making u hopping mad.

I think i like being in the accounts line.

2008-10-14T14:52:00.002+08:00

hahah.. yest and today there are some visitors in the office. well my colleague kind of introduce them to me and today was called out for lunch with them. Honestly, it was really awkward. Firstly i don't remember their names and i don't know what their position and post are. Somehow the ae and me was being separated. so i sat beside big boss 2 other guys and my jap colleague. was sitting around 5 man. hahah.. was totally depending on my jap colleague keep staring at him to make him talk to them so i don't need to talk. i really don't know how to join into e conversation and don't know how to start. gosh.. having indigestion after the lunch.. ahhaha.. luckily not in sales or marketing. i will jus faint fr thinking of wat to say. Honestly i can't even talk to them about work. cos i don't even know wat they do!!! hahahaha..

Haven't laugh as much as yesterday

2008-10-05T10:40:00.005+08:00

Gosh.. really haven't laugh so much for a long time! Gosh maybe it is cos we haven't meet up for a long time so had a lot to catch up on.

Yesterday went to fish and co with my sec sch frens. At first tot mh couldn't join us was a bit disappointed haven't really talked to her since she came back fr aus. hee.. was so happy that she could join us after work! hee.. Evon's hair and makeup was really nice. mh wanted to try. so we were at fish and co helping mh to make up. hahhaha.. quite funny. somehow smudge some makeup. and mh expression during makeup was really v funny. keep pulling her ren zhong and she close both eyes when she want to draw eyeliner for herself. ahhahahha... hmm.. how r u supposed to draw if u can't c at all?! hee. but in e end it really turned out quite nice. hopefully she had picked up e skills fr it and can draw real well!

later went coffee club. really catched up and laugh a lot... hahahha.. actually xin is really funny too always jiang hua mei zhong dian. she will talk for v long then u would be wondering where her main point is. then after u finish listening to her story u get very lost. hahahha.. and xin always said she will nv sit beside me again but sometimes she always turn up beside me. She said tat i talk too loudly will make her go deaf. Her ears will always have a buzzing sound after our gathering. hahahha..

and joyce is goin to hainan her homeland! hahhaha.. then she was learning hainan fr xin. xin's hainan sounds like thai and xin looks like thai! hee.. can go there and practice. Anyway reallly want to go overseas with them!!! but seems a bit hard to gather everyone to go. wkend trip not so fun to me.. must go somewhere far! was planning shanghai. joyce suggested. hopefully we can somehow make it. i don't like to be stuck on an island. don't bring me dere! hee.. i think e purposes of goin overseas is to explore the place. not to be stuck in some beach! hee.. and i really don't like e sun. hahhaha..

Yesterday was the last day of my pri 6 tuition. was kind of sad.. as in bu she.. will miss her in e future.. taught her for 2 yrs le. at first really couldn't stand her cos she is really lazy. and always refuse to do work but she have came a long way.. now she will call and msg me about homework. But i might teach her in sec 1. i told her mum she might not need tuition in sec 1 cos it might be easy to her. Told her mum to let her try to study by herself for one sem first... anyway they gave me a red packet on e last day too. gosh.. so weird.. someone u have been so personal with for 2 yrs will suddenly become a stranger that thought is really scary. hopefully will teach her next yr too.

Job and stuff

2008-10-01T10:32:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to hilton hotel for buffet actually to bid one of my colleagues farewell. Took his car there. Actually it was quite fun. It was like one family.. Teasing each other and stuff. and can eat a lot. Reminds me of that time dinner that e md treated at no signboard. No signboard e food really so so. i think zhu chao taste similar. hee..

When we in e car there, we were talking abt e girl who came in e afternoon for interview. cos they seem to like her and we guess will hire her. cos they brought her around. so my colleague were asking me if they brought me around for my interview. then i say they even brought me to toilet and canteen. and i thought they were v weird always completing my question when i couldn't answer. Then they said i was very silly. Cos fr their actions i should have guessed they were goin to hire me. actually they searched 4 mths for my post. was quite surprised when i knew that. which means many candidates came but were rejected. Actually i should have guessed but how would i know only my first interview. Yesterday e girl was only e 2nd candidate and they brought her around le still got many candidate so who knows. but e girl was really pretty.

During dinner sa chek was sitting opp me. v stressed. can't lang tun hu yan.. hahaha.. he ate so little. felt so pai sai eating so much! hahah.. i really think i can't understand them sometimes. then everytime e ae will so happen to look at me and translate it for me. He asked me if i have been to japan. then i didn't catch him e first time asked him to repeat instead. so when he repeated and i still couldn't understand i was embarrassed to ask him again. so quickly looked at e ae beside me and she came to my rescue. During e welcome lunch with e md tat was wat happened too. ahhahhah..

after tat sa chek was talking abt e candidate we were teasing him that a guy left now he can hire 2 girls to sit on his lap. ahhahah.. he was involved in e interview. but e interview process is actually v autocratic. in e sense that no matter who interview with e md. only he have e choice to choose who he wants. so they asked him if e girl 100% he said 100% cos he mentioned me.. he say when md asked him to bring me around knew that definately goin to hire me. ahhahah.. now that i think of it maybe he didn't like me that much but cos e md gave e thumbs up he got no choice. cos throughout e interview he didn't smile. but then they say at tat period of time he was v stressed and he said really funny stuff. Actually come to think of it i sld have known e md would hire me cos he keep trying to joke with me. now that i come to e office he jokes less with me. ahhahaha..

after dinner hosoya san drove me hm cos it was on e way. 2nd time sitting e md's car but again e driver isn't him. actually i was quite afraid to go hm with him. cos usually it is with a big grp and i won't have to make conversations with him jus listen. but individually he is v nice! actually i was quite terrible. cos i was afraid he wouldn't know how to go my place then keep trying to give him directions. cos it was night and raining. i couldn't really tell e roads. so at holland v i keep telling him to turn left though it wasn't e turn yet. luckily he didn't heed my advice. ahhahah.. was quite fun talking to him. and he said i must start practicing japanese on thur with him. ahhahah.. but i really don't like not being able to speak in full sentence. i told him when i master e ability to speak in full sentences i would speak to him in japanese. he is really a nice guy whole journey we were laughing and talking. oh ya he said i surprised him eat too much. he said when e jap colleague came fr japan got a shock tat e girls here eat so much. i told him if we have a pms eating competition e girls team jus 4 girls enough to wipe out e whole guys team. ahhaha..

Actually feel very unsettled recently. Like they r hiring new post so feel like i want to change dept cos acct is losing it's novelty. but i realised with me everything loses it's novelty very quickly. i think no matter wat job i do. but i like accts cos it really uses ur knowledge when u do. it is not some job where any tom dick or harry can do. but then w/o interaction with ppl sometimes it gets really boring. actually i kind of hope they hire guys. so tat i can psyco myself into thinking they need guys not girls. hee.. I don't hate my job. I jus hate working. ahhahha.. i think i need challenges but i still hate working. i hate that ur time is not ur time anymore like everything u have is contributed to a co for i don't know wat reason. To me wat's so great abt being a workaholic?! maybe cos i have started working since sec 4 so working has lose it's novelty to me long time ago. tat's y while everyone was praying to graduate i would rather jus study all my life. hai...and i seriously hate it when ppl tell me only if u work u can get money.. like all they think about is money. Y is money so impt! Honestly they r like saying money is equivalent to happiness. so money face for wat? i read tat e world's happiest ppl live in an island. The ppl there nv know wat e internet is, or wat wealth, reputation and status is. Those ppl don't need to work they jus fish and barter trade and yet they r v happy. Having nothing is a form of happiness. Not being greedy is a form of happiness. I really hate becoming a working robot and for wat? money! that's y i hate working cos we will soon become robots who don't know wat happiness is! We will soon think that money, status makes us happy. look at e ppl around u they r definately becoming tat sort of robot. it is honestly disgusting!

Feelings and stuff

2008-08-31T09:29:00.002+08:00

Started work already. hmm.. Work is fine. The people there are quite nice and the work load is not tat heavy. Quite happy being there so far, but i haven't really accept the fact that i have moved on to the next stage of my life. I still feel a bit "shocked", a bit lost and confused, a bit unhappy, a bit depressed.

Most of my female colleague r married. it is like they r just 25 but already married. Through conversation with them really can feel that they r living life how it should be lived. As in living life the way society expects of them. Work, get married, have children. It is like everything is so simple to them, just slowly moving on to the next stage of their life, without worrying, without thought, without much feelings. Not only these colleague! Even friends who r already working. Simply don't understand how this people r feeling cos i can't feel tat way. I don't feel happy at all having to move on to this stage. It is not cos i don't like working. It is cause i feel kind of empty. I don't know y this people can jus simply accept everything.

It is like everyone is telling how you should live. Pursue wealth, status. Jus because i m a graduate i m supposed to have a good job, good position, good salary. That is wat everyone is telling me. But y? Would i be happy with a good job, good salary? I think people are just after money and reputation to fill the emptiness within them. Because they don't know wat to pursue in life. I definately don't think good job is equvilent to happiness. However this is wat the society, your family expects of u.

Next at this stage everyone expects you to have a boyfriend and get married soon and the society(govt) wants you to have babies too. Gosh it seems like everyone is interferring with your personal life.

Y is everybody stressing me on how i should lead my life? Honestly starting to fill stressed by these expectations. I realised i couldn't continue being in denial. In the past when you r in a sch environment, there isn't any adults pestering you. everyone would say tat you r still young. But now suddenly i couldn't live in my own world anymore. I couldn't pretend i didn't hear. I couldn't ignore the voices. Cos you will hear that almost everyday. Who r u msging got boyfriend already ah? In the future how many kids you want to have? ahhh... I jus want to go to an island where there isn't anybody and live there for awhile. I don't want to get married, i don't want a good job, i don't want anything.. i jus want to be left alone.

Maybe it is cos i m an aquarius. the inner rebel refuse to conform to society's expectations. maybe i will forever be immature. i don't want to become a society robot! Like only talk about my job, my boyfriend and in the future my children. ahhh... i hate that kind of life! I just want to do anything that makes me happy. Have control over wat i want to do. Have thoughts about wat i m doing and not doing things blindly jus because everyone ask me to. Have feelings for life and not jus living it. Really feel very stifled.

Anyway feel rather touched and guilty recently too. Not giving tuition anymore when i told them the kids were very sad. keep asking me to continue teaching them. Then they planned a surprise for me. I m not supposed to know but they always talk rather loudly! hahahha.. gosh feel a bit sad to leave them. One day they might forget me and forget how much they like me, but at the moment they like me a lot and that is enough for now. feel guilty cos i couldn't continue teaching them. gosh but i might need to continue teaching them if i don't have anyone to hand them over to. hate irresponsible people who jus give tuition for the sake of money. teaching kids is not about money it is about responsibility. Though i wouldn't say tat i m a good teacher but at least i teach them with my heart try my best to teach them. hate irresponsible tutors. i think parents and kids could also tell sincerity. my pri 6 student improved a lot since pri 4 so her mum asked if i am willing to teach her in sec 1. well i told her, her child might not need tuition if she can study herself. so c if she can cope, if she can't cope then give me a call. ahh.. there r still so many stuff i m obigated to do. so many stuff i m responsible for.

A boring person afraid of getting bored

2008-07-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

Recently feel a bit depressed. maybe it is pms.. maybe it is me being confused about my life. Maybe it is me being afraid of what my life is turning into.

Asked myself this 2 question and I will automatically be depressed. What kind of person are you? What kind of life do you want to live? I feel so undecided about what i want! Did a personality test recently. Apparently I am a dove, peacock. A dove represents stability, peace. A peacock on the other hand represent materialism, wanting to live extraordinarily. Two very contradicting features in a person. hahhaha.. this sounds like i m half man half monster. anyway that is not the point. I really don't know what i want and i m honestly getting sick of not knowing. If i have a stable life will i be happy with it? if i have an interesting life would it be too interesting for me to take? gosh...

Recently very depressed also because i m very bored of my life. As in, it is fun meeting my dear old good frens, but i want to meet new people too... All of a sudden i really feel like i m a very boring person. Everyone's life sounds more exciting than mine. I m sick of this state i m in, but then i don't want to do anything to change it. My sis asked me if i were envious of her life, cos it is relatively more exciting than mine, honestly kind of, but not really also.. I like listening about her life, but i don't think i can live it.. Of course i m envious of my sister, she is smart, pretty, have lots of confidence.. she is the kind everyone wants to know and i m the one fading in the background. but well she is smart because she works hard, pretty sometimes i don't really think so.. as in it is her confidence that makes her beautiful.. her ability to flirt subconsciously. hahahha.. I think if you think u r beautiful u would be.. I guess the only thing i m envious of is her confidence ba.. Don't really know how come she can be so thick skinned sometimes.. And i love her decision making skills.. she is so decisive unlike me...

hmm... I am contented with my life in general. now i m at a confuse phrase i guess... i wish somebody could tell me wat to do! Honestly i wonder if i would be happier being a puppet. doing wat everyone expects of me..

Gosh i guess it is retribution. someone once told me perfect is boring. i told him i rather be bored. guess that wat is happening to me now. stuck in a boring life! urgh! hmmm.. actually my boring life oso attributes to the ppl i have been meeting recently. it is like i realised i have a lot of boring frens. frens who sometimes i don't even want to talk to cos i would get completely bored by wat they say. hee.. but i think the only reason y i think they r boring is cos recently i kind of meet ppl with "interesting" life. as in life different fr mine.. gosh... urgh.. if i m goin to work in accts i will meet more boring ppl! ahhhh... feel like fainting. gosh.. hope i snap out of this soon!

commencement ceremony

2008-07-10T10:08:00.002+08:00

yest went for elin's commencement ceremony.. hee.. as clementi doesn't have a florist. had to go wet market to buy her e sunflowers she like. almost tripped in e wet market.. ahhahah.. and e smell was of raw meat. ok anyway wanted to buy a stalk. but well e stalk was like asleep. so bought her e flower arrangement de which was for like table setting so it looks kind of awkward. hahahaha.. gosh.. went there. so funny elin couldn't find her parents. but i managed to spot her parents b4 her. i think i only saw them once, so was quite surprised that i can recognise them... gosh..

So we took photo and took food. ahhahahhaha.. we seem to be there to take photo and eat only. but it was quite fun la.. when i threw e plates i think i used too much strength a fork bounce out and hit somebody. hee.. after that bought a graduation bear for elin. e bear was super cute! anyway elin decided to name him tou mao gui.. hahahah. i think i suggested that.

Went holland v had crystal jade and ice cream. after that coffee bean. gosh it was completely a eating day. had a lot of fun chatting. time really seems to pass super quickly when i m with them. after than elin and i went shopping at marina.. bought things.. but elin left home empty handed. gosh when we went to zara a girl suddenly came to hug elin. gave us a shock. hahahha. turns out to be elin's best fren. and she recognise me but i recognise her too, cos elin got show us pic b4.. hahahahha.. gosh.. had ichiban for dinner. really nice.. hee.. anyway had fun..

2/7 out with teresa 5/7 out with elin and gang

2008-07-08T12:00:00.002+08:00

gosh.. really haven't seen teresa for a long time.. well had a lot to catch up on. really spent a lot of time chatting. went to sushi tei for dinner. the food was really yummy. this time round i really think the food is good. had fun...

went out on sat with elin, xw, yik to essential brews. really fun chatting.. we went to our fav crystal jade b4 that. but e food at crystal jade i think standard not as good as b4... maybe had imperial so find it not so nice, maybe it was jus tat day e cook ba.. cos e other time at jp was still quite nice. e finger food and apple crumble at essential brews were still v delicious.

anyway had fun there. met dave there. was really funny. i told xw, yik and elin i think tat guy over there looks like dave, then i keep saying hen xiang hor? then elin said the only reason y that guy hen xiang dave is because he is dave. hee... elin confirmed my suspicion. hahahha... dave was there with his gf. elin and i decided to suan dave. had fun suaning him.. ahhahahaha.. so evil anyway ya..

gosh have been meeting up with everyone except my sec sch frens. gosh when is sl and mh coming back fr aus?! i kind of miss them and of course xinyi... xinyi is always so funny.. no matter wat she says she is so funny! and joyce is always so random. see yee always join in e fun... gosh.. really miss them a lot.

anyway recently i did sth really stupid! urgh! i really reminded myself b4 it that i won't say.. but somehow e more u don't want to do something e more u will accidentally do it.. gosh i was really so stupid, and u have every right to be angry. gosh.. if anything goes wrong i really will jus be guilty for e rest of my life.. i m so sorry! but sorry is not enough, it will nv make up for wat i have done.. gosh... could u jus slap me or sth.. maybe i sld jus die! gosh.... i really don't know wat to do now.. jus pray that everything will be fine.. gosh i m such a jinx! ahhh.. i really hate myself!

1/7 majhong at sam's place

2008-07-08T11:55:00.002+08:00

went for a mj session at sam's place.. sam was supposed to cook for us. but i think he didn't want to try knowing that he will fail. so instead he bought us dim sum. not bad.. anyway he made us desert, brownies.. Brownies was really delicious. he is really good at making brownies. the mj session was really fun... at first the liu sisters keep winning so sam and i decided to create a secret code to beat them. hahahha.. towards the end i win small but won a bit. hee.. better to win small than to win nothing at all. had funny listening to music and chatting. realised lots of jjc ppl lying around. jia min, sam, amanda and me were all fr jjc. then sam, amanda and me were fr rono. hee.. gosh. oh btw amanda is sam's sis. haven't seen her since pri sch but she kind of still looks e same. hee..

29/6 went out with minli

2008-07-08T11:51:00.002+08:00

Went for dinner with minli, samuel and alan. went to the equilateral minli and alan was drinking there. they ordered 10shots. hahahah.. hmm.. nice place, but well not my kind of place. didn't like it much. went to mos for food. e food was not bad. hmmm.. had a nice time chatting with them.. hee.. always fun with them.

28/6 with daphne

2008-07-08T11:46:00.002+08:00

went out with daphne today. asked siong and kelvin along. hmm.. first time out with the 2 guys. first time i met kelvin. kelvin is e mkting temp. anyway kelvin was quite a funny guy. very easy to talk to. we went to ktv, but he refused to sing. siong kept singing. anyway after that me daphne and kelvin went to have tao hwa at this place. can't remember e name, but it was really nice, but v scary. cos we were eating at some back alley and there were rats, cockroaches and scary pest. anyway a grp of guys damn niang! when they came they started moving to another table cos of e pest. then they were like ewww.. ahhahahha.. so funny.

after that went to watch a midnight movie. gosh. daphne and kelvin fell asleep during e movie. it was e zohan was supposedly a super funny movie. but it was honestly quite lame. hee.. had fun.. was really tired though..

25/6 went out with kathy

2008-07-06T20:28:00.002+08:00

met up with kathy and ann ling. really had a nice time with them. we chat a lot. anyway ann ling is a jal stewardess.. told us stories about stewardess and others. quite interesting. anyway kathy's parents drove me home. hee.. went home with the entire family. they went to their grandma place as usual. They still remember me gosh.. after such a long time. was really touched. still remember where i stay and stuff.. gosh.. really felt like they r a very nice family

7th day and 8th day

2008-07-06T18:37:00.002+08:00

today is shopping day! went to shinjuku and shibuya and harujuku. nice place. bought a lot of stuff. we wanted to visit this shrine in shinjuku then it turns out to be a cemetery. hee.. i think in japan there isn't a term as cemetery. hee.. cos a cemetery is also called a shrine.

on the last day we walked around ginza area really cool. it was kind of like orchard road. hmm.. the next time i go japan i really want to go yokohama. yokohama seems like a really nice sight seeing place.. the last few days was quite nice. hee.. had fun...

Anyway didn't take many picture. don't really like taking pictures and e camera kind of spoil halfway. hee.. The taiwanese tour guide was really nice really like her a lot. she really went an extra mile. called us during our free and easy day to check if we were fine. really nice.. hmm.. i like japan. don't mind goin back

6th day

2008-07-06T18:21:00.002+08:00

Kind of the last day with the tour group. went to the shopping mall with them. managed to get fancl stuff.. hee.. after tat accompany them to the airport and bid them farewell. actually we could have venture off on our own. but felt a bit bu she.. and oso a bit afraid. as in the schedule was previously planned by the agency.. all of a sudden must start thinking and planning ourselves, honestly i felt a bit lazy. totally don't like thinking.. honestly it was really exhausting at the 6th day was already very tired. anyway tat night we went to tokyo tower.. really pretty!!! hee.. really love tokyo tower. anyway it is supposedly taller then the french's effiel tower, suddenly realised the effiel tower isn't tat tall after all. hee.. really tired so we went back early to the hotel to rest

5th day

2008-07-06T18:15:00.003+08:00

Hmm.. e tour is nearing the end.. feel a bit sad and kind of want to go home oso. hahahahha.. anyway today we went to disneyland. Disneyland was not really crowded as compared as it usually is. We took quite a number of rides and we looked at the shows too. really like splash mountain and winnie e pooh. Winnie the pooh was really the best! I heard it is the most popular ride there. the japanese like the ride a lot. hmm.. but a bit of a pity couldn't stay for the firework display. i heard it will be the best. anyway in e future if i ever go japan i will not go on tour ba. would go disney again and look at the fireworks. Bought some souvenirs from disney for myself. the food was quite good. as in quite delicious and well the things were quite special. That night when for a drink with my sis and 2 guys fr the tour. the conversation with them was really quite ok. nv tot i could talk to strangers well, but i didn't think i talk that much, jus listen more. but the conversation was really quite entertaining v funny.

4th day

2008-07-04T19:01:00.003+08:00

Went up to the fifth level of mount fuji. Mount fuji is really beautiful. really cold there. hahahah.. heard in july or aug can try climbing mount fuji. they gave us a bell. the bell is for luck and blessings. quite interesting. hahahha.. feel very 'blessed' in japan.

In the noon we went to the aeon mall. there was a statue of liberty there.. the statue was really small. went shopping. bought a bit of stuff. hee.. after that had tako yaki for lunch.. super delicious! really taste much better than sg! After that we went on a ride on the boat. The rainbow bridge was super beautiful. the view was really breathtaking. really nice.

At the night we went for bbq. the food was really not bad. hahaha.. ate a lot. at the end of the day when we reached the hotel my mum and sis had to go to e toilet. abandoned me with the luggage, fortunately another guy and e tour guide helped me.. gosh.. felt so awkward with 3 luggages. really didn't know wat to do. it is like starting to panic when they haven't come out of e toilet after so long and everyone left with their luggage.

3rd day

2008-06-30T16:32:00.003+08:00

I honestly can't remember wat was on the third day. i kind of remember sleeping on the bus.. ahhahahhaha.. ok that's not the point. anyway in japan the highways have sound protector walls all over so u shouldn't wouldn't be able to see much scenery on the bus.

I think we went to the foot of mount fuji. Oh ya we went to hakone. ahhahahha.. hakone is the foot of mount fuji. there is a sulphur thing there that turn eggs into black eggs. something like that la.. i was sleeping on the bus so didn't remember much. hahahha.. anyway the black eggs is believed that if u eat one it will extend ur life by 7 years. the black eggs is cooked by the sulphur water or something la. anyway it was quite cold there. very comfortable. the black eggs actually tasted like normal eggs jus that e shell is black.

after that we went to an old village. there was hot spring water there. the cao bing there was really nice! was able to see mount fuji from there.. it was really beautiful. after that we went to the hot spring inn. hee..

I think we went to the outlet during this day. hahahah.. really can't remember. bought a lot there but there was honestly not enough time to shop. outlet things r really cheap. but i think the outlet place is quite out of the place. as in it is located in a ulu part of tokyo. the sales man was really cute! ahhh.. don't know how to describe his cuteness.

had sashimi at the hot spring inn! was really nice! so much better than singapore. in singapore the maguro jus taste like canned tuna. but the maguro there was great no fishy taste at all. would not eat sashimi in singapore liao. after that went for a hot spring bath. really shy must go naked in there. hahahhaha... yesterday when i talked to alan, alan said he didn't dare enter the hot spring cos it was muddy inside. gosh, how could it be muddy! the guys must have did something to the hot spring dirty it or sth. gosh e water in e hot spring was really hot. felt a bit giddy after getting out. giddy spells nv ever left me. hee.. anyway there were 3 guys around our age in the tour. then so funny, their mum tricked them into wearing the yukata down for dinner. heard their mums saying when she tried to tie a ribbon for her son, he said "mummy i m not a present" hahahhaha.. really funny! anyway the yukata was a bit too big for me and my sis didn't like it. hahahha..

2nd day of e trip

2008-06-30T15:18:00.002+08:00

On the first day at the imperial palace, some taiwanese ah peh came to talk to me.. hahahha.. he tot i was taiwanese.. so weird.. my mum and sis were beside me but he didn't talk to them jus me.

ok back to the second day. actually due to being too tired i can't really remember the itinerary that well. i think we went to nara on the second day. there was the nara deer park and a temple. the temple was quite interesting. there was this hole in the pillar. it is said that if u can pass through the hole u will be blessed with good health and brains. anyway the hole was really small some people got stuck. it was rather stressful cos ppl were standing around waiting for their turn and looking at u to see if u can pass through it. hahahha.. ok as u can guess managed to pass through it effortlessly.. hee.. quite interesting. At the deer park there were a lot of deers.. the deer weren't afraid of us at all. anyway the droppings smell quite horrible. hee.. after that we went to kyoto..

On the way to kyoto a geisha joined us. i think the geisha was kind of scary. hahahahha.. ya we took photos with her.. ahhahah.. it is really rare for a geisha to go on the streets due to rule or sth. so basically a lot of people were following us cos of the geisha.

I really like kyoto a lot!!! i think disneyland and kyoto were my fav places. at kyoto there was a temple called qing shui si.. really crowded temple. really tot it was beautiful cos it was like watching something out of a jap drama or sth. anyway there was a yin yuan place in there. then there were two stones very far apart called the yin yuan stone. there is a legend that if u think of the person u like and shut ur eyes and manage to walk from one stone to another u will be fated to be with him, if not it means you should jus give up. anyway didn't c anyone trying.. i don't think it was possible to reach the other stone. the stones were really far apart. i think it was at least 100m apart and the temple is really very crowded before u can walk to the stone i bet u would bump into a lot of people. honestly don't think it is possible to walk fr one stone to another.. hee..

After that there was this water fr the fall where u can drink for blessing. 3 types of blessing, intelligence(academic), health and love. u can only choose 2 or else it wouldn't come true. really interesting.

I think at night we went to gifu.. hahahah.. gifu is a beautiful place! very country side. really quiet and peaceful, very different from osaka. after being in singapore for so long really enjoyed being at the countryside. we went on a boat at gifu. was supposed to go look at a bird catch fish.. it is a traditional trade. quite interesting. had a bento on the boat. the food was quite good. ahhahah.. so cool sitting on a raft like boat having dinner. anyway the people at gifu were also very sincere very nice.. liked gifu a lot. the hotel at gifu was also bigger than the rest. slept very well at gifu.

Japan trip

2008-06-29T14:04:00.002+08:00

First day of the trip was spent on e plane.. hahahha.. gosh. e flight stewardess there were terrible. as in they couldn't even understand and speak simple english. I asked ann ling my pri sch fren who is also a jp flight stewardess.. she told me that it is a fact tat the japanese stewardess do not need to learn how to speak english. cos the jap believe that their language is the most superior. so the flight towards there it is not surprising that they didn't know how to speak jap.

Anyway we touched down in osaka. Didn't really have a good impression of that place. The moment we walked to the immigration, met lousy japanese immigration officers. there was this 83 yr old auntie with our tour. then cos she didn't fill in some parts of the disembarkment form. The immigration officer pushed her aside! like really push not tell her.. wat the hell. then can see her rolling her eyes and the way she talked v bu nai fan.. really felt like slapping her! ok but if i were to do anything i bet i would be sent back to singapore right away. really feel like lodging a complain, but really no time. hee..

Went to the osaka palace. was quite pretty but really v small. ahhahah.. didn't go in to look. anyway after that went universal studio.. really was too tired. so didn't enjoy the rides much. anyway there was this hollywood dream a rather big roller coaster. i really didn't want to ride on it. cos it looks scary and giddy.. hahahah.. as expected after it ended my whole body was shivering and i felt like vomiting.. it wasn't very scary, but v terrible. realised i m really not a theme park person, as in those thrill rides places i m completely not interested in them. used to like them lots when i was younger. anyway the wizard of oz show at universal was really nice! liked it a lot.. quite interesting. after that we went to a shopping street in osaka.. quite interesting. hee..

shall blog more about my second day later.

Back from the land of the rising sun

2008-06-23T20:45:00.002+08:00

Yes i went to japan for a wk or so.. had a lot of fun.. actually the biggest thing i learn from that trip and is e reason for me missing japan so much is that there is handsome guys there everywhere..

gosh jus a few days back from japan looking at singaporean guys i feel kind of depressed.. hee.. people i tot were average, i suddenly feel that they r ugly! i realised my standard has been lowered by singaporean guys. hahahhahah.. gosh.... i want to go back to japan! really fan hua chi there.. keep getting stares by jap girls. cos i keep staring at their boyfriends.. everyone in japan is in a pair. as in there r couples everywhere. then when u look at a good looking guy u will usually c a girl beside him or he might be pushing a pram.. feel so sad la.. but at least there were good looking guys to ogle there.. now that i m back i feel so hollow!!! hee... suddenly jap dramas r not enough to quench e thirst for good looking guys. cos honestly the guys there were better looking or equivalent to j idols.. ahhh.. i miss japan! i want to go back there now! hee..

gosh i secretly think e devil kidnapped my soul. i m seriously not like myself after i came back. suddenly so hua chi.. and i tot i was over that phase le.. ahhh... i want to go back to japan.

Realistic

2008-06-11T10:03:00.004+08:00

Recently i realised that people around me think that i m very 現實. M i really that 現實 i wonder. Anyway today i came out with a reason to defend myself... hahahha...

Actually i really kind of don't know wat xian shi means. Does it mean that i m realistic? does it mean that i m materialistic? or does it just mean that i m practical? we shall see about that.

ok most people say i m xian shi when they hear my view about love. Honestly, i hate to say this but i kind of don't believe in love. as in i don't believe in "love" in the way people always 把愛輕易的放在嘴邊. like they think that love is so simple that love is so easy.to me love is something very sacred very pure, very hard to explain. For example, i don't think people marry truly for love, and people shouldn't only marry solely for love. As in when people get married there is other factors to consider to like maybe the woman is pregnant. they want to start a family together. marriage isn't all about love, it is also about responsibility isn't it? i mean if a marriage is only about love, then how come there is a divorce. i hate it when people keep talking about love in this way, when they say they want to do something for love, because i always think that there is a hidden agenda behind it. it couldn't be only and solely for love could it? I m not trying to say that love is not important it a marriage, because without love there wouldn't even be a marriage, but love is not the only factor to a marriage. so i really hate it when people talk about love so likely. cos i think it is stupid, and they will most likely fail, cos if there is only love it won't work. So m i very materialistic or realistic to think that way? I don't think i m being realistic it thinking this way cos it is a fact.

Another example. recently someone told me she will only have kids because of love. honestly, it sounds a bit stupid to me once again. isn't it a bit naive to think that you will only have kids because of love. as in there must be other reasons y some ppl have kids. like due to accidents, want to keep the marriage together, family pressure. it is again naive to think that to have kids only because of love isn't it? of course once again without love there won't be children but well not the only factor ba.

Honestly at this age i don't believe i would fall head over heels in love with somebody. cos it is not possible. i m old liao. ahhahahha. And i really don't believe that anyone can just survive on love. I believe that the only kind of love that is pure and unconditional is a mother's love. well tat is sth i think i can promise at least. i really hate it when ppl treat love so lightly, always 把愛輕易的放在嘴邊. really hate that! unless you really can do it then say it, if not jus keep your mouth shut. love is not so easy. actions speak louder than words people who can really love, will not always talk about love, or mention love that easily. cos truly loving is really difficult. love is to think of others before yourself, seriously how many people can even do that. hate it when people jus foolishly keep giving thinking it is love. ok maybe that is wat truly love is. jus that i m unable to do that. ok maybe love isn't so difficult, it is just me. because i m a rather protective person of myself, so i would nv truly love..

Seriously, some people tell me they will truly love if they meet their ideal type. Isn't that already rather contradictory? like if that person is not your ideal type so you don't like him la? and you profuse that you can truly love somebody? don't make sense to me. I admit i might only love a person who is my ideal type because i m like they say xian shi. well at least i m being honest. People say that i m rather high maintenance. but i don't think so le.. as long as that person is sincere and i have feelings for him nothing else matters. sometimes would hear some of my frens say wa he like tat woo the girl v lousy, but it is not abt the method he used to win the girls heart it is wat he has tried to do to win it that is sincere and matters, so who cares about wat he did to woo her, as long as made the effort isn't that enough? ok this only applies to situation where the feelings are mutual. if not no matter wat he does he is jus being an idiot. I only have 2 criteria in a boyfriend le first is sincerity, next is feelings! so wat so hard about that. at least i m not materialistic and expect him to have a certain income or drive a certain car, but i do believe in 門當戶對. as in if he is not a degree holder, he must be hardworking and able to work better than me. to me 門當戶對 is not that i have a degree he must have one, they may be other stuff that he has that i lack. he has to be someone who has nearly the things that i have. so is that very hard to be fulfilled?

gosh after all this maybe it is just me with the problem. i think i tried to prove i m not xian shi, but failed to do so. i kind of proved that i m quite xian shi instead. hee.. ok i shall not try to defend myself. but honestly, when ppl say that i m xian shi, i would think they r naive. hahahha.. i always tot everyone feel the same way as me about love and stuff. well apparently not. but i don't want to be naive! don't whether it is because i m too xian shi, that's y i think they r naive. gosh.. i feel very puzzled now.. well all i can say is i think i m xian shi, but i m not materialistic. i think there is a difference to it. when those ppl who say i m xian shi, do they think i m materialistic too? is being xian shi equivalent to being materialistic? can anybody answer my question??

Yea the exams are over!

2008-06-10T22:03:00.002+08:00

Gosh.. longest time i had exam for. they are over at last!!!! Yes.. lots have happened recently.. making me feel very "unstable", in other words in a state of confusion.. feel very lost and empty now that exams are over for good honestly kind of prefer exams to working.. ok shall talk abt this later.. hahaha..

gosh last sun went to celebrate grandpa's bday. basically e family is divided into 2 political groups.. so ya.. like cos e 2 diff grps got grandchildren. which is basically my niece and nephews. which baby u carry shows ur loyalty to which political party.. hahahah.. actually they were kind of mean. didn't tell my big uncle abt e celebration. really think they r v childish.. afterall we r family. y argue and cause divide like that. in the end everyone jus felt uncomfortable gathering together. hai.. really don't know when it will blow over. since grandma died the family has been like that. sometimes i really hate my family. hate them so much that i feel like slapping sense into them! unfortunately the younger generation don't have a say in this. gosh..

Hee.. my niece is really cute.. just a yr plus learning how to walk and talk.. she is really very curious and would jus walk and follow ppl around. then she walk in a haphazard manner.. bumping into things and almost falling down in e process. she is the niece whom i mentioned that wouldn't cry, jus talk in baby language when u didn't feed her and stuff.. anyway when she bumped her head accidentally she didn't even cry but the bump seems loud and painful. and also when i carry her she tried to wriggle herself out to walk though she could barely walk. gosh i really want to have a kid. feel like kidnapping her.. she is so adorable!!!! Actually i can't understand married couples who decided not to have kids cos they want to enjoy life. I think i heard someone told me her fren don't want to have kids after marriage so that they can buy a car, afford more luxury. honestly wat fun is it to have everything in e world but without kids to share it with. honestly, i think it is very selfish to not have a kid jus cause u want to indulge in luxury. and i can't understand how anyone could feel that way. I think kids r catalyst that brings a marriage in place, when u have kids then in some sense it is truly a family. your children are the only people in e world u can love unconditionally without any reservations. honestly, couples breakup, even married couples, but it is the hardest thing to disown a child. someone whom a woman suffer to give birth to, undergo the difficult process of pregnancy and bringing a kid up is never easy.

Gosh today went to ktv with sl. really fun.. haven't gone out with her for a long time. as in though we meet in jap class to me it is not enough le. hahhahah.. not enough to really chat. the best time was staying at her hse can chat longer.. everytime after jap class, after warming up she have to go home le so sian. managed to sing a few jap songs.. can sing utada hikaru's flavour of life and ken hirai's qing pi shuang yan, can rmb e jap title. that ken hirai's song really make me have goosebumps all over the moment i hear it though i have heard this song for a million times. Anyway we chat was telling her i m v afraid of my future.. seems to me that everyone's impression of me is that i will be a career woman(nu qiang ren) i don't think i look like one le.. but a few of my frens told me i look like one. i think i will make a lot of mistakes at work then eq v low so no one will like or promote me.. maybe i m too domineering.. ahhahah.. gosh... honestly don't think i will succeed at work or at life or at anything.

gosh really worrying about my future.. met ppl who can't wait to stop studying to work. but honestly i don't like working at all. rather study all my life.. hahhhaa. in e past when i work i would always think that i can escape to studying, but now completely can't.. i hate that! some people have passion in life know wat they want. ppl like my sis. usually ppl who knows wat they want and work towards it would be able to get wat they want, but i m not that kind of person. this ppl have a passion in life and is living for it. this really makes me wonder wat m i living for? honestly if i were to die this second i would tell u i wouldn't miss anything. might miss my frens, but honestly nth is holding me back. i think u can only work for yourself, but i couldn't find a reason to work for myself at all. work for the money is pointless. u have money but might not have time to spend, to me as long as u have enough money it is enough, don't need to have too much, cos afterall u can't bring it into ur coffin with u. work for the status? i don't want to, when u climbed higher e ppl u meet r more insincere and at times it is really hard to put on a front, you would be too afraid to let anyone see your true self then, for fail that they will have known ur weaknesses and have things against you. honestly wat is there to work for? is there a future in anything. i wish i have kids! then i can say i m working for my kids for their future.. ahhahaha.. feel so empty not knowing wat i m working for. honestly don't want to work for the sake of working.

oh ya another thing i m very angry about is hrm. there is 3 essays to write during e exams. i spotted 3 topics, but only 2 came out. and i think hrm is really a subject where if u don't have e info no pt writing, cos u really can't crap. theory and case studies can't change no matter wat. anyway angry of myself. i told myself to study 4 topic b4 the exams but somehow i forgot or don't know wat happened to me la.. i didn't study. gosh it will badly affect whether i get 2nd lower or 2nd upper. gosh i hate it 2nd upper was so close that i could almost touch it, but now i can't cos i did badly. i rather i did badly for all then i would feel better. ok shall not curse myself!

anyway i m goin to whine about my life again.. really feel that my life jus ended so abruptly after i go to heaven i will soon go to hell.. hee.. gosh i really hate worrying for this stupid stuff! i really hate life!

绝对彼氏

2008-04-23T21:41:00.002+08:00

Gosh haven't update for so long. well actually nth much happened recently. went out last sat with my aunt's family to have dinner. they were celebrating mother's day. at first was quite reluctant to go. cos it is like my cousin who is celebrating for their mum. then y tag along. after that, realised they ask my mum, sis and i along cos their family is big enough to fill 2 tables. but if 2 tables can't finish all e food. so basically we were there to help them finish e food. hee.. but quite glad to c my niece and nephews. gosh my mischievous niece i still very mischievous. ahhahah.. played a weird clapping game with me, sth like monkey underwear guess what colour underwear the monkey wear. ahhahahha.. then when u say yellow spell Y E L L O W. then c whose hand get beaten. anyway i had a swollen hand after that game. ahhahahha.. My other niece will be 1 next mth gosh so fast. gosh soon she will learn to walk and i can't carry her any more.. gosh! i want to have kids!!! hahahha..

On mon went to jp for piano lesson. gosh e amt of ppl i bumped into at jp. bumped into sy at uob. was depositing cash. then she jus came walk in frt of me then left w/o seeing me, and i was there waving calling her name out. hahahhaha.. after that saw hq and his gf at ichiban. wanted to buy some sushi to eat. again i was in front of hq but he didn't c me till i tap his shoulder.. ahhahahah... gosh not my fault that i tapped u ok cos u didn't c me so i tap u hard! ahhahaha.. guess he was too busy talking to his gf. but seriously they look so sweet together!!! hahahhaha.. after that met samuel at e mrt station. he was with ryan that fren that i don't like very much. anyway ya.. i only been to jp for half an hour but managed to bump into pri sch fren, sec sch fren and jc fren. i nv knew jp was such a popular place to go to.. hahahha..

Bought utada hikaru's new album heart station. quite an 'easy listening' album. really like her. i know some ppl wonder y buy when u can download. but i don't know le. will treasure it more if u buy. furthermore some albums r worth supporting and buying. good music is always worth supporting. ok la i rarely buy cds, but bought 2 this yr khalil fong and utada hikaru. both were quite good, neither disappoint me.

Watching some jap drama recently. 绝对彼氏 really quite good. translated as absolute boyfriend. Is about a girl who is quite naive and innocent but don't have a boyfriend till her 20s. so a company making robots decided to let her try their new range of robots the absolute boyfriend. It is quite sweet and romantic. the boyfriend is like a knight will always save her at the crucial time, and will get jealous and angry. v cute!

Another one to watch is last friends. It got a strong cast of actors. Not as funny as zettai kareshi but well more serious drama. there is my fav ryo acting in it.. hahahha.. gokusen's rating is really high but i haven't watched it yet.

I hate the nights

2008-04-08T00:06:00.001+08:00

Gosh i suddenly feel so lonely! don't know y... gosh and i tot i was getting used to being lonely. maybe cos have been surrounded by only books these days. the only interaction i have with a human being is either through the com or through my mobile phone. the only real humans i interact with are kids! my tuition kids. gosh... suddenly feel so lonely that i feel like crying... should go to sleep soon. days don't feel as lonely as nights.

This is crap i will be fine tmr. hahahha..

out with neng peng and lay ping

2008-04-02T16:44:00.002+08:00

Last sat went to vivo with neng peng and lay ping. anyway lp was saying there was this jap restaurant where there is always a long queue.. hee.. so we decided to go there. after finding it for a long time it turns out to be sushi tei. hahahhaha... ok la.. sushi's tei food not bad. the ambience there was quite good oso. but i like en better.. hahahahah..

neng peng had paper steamboat. hee.. i started to tease her to faster eat her food or else the fire will burn e paper and her food will be gone.. hahahhaha.. the thing is she believed me! i told her i was jus kidding. e food is not bad. had sukiyaki. we had this cheese hotate thing quite nice. the soft shell crab was so so. it was quite fun talking to neng peng and lay ping. girls together really can talk about anything. gosh i destroyed sushi tei's menu. i sat on it accidentally.

anyway there is this waitress there who look totally like e jap teacher at jcs. gosh i jus wonder if it is her working part time.. hhahahha.. it can't be la.. anyway that girl can't speak much chinese and she really seems like a japanese! really like e jap teacher.. anyway her name tag was trainee.. so got no idea what her name is or else can find out if she is e teacher.. hahahhaha.. most likely she is not. but e resemblance is too striking.

gosh.. really busy! want exams to be over!!! hai.. can't get anything into my useless brain!

out out out

2008-03-18T22:13:00.002+08:00

went out with elin on thur.. had tuition then elin suggested having supper so we met at holland v for supper. had crystal jade porriage! e gong bao chicken really v nice!!!!! anyway we had a long supper. my mom tot i was kidnapped after tuition.. hahahah.. cos i forgot to tell her having supper with elin!

anyway fri went out shopping with elin. she had an eye infection so e doc advised her not to go sch. i think wat e doc meant was for her to stay at home. obviously that was not wat we tot, banned fr sch does not mean ban fr shopping. and not banned fr shopping means can go out shopping with amanda.. hhahahahah.. gosh b4 that she still told me her frens used her eyelash curler and mascara. then i say they might get sore eyes. instead i seem to be at a higher risk. hahahah.. ok la still haven't got sore eyes.

anyway ended up i bought a lot of stuff but elin didn't buy anything. it always happens that way..
Sat and sun i went to sl house to pei her.. hee.. really v slack at her place. suprising thing is i fell asleep quite immediately. anyway ok la.. can watch tv and chat all night. oh ya e funny thing is that sl have to go sch on sun. then i was still at her hm. so it is like i was alone at her home. it was so weird.. like it is my hm. play com, watch tv.

mon met elin for shopping again! at last she bought more things than me! yea!! hahahha.. but i oso got a shirt and shorts. happpy happy. gosh i might be goin broke soon.. but well, can't resist shopping.

celebration of yik bday last mon

2008-03-06T19:06:00.002+08:00

Last mon we went to celebrated yik bday at jp. it was jus a simple dinner. yum.. we had noodles at crystal jade! really delicious. then we went swensens to chat till swensens close.. yum.. i love swensens fries.. had fun chatting.

oh ya was kind of suai. at crystal jade yik's xiao long bao squirt juice at me. then on e train when i got off i realised my pants were wet (not because i peed in my pants) anyway ya e side of elin's cardigan was oso wet.. so disgusting!!! don't know which idiot squirt water on e seat. anyway ya... luckily it was on e way back..

recently watching this v long korean drama. i watched till like 100episode and e 2 character that i like r still not together! but it is really not bad.. can fast forward parts i don't like. but actually it is not those exciting kind. well basically it is a soap ba.. like jus watch for fun lor.. hee.. it is called likeable or not. really not bad.. gosh really hungry these days.. i need food!

fun and tired day

2008-03-02T14:31:00.002+08:00

yesterday went out with xy, j and sl. hahahah.. gosh wore heels, felt like my legs were goin to break. thank godness it is wedges. or else i would have bet i fallen a hundred times. really pei fu ppl who can go shopping in heels. all ur weight is on ur toes and xiao tui. really hurt like nuts.. i think i m goin to have cobveins. hahahhah.. i m jus being kua zhang. we had food at jack's place then jap desert at this jap place. v nice.

after that they came to my place to play mj. this sl always forget how to play. then after she know she keeps winning. at first she said it was boring, but i think after winning so many times she likes it ba.. j live jus opposite xin at west coast. since i think a bit unsafe for sl to go home, sl stayed overnight. we watched vcd overnight and chatted.. wa.. super tired now.. gosh prelims coming but seriously no mood to study.. feel so tired now. later still meeting elin and yik.. gosh would definately be stoning. hee..

out with teresa. and elin

2008-02-25T12:00:00.002+08:00

last sat was supposed to meet teresa after jap class. anyway accompanied sl to buy food. then we saw a stage. so wanted to kpo to c who it was.. happens to me fang da tong!!!! my fav singer.. ok and sl fav singer.. i really like his songs, e songs he writes r nice!! so we decided to wait for him and get his autograph. since e queue was not long either! yea.. really love e cd.. e songs really nice. after that was late meeting teresa.. hee.. we went imperial have zha jiang mien! my fav! anyway e guy sitting at e table beside us keep looking at us. e table beside us seems a bit snobby.. like they were regular and all e stuff greeted them then order lots of ex food. gosh.. but ya.. damn irritating...

yest met elin to go shopping. i was so absent minded... had tuition at 2 but tot it was 2.30pm. then was late.. anyway elin nv fail to amuse me.. hahahahhaha.. charles and keith had sale. so wanted to try a pair of high heel. then when i was asking for my size elin asked me wat my size was then i told her my size is 36, 37. size 5 or 6. then elin was shocked. cos my leg is smaller than hers when tall ppl r supposed to have bigger legs. the thing tat was amusing is that she got shocked! wat so amusing about that well, just that about this happen about 3 times le. wat i mean is, when we go shoe shopping she will always ask my size, then when she knows my size she will always get a shock. and her expression and wat she say is always the same. hahahaha.. she is acting like my shoe size is news to her, but in fact it is already old news!!!! she should have known it le.. hahahah.. when i was replying to her question in my heart i was thinking oh no not again, she forgot again, and she will be shocked again. and again elin didn't fail my expectation. ahhahaha.. so funny! gosh i think after this incident i can't laugh when we go shoe shopping again! ahhahahah....

anyway so happy bought lots of stuff.. but elin didn't buy anything again!!!! gosh! y m i e only one buying? hee..

lately

2008-02-18T17:18:00.002+08:00

so lazy to blog these days.. v tired.. hahahha... shall start fr my bday. well bday was boring as always.. seriously don't feel anything this bday.. like, so like that lor. hahahahha.. anyway went play majhong and i seriously had a v boring cny.. really don't like cny!!!

on e wk on cny on sun, minli sam alan and jia min came my place to play majhong. taught alan and minli how to play then we watched ratatoee.. i think got minli a bit addicted to it.. hahahah.. jiamin was already addicted to it.. hmm.. sam was his weird self again.. and well..

last fri went to had dim sum with elin.. we really ate a lot! as always.. hahahhah.. then on sat we went shopping bought lots of stuff.. really happy. went en eat again.. food super delicious! shall we go there for yik's bday??? hee.. yest went to celebrate my belated bday had jack's place and tcc.. it is really nice cheating with e ladies. i think we always do lame stuff.. ahhahahha.. but really nice talking to them. can't wait to meet up soon but everybody is busy.. so sad... i seem super free among them.. hahaha.. but i like being free. exams coming but i still feel hong xim.. gosh..

First times

2008-02-03T08:14:00.000+08:00

Recently thanks to my buddy experienced many first time.. ok shall mention this later in e story..

yest had tuition then jap class then meet my buddy. we were supposed to go shopping. she had to meet her poly frens before me.. anyway one of her poly frens is my sec sch fren which is joyce.. honestly so happy to c joyce.. i feel so extra la.. but fortunately her poly frens were quite nice.. quite easy to get along.. anyway buddy's bf was not free cos he had to help his fren w e bridal car or sth.. then well e moment buddy knew her bf was not coming she called e salesman to come drive us. which is wat he did... i think v bad le.. but shall not comment much about this now.

went to ps.. they accompany me to have dinner though they were rather full. we had lj. buddy keep saying c everyone accompanying me.. actually i m quite grateful to them for accompanying me.. but honestly if i didn't supposedly came to accompany buddy i wouldn't have to force them to have dinner with me. then buddy keep saying u c they so good all my fault honestly i was kind of pissed off by that statement. i could have not come.. but well i didn't say anything. she was jus teasing la.. can get used to it. maybe i was in a rather grumpy mood cos i was quite tired.

after that sm(salesman) brought me and buddy to the 70storey cafe at swiss hotel.. it was an eye opener.. but i seriously felt so extra... i think that guy a bit poor thing i mean he wooing her not me.. but have to keep paying for me.. i really felt so uncomfortable.. i think it kind of showed on my face.. cos they keep asking me if i m sian.. anyway it is an overpriced place like 25bucks per person and u drink juice.. the scenary was nice.. a very chic place.. but...

after that they drove me home.. his car is a 2nd hand bmw... it is wat 3 series.. then is a convertible. then when we were going home. he asked if we want to open e top. which is wat he did.. anyway ya... it is seriously not that fun to sit in a convertible.. i mean it seems cool and chic. but well ur hair gets super messy.. and cos my hair is so short it keeps hitting my face, then when he drive so quickly can't even open my eyes.. it is like those stupid movie where e wind keeps blowing that ur faced goes.. ai yo don't know how to explain..

now for my opinion.. it seems v glam rite v cool. but honestly i didn't felt the least bit happy, and i was not enjoying it at all. i like e thrill of enjoying something new. and i m very glad with this experience, cos it made me understand a lot of things about myself. i know this sounds a little exaggerating.. but it is true.. a lot of thoughts were running in my head when all this happen..

firstly, i understand that it is not the place, it is the people you r with that makes the place fun and enjoyable. I wouldn't say i understand this today, but this incident reinforces this understanding.. Secondly, I will nv enjoy goin to these places.. it is an eye opener, but i felt that no matter who i go with i won't feel happy here, it feels too chic for a "country bumpkin" like me. i couldn't understand e loud music, i mean u r yelling at each other till u get hoarse. Thirdly, i will lead a "cursed life" i will nv marry rich.. hahaha.. i will most likely not get married, anyway that's not the point. The point is i don't like this kind of lifestyle. I know wat u r thinking u don't have to be rich to go to this places, but it is not that.. i don't like the lifestyle i seriously hate it. actually this is again sth i understood when i was 15 when i attended this indo chinese bday party at a hotel.. seriously the conversations were super shallow. i felt that u didn't have to bring a brain nor a mouth along, u jus need to know how to nod ur head. hahahaha.. buddy keep praising herself said tat if it was not her i would not be able to come to these chic places w/o paying. it is not about coming to this place, it is about who i come with. i don't think she understand that.

Anyway i don't know wat buddy is doin.. she knows she have a bf, and well this guy is obvious to everyone that he is wooing her.. but seriously i asked her if she like her bf more or this guy more. she replied this guy can give her more than her bf.. but i asked if she had an feelings for him she said not really. honestly, i like her bf.. as in if these 2 ppl were to be compared i like her bf more and m rooting for him.. hahahaha... this guy is rich can bring u to places u nv been to. but he is 37, v obvious, he is not after u because of feelings. his expression doesn't says so. i mean he is 37 jus broke up with his gf. the thing is he doesn't even look sad or he doesn't even pretend to be sad that he jus broke up with his gf. wat does that says about him? he is hiding his feeling? no lor i don't think so. it jus says that he is a player and enjoy dating ppl, enjoys the thrill of the chase. ok in this case i really don't know who is playing who. but playing with fire might get ur hands burnt. shi jie shi yuan de, What goes around comes around.

In the car they were discussing y some guys so fan jian (fan jian is in my own words) to chase after girls that have bf.. the guy said it takes two hands to clap.. if the girl didn't show that she is interested, she wouldn't go out with him.. then my buddy said, in e first place y did he chased her.. he said cos he felt feelings and guys r usually testing e waters to c if this girl will really leave her bf.. then my buddy asked if she really leaves her bf then won't that guy get worried that he will leave him one day for another guy.. which is so true i guess.. i mean if he could do it to her he would do it to u too.. it is jus a matter of time. anyway then e guy ask if it really happens whose fault do u think it is.. she said nobody's fault. then i said.. everybody's fault.. u jus don't want to feel bad so say nobody's fault. but she said feelings hard to say.. in my heart i was thinking this is not feelings it is jus materialism. i mean u admitted u don't have feeling for him and is jus using him, u enjoy getting to go high class plc, but wat abt ur bf.. i know ppl always say in a relationship u can't judge.. is that e reason y ppl r allowed to do stupid things to hurt others.. it seems so morally wrong to me.

anyway she said she haven't felt sad over a guy b4.. nv cried for them she ask if i think she is unfeeling. and i said yes.. i said she is too materialistic liao ( i said xian shi) she keep saying that she is practical. honestly there is a fine line between materialism and being practical. practical is not wearing a hat that doesn't fit (zi zhi zhi ming), materialism is putting on a head that u know will nv fit. Seriously mei you na ma da de tou jiu bu yao dai na me da de mao.

she asked us if we think she is really bad.. she said ppl always tell her she will meet her match she will get hurt by a guy one day.. she said she thinks she will rot in hell. i think i quite bad, i said u don't have to wait that long karma strikes back very quickly. ahhahahaha.. then she say ya lor everyone thinks she will suffer some retribution soon. hahhaha..

honestly i m seriously disgusted by this sort of ppl. though she is my buddy i have to say this. i really think this ppl sld jus go rot in hell or suffer fr a fate worst that death. honestly, i have a feeling my buddy felt proud of herself that she is such a player. and most likely think that ppl who dislike her thinking r jealous of her cos they wan bu qi. but seriously when i c this kind of ppl whether the girl or guy i jus feel disgust and anger. I mean they seems stupid to me, u think u r so smart or such a good player? u r jus being played.. anyway this ppl really sld jus rot in hell.. hahahaha.. gosh i m angry but i can't explain y. i really hate unappreciative ppl. i mean have a bf who accepted u when u cheated on him twice. though some ppl might think the bf is an idiot, which to some extent is true, because regardless girl or guy if he or she can cheat on u once they will definitely cheat on u many times more. that's y i will nv accept a love with flaws, that's y i m so picky. i rather stay single then be with a bastard.

actually she cheated on her bf twice. then when e guy asked her y she is out with him on e sly.. then she said cos her bf is too tough on her.. so she must sneak. in my heart i gave a cold laugh (len xiao) and was thinking of course la u cheated twice. then she said if he is not that strict she wouldn't do that. but the thing is wat being not strict has done to him?! anyway so contradicting. the worst thing is she doesn't feel any guilt. jus think it is fun. and have excuses to justify them (to her it is reasons to me excuses) it is so funny listening to every excuse to counter ur action. i mean though u have lots of excuses it doesn't make things morally right at all. so don't be dumb.

gosh too many things r running thru my head right now.. i must discuss with ppl about this to get the thoughts running right.. it is like i have a lot to say, but i can't say it out properly. anyway this is a case to case basis la.. ahahhaha.. means i might feel this way for her situation but if someone else is in this situation i might think otherwise. the thing is u know e ppl involved so it is easy to judge.

k with ming, lp... Shopping w buddy...

2008-02-02T01:16:00.000+08:00

Last thur went kbox with ming and layping.. hahahha.. really fun.. wm jus keep singing old andy lau songs which i nv heard b4.. goes out of tune a few times and screaming e rest of the time... hahhaha.. really entertaining. nice experience.. but my throat really dry.. hahahhaha.. anyway wm still bought 6 bottles of water.. kua zhang lor! me and lp were more normal we sang songs that got hear b4 de.. hahahhaa..

Yesterday went shopping with buddy.. technically it is today.. this time her bf was not tagging along somehow managed to shake him off.. ahahhah.. but well another guy appeared.. my ex colleague a sales guy who drives a bmw which have only 2 doors and freaking hard to get in.. anyway tat was not e pt.. shall share that story later. we went bugis to trim eyebrow.. i personally think e trimming so so only cos didn't pluck jus shave, so will grow back fast lor.. then went vivo. i saw a topshop bad that i like v much but cost $109... it is v ex for a small bag. anyway i didn't managed to buy anything.. oh ya b4 that i braved e rain to collect my ck prize.. was not bad. a perfume a body lotion and a bag!!

ok about e guy.. e guy is a 37 yr old. oh sorry he was 37 last yr.. which makes him 38 this yr.. i don't know if i even mentioned my co feng shui is super bad.. as in 4 married couple got involve with each other... then 2 marriages have children involved.. like wat the hell. what is e world turning too.. so this 38 yr old guy jus broke up with his gf recently.. and i have a feeling is wooing my fren or interested in her.. i mean which ordinary guy fren will jus go drive this girl fr one place to another w/o any strings attached. i have to say this guy is quite a gentlemen.. but i think is partly bcos he is so old and have experience in wooing girls ba.. actually this guy as a fren ok.. as in acquittance ok.. he is too insincere to me.. if it is between he and my fren's current bf my fren's current bf will be better. ya la.. anyway tuo da de fu went to mount faber in a bmw got treated to drinks.. but i seriously felt awkward.. wish i was invisible!! then have to help lie to her bf.. no matter wat i will help her. but her bf is a nice guy.. felt a bit guilty..

I seriously hate guys who sweet talk! ok la.. as in.. i think sometimes they r v stupid.. they think we r xiao mei mei is it? v easy to pian.. anyway sweet talk is useless lor... u think i don't know u treat every girl like that de ma.. anyway since u r playing i shall play along lor.. hahahah.. anyway this is a very bad tactic.. and if u do that too often girls jus label u as a "bu shi hao ren".. hahahah...

My sister keepers

2008-01-30T21:55:00.001+08:00

Really really great book by jodi picoult.. made me tear, though i didn't cry.. it is about a parents with a daughter with leukemia when she was 3. hence they decided to go through artificial insemination to have another daughter who is thus able to provide bone marrow for her dying sister. anyway it is about the youngest daughter, when she grew up and had to give a kidney to her sister decided to sue her parents for rights of her own body. shall not say too much or else it is gonna be a spoiler.. finished it in 2 days...

it is really touching, about sibling rivalry for attention, the love for each other.. i think sisters knows how's having a sister like. i think sisters and brothers relationship r really diff.. sis is like ur best fren and yet ur worst enemy.. hee.. seriously having a sis is like having a lover! u have e worst fights but yet e most fun and happiness tgth.. ok i wouldn't go to e extent of saying my sis is my best fren, but well at least we do confide in each other...

today get bullied by my tuition kids again!!!! they keep poking my ribs and tickling me.. ai yo i m really lousy.. somemore 2 of them tgth one stay guard e other attack.. hahahahhaha... gosh i m so easy to bully..

feel so frustrated! so many things to do so little time... shall not complain abt e postman today hee..

Shopping shopping and shopping

2008-01-24T17:57:00.000+08:00

gosh... haven't blog for quite awhile.. last fri went shopping with buddy.. hee.. a buddy tagged along.. guess i m too used to it.. no feeling being lightbulb.. so funny la.. go shopping with them for boxers for her bf.. then e both of us stupidly wonder if it is female boxer or male boxer when her bf already knew... gosh then know there was so much knowledge in shopping for that.. anyway didn't manage to buy anything.. jus heard buddy complained abt sam all day long.. hee.. really don't know wat to react to do or say.. anyway quite fun.. her bf really nice always drive me home after shopping if he is driving.. they look really sweet together.. hope they can be together for long...

last sat went to causeway after jap class to look at tvb artiste.. really lot of ppl.. got bosco, kevin, myolie, shermaine and ou yang zheng hua (bobby) and wang xi.. hahhahaha.. bobby really funny e host asked him if how many times has he been to sg.. he said been here since black and white tv.. zheng jia yin looked really weird in person.. his face really v tight.. then his eyebrow super thick.. he looks like he had on a lot of makeup.. but he is still good looking la.. bosco looks so small in person.. but really cuter and more handsome. myolie looks thinner in person and she is super tall lor.. really pretty... wang xi was a bit scary with moustach.. cos e host announced bosco bobby and wang xi on stage, then i told my fren e host anyhow announce don't c wang xi at all.. ahhahhaha.. anyway it was fun la..

last mon went shopping with elin.. e two gluttons ate a lot again.. ahhahaha.. i think e reason y we eat so much is cos we r born in e yr of e cow.. so got 4 intestine.. but cow only like to eat grass le.. we eat everything which make us seem more like pigs.. hmm.. hahahhaha... anyway elin bought a nice dress v her style.. i bought a top and sth else i can't rmb wat though. oh and a pair of shoes.. hahahah.. everytime supposed to pei her go shopping in e end buy more than her.. but really nice shopping with her.. we went bugis street but didn't get anything in e end again.

recently been watching a few shows.. ye man nai nai II is quite nice.. v funny.. But i strongly reccommend this jap drama the one pound gospel! really funny! ok it is kind of cheesy.. but i like it.. about a glutton boxer who is always trying to lose weight to qualify for e lightweight competition. everytime he faints on e rink jus call out a few food names and he would be awake.. he is in love with a nun, sis angela, and he is trying to trick her to be his gf.. v corny storyline but v entertaining!!! e guy is so kawaii!!!!

gosh com is down again!!! really hightime to buy a new one.. but recently trying to save up for my sis to go aus to study.. can't spend that much.. as in neng shen je shen.. i think my sis laptop is quite old if she goes there i think will need to buy a new one.. so maybe can leave this old one behind for me... hai.. don't really want to worry about money saving here and there.. i always feel e best way is to earn money not save money cos it is impossible to save anything. and saving is honestly too hard for me.. i will feel really pathetic if i save on every little thing, like saving on food. i mean not like i m poor or anything.. y must i live this kind of life.. i want to be richer.. i want to earn more money.. but earning too much is not good too. cos it might mean no time to spend it.. gosh i jus hope i have more money.... won a calvin klein body lotion.. yipee..

shopaholic amanda and elin.. some thoughts..

2008-01-13T02:33:00.000+08:00

had jap class.. elin called me during class but i didn't ans.. anyway she tot i was sleeping.. when i got hm and msn then realised she wanted to ask me out shopping..

hahahha.. imagine at 6pm.. then we arrange to go shopping. then girls go shopping v ma fan de.. must makeup, eat dinner(hahaha.. that is me hungry amanda) hahaha.. we actually couldn't have much of shopping but we still went.. bought a pair of jeans, skincare and stuff.. we went to this place at mohammed sultan road this jap restaurant.. food was super good lor! i think we really eat a lot.. had good fun chatting.. hee.. had a souchou with ume.. really great tasting

today heard some bad news.. feel kind of sad.. maybe it is e late nite plus e teary mild cleansing oil.. hahahha.. making me super teary.. don't say i kua zhang i really feeling v emo.. so sad.. anyway i doubt the person will read this, but i jus want to wish e best to him. gosh i can't imagine it.. he must be super sad now and to think a few weeks ago he was so happy.. how can it be! he is supposed to be the one happy in this clique! y is his happiness so short lived.. but i think it is short but good ba.. like william shakesphere said to love before is better than nv to have love at all... don't know wat to say to console him.. jus want him to know that there is lots of fren out there who cares and not jus abt knowing e gossip and stuff.. who will feel sad when he is down.. gosh.. y did he have to write things so sadly!!! idiot! hahahha.. shouldn't scold him since he is down! gosh gosh i really don't know wat to say! good luck seems lame, a better one in e future seems even lamer.. gosh wish u have lots of white blood cells to quickly heal e wound in ur heart! i hope that sounded ok..

out with teresa again.. hee..

2008-01-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

today we went central.. nv been there b4 so go look look.. really v big but nth to buy at all. hee.. after that we went to this jap ice cream place.. i saw this bowl of soup looks delicious.. then wanted to have it.. though i jus had pepper lunch and added a bowl of rice fr teresa. hee.. anyway turns out e soup is with udon! i didn't read e menu properly! then cos e pic so nice so order le.. hee.. ahh... was so full la.. but e udon was not bad similar to e one i had at waraku.. so somehow i managed to finish it. then still had a big bowl of ice cream desert.. i really felt like i jus had a buffet.. have 2 bowl of rice then go some jap restaurant wanting to have desert ended up having udon and ice cream.. ai yo..

anyway really many funny things happened when i m out with teresa it was like after i had e udon teresa said don't know whether e person will serve out desert w/o asking.. then e person really came.. teresa mouth v suai.. everytime say sth, e thing will come true.. then she said yest jo asked abt me then after a few seconds i appear in frt of her.. she say i v chang ming.. don't know wat it means.. i supposed some sort of superstition where e person nv dies.. cos everytime someone talk abt them they will appear.. hahahah...

oh ya marina square really not a bad place to shop.. their zara and topshop have things that other places don't have cos more secluded.. then some shops at level 2 have really cheap clothes.. like pasar malam price. saw a pair of shoes at zara.. v good quality at 39.90 which i think is ok, but don't have my size.. a bit tight.. i recently bought a tight shoe and realised loose shoe is better than tight shoe..

teresa was super nice to me.. always giving me nice stuff and she helped me carry my bag today.. cos had tuition after that.. then had 4 assessment bks in my bag.. so she help me carry all e way fr central to marina.. it was super heavy la.. wa.. i really love her.. but i think i bully her too often must treat her nicer.. she is really like my younger sis.. i bet she was e baby who got swop with my sis.. hee.. jus kidding.. i love my sis too..

reservation road, piano

2008-01-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

Went to pay exam fees.. super costly.. anyway met guan hui minli's fren. anyway after that since we r in town decided to watch a movie. we watched reservation road.. good storyline but well.. shall elaborate on e experience..

when we got into e cinema it is like quite empty.. then there were lots of old ppl.. a bald old man stared at me cos i was talking during e ads.. hello uncle it is jus e ads. then in e middle of e movie a man was snoring.. hahahha.. he was snoring so loudly that e person in frt of him told him to shut up in a subtle manner.. i think their conversation was like can u keep ur sound down.. u r snoring too loudly.. hee..

gosh really artistic movie.. abt a hit and run accident. a 10yr old boy get killed and his father is looking for e murderer turns out e murderer is someone he knows. as he can't contain his anger and grief, he seeks for vengeance and tried killing e murderer. e murderer is full of guilt, and so e guy decided to forgive him.

sl sis goin to aus to study.. i think sl seems a bit sad.. as in she will be lonely when her sis is gone. gosh.. lucky her.. i oso want to go overseas to study.. it is like life is so monotonous now.. it is so scary la.. like when i m doin my math assignment don't even need to think de.. like a robot writing down entries automatically.. don't even need to count jus use calculator.. it is like ok la.. shall not complain... i mean boring is a good thing in some sense rite? my sis want to go overseas to study too.. but mum doesn't seem keen on that idea.. too expensive.. hai.. it is always abt e money.. hate being tied down bcos of money..

v sad.. today get scolded by my piano teacher.. she says i m improving too slowly.. which is very true. cos i practice little and started comparing me with her other student.. gosh... m i supposed to be motivated to improve.. anyway there is this thing abt e flexibility of my hand e weight i m not using right.. she teach me for so long until she say she don't know how to teach liao.. but i seriously don't know how to exert e right weight.. as in fr e right place.. no matter how hard i try.. it is not that i don't want to do it it is jus that i can't do it.. gosh i want to do it more than anyone else! so sad la.. don't know how i can improve e condition... it is like learn piano for so long liao but still can't exert e right force..

oh ya.. this is a gd yr to keep in contact with ppl.. sl in contact with her pri sch fren.. while i m in contact with strangers.. hahaha.. not really strangers la.. a person i heard a lot abt but know nth abt.. sounds a bit contradictory but well

vivo is too big. got lost there..

2008-01-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

went to vivo today with teresa. didn't buy a lot of things. just that watson having 20percent so i bought a bottle of sunblock and a moisturiser.. damn.. i already have 4 bottles of moisturisers.. but really can't help buying skincare. went daiso and bought lots of food. hahahahha.. bought lots of candy at candy empire.. i realised yik is right.. i will nv run out of things to buy.. gosh.. though i have everything liao.. it is seriously scary.. i didn't use to be like that.. wat is happening to me?? maybe e wallet monster.. shit.. someone sld jus lock me at hm. oh no.. then i will go online to buy things. i think someone sld jus lock me up in e toilet or sth.

oh ya vivo's toilet really stinks.. hahahah... anyway e place really too big keep getting lost.. i like e 3rd level outside thing though.. kids can play water but a bit scary walking there at night.. almost stepped into a pool by accident cos too dark i can't differentiate whether it is floor or water.. maybe i m jus blind la. went marche to have dinner.. e crepe was not as nice as e one i had a few years back.. really fufilling dinner.. hee..

was quite fun chatting with her.. it is amazing that i have known her for like 2 yrs liao.. we started out as colleagues who would guess we would still be this close.. i mean now that we r not working tgth nth in common to talk abt.. furthermore she is e quiet kind.. i guess it is fate ba.. like some ppl r jus fated to be ur fren. i m quite glad to have a fren out of a colleague..

last nite me and elin a bit siao.. we started planning for our old age.. hahahahha.. really funny.. i can jus imagine it.. seriously so happy to have them as frens.. at least when i m old i will have someone to talk to..

recent happenings

2007-12-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

last wed went cycling with xin, sl, joyce.. it was quite fun.. hahha.. but we really cycled really fast.. e weather was super nice. we had a v tight schedule.. hahaha.. i don't know y, but we were like cycling really quickly to the takeoff point, then back, cos we don't want to be late to return e bikes.. gosh, my thigh muscles really hurt.. hahahah.. after that we went joo chiat to explore, katong area. seriously i m really a sua ku.. nv been there.. we had tao pok bao.. really cool and nice.. then we had dinner with rita, shuqiang, sy and mh.. it is like e whole day we were eating. we ate when we first reached e place then eat again at mac after cycling, then katong then dinner.. hahahha.. dinner we had a five course korean meal.. really nice! and get to eat a lot pay not that much cos so many ppl were eating.

so funny, we say let's go into that restaurant cos there is a pic of rain outside. if it is good for rain it sld be good enough for us, then xin blurted out which one is rain then she said that guy doesn't look like rain.. then if he doesn't look like rain who he looked like? hahahha.. so funny.. we teased mh who have slimmed down say her frt part oso slim down le. hahahha..

after that we went ah chew for dessert. sl had skim milk papaya. then she say after go hm must massage then someone say mh need it more.. ahhahaha... gosh e whole time we were jus eating la.. which is terrible. ahhahah.. then don't know y our schedule v tight everyone v kan qiong.

Last sat met elin, yik and xw for dinner. me and elin went shopping. yik asked me y i nv run out of things to buy. honestly i don't know either.. v impulsive lately can jus spend money w/o thinking... dinner was fun.. but i was subjected to incessant teasing. no idea y.. hai.. their latest target not here.. so i was targeted! real fun meeting them.. but not a v fulfilling trip cos we usually stay till later.. but well there is always next time. jus don't know when next time will be..

today went out with my colleague daphne and kelly to shop.. i got a pair of shops which i like a lot! hahaha.. it is my fav colour blue! v tired..

v moody lately.. i feel kind of hollow.. don't know how to explain..i really feel happy with them, but i feel so hollow when i get back home... it is like a sad song can jus trigger tears flowing freely.. it is so scary.. i don't like this.. not being able to ctrl my emotions.. maybe it is e new year! i hate new years.. y do they even say happy new year.. it is not even happy. i wish time would stop now.. i don't want all e good times to end. there might be more good things to come.. but i jus feel satisfied with all e good memories i have now.. i don't want time to move...i hate this time of e yr.. u can only relish e past.. ahh.. maybe it is jus pms.. hahhaha..

oh ya i saw a rainbow yest!!! hee.. first time after many yrs.. i remember when i was young i made a wish that i will get a dollhouse on christmas and i got one. that is e only prez i remember having fr my dad.. e memory is pleasant and yet painful. cos it was e first prez and e only prez i remember.. hahaha.. but i believe in e power of the rainbow.. hahhaha.. really pretty.. too bad a camera couldn't really take it down...

merry christmas!!!

2007-12-25T01:02:00.001+08:00

hahaha.. had to work half day today.. it was kinda weird.. cos everyone received prez except me today.. honestly i didn't care.. but it feels a bit awkward.. as in my other colleague gave ppl stuff then nv give me.. they were like looking at my expression. c if i were unhappy or watever.. but honestly didn't know wat expression to give.. hahahha..

went out with teresa last sat shu ku with her abt sth.. anyway shopped again! terrible.. i was supposed to accompany her shopping not to go shopping with her! in case ur don't know wat it means. it means i sld have jus watch her spend money not spend money with her.. ahhahahhaha.. Went tcc.. i really like that place ambience really great.. and though it was a sat night it was v empty so can sit as long as u want..

exchanged prez w teresa.. hahaha.. she bought e thing tat i told her i want. elaine bought me a prez too.. this is a surprising christmas.. have more prez than expected..

I m resigning super soon.. next mon last day.. can't wait... don't know if e friendship i have built up with buddy can be maintained.. hopefully it can.. recommending sam there.. oh no hope it goes well..

had a christmas phone call fr sam at 9.45pm.. he really understands me so well. he guessed that i was at home waiting for e 10pm movie, no1 to go out with.. hahahahha.. gosh that's e brutal truth isn't it.. hahahha.. actually really hate goin out on christmas eve.. and ya.. tv is my best fren.. ahhahahahha.. oh no i sound like a pathetic loner.. hahahahha.. got a christmas card fr lp.. quite nice.. don't know where e card is sent by john.. asked for my address abt one mth ago, but e card is nowhere in sight. had a few xmas msg fr close frens! thanks everyone.. merry christmas! may all ur wishes come true! i do hope mine come true too.. hee...

Christmas with minli and sam

2007-12-22T12:17:00.000+08:00

met up with minli and sam yesterday... it was quite fun.. we were always eating and talking.. hahahaha...

first we went to ichiban boshi.. stupid sam was super late la.. then me and minli chat.. cos we had a 1 table thing and beside us was a couple, there wasn't place for sam to sit. so when he came he had to sit beside me and e couple.. hahahhaha.. u sld have see the couple's face.. feel so disrupted.. like they were already sitting near to this 2 noisy girls, then sam came and e guy have to sit beside another weird guy, so ruin their ambiance.. hee...

Sam was late for a reason he baked us cookies.. was quite touched! so he is forgiven. he made e box of e cookies himself too!!! then inside was a picture of us. hahahha.. but e stupid thing is he wrote on our faces merry christmas.. hahahahah... i didn't even notice that it was a pic of us.. until that nite when minli's sis jiamin came.. jiamin was like y u write on them.. hahahahha...

after that we accompany sam shopping.. hahahah.. he modeled for us.. and managed to buy nice clothes.. hee.. we later went coffee club where we talked a lot.. again.. it was really fun and funny.. i m always squabbling with sam.. hahahha.. we talked abt how we started becoming close frens in pri sch. u know wat sam used to be ostracize and everybody hated him. then we tried escaping him.. hahahah.. but in e end we got sick of escaping him.. so we became good frens! hahahahha.. ya he has been weird since young.. gosh but too used to his weirdness.. i really feel that he is like my little bro.. whom i want to protect fr e bullies.. i love him for his eccentrics. it is really hard to understand la... i know definately not in love with him and no possibility at all.. but well he is jus family to me.. introducing him to work at mini.. gosh so afraid he will be bullied and can't take it.. but well he has to grow up one day...

realised minli's bf is alan... felt kind of happy and yet weird.. hahahha.. cos they got together real recent. and it is her first bf! congrats. me and sam ought to buck up, but definately not together.. hahahahah..

oh i dreamt of elin last nite. i dreamt i was talking to her guess i have a lot to say to her.. hope she comes back fr china and contact me soon!!! gosh gosh really kind of miss her..

Christmas time is the time for fun!

2007-12-21T11:59:00.000+08:00

Gosh haven't updated for so long.. too busy meeting up with ppl...

Anyway last sun, mh was back fr aus.. so we went holland v together.. we went settlers.. anyway before that we had ipoh hor fun... gosh our outings r always so much fun.. chat like crazy.. i think i really have a too loud voice.. everyone was complaining i was too loud..

after that we went settlers... The last time i went there was with elin yik and hq.. hahahah.. we played some of e same games like taboo.. i realised elin yik r really good at taboo.. cos my sec sch fren and i like in a min only 3 cards.. then we played games like smack... this time is it got same card must ring the bell.. then it was like girls really know how to snatch then everyone reaction really fast.. my hand had a blueblack got the bell mark!!! e last time we played with hq and yik and elin, only elin and i were in e game. yik was sleepy body and hq is a guy so don't know how to snatch things.. hahahahha...

we exchanged prez.. it was a surprise cos no1 know who is goin to get wat fr who.. hahahah.. anyway really happy cos i got sth i like.. i knew it! i knew sl was buying for me.. had e feeling.. hahahhaha..

last tue, me sl and huji went for dinner and a movie.. huji brought us prez.. it was so unexpected.. anyway was plesantly surprised.. but we didn't get anything for her so we treated her to dinner and e movie.. we went to watch mr magorium wonder emporium.. super nice.. v cute and funny, though a little childish. actually huji is our ex colleague fr sakae.. honestly didn't have much to say to her.. hmmm... diff environment liao.. and she is oso not a talkative person..

Last wed, mini had a bbq.. anyway e lucky draw was v lame.. e top prize is wine then e rest chocolate.. ai yo.. but better than nth.. the food was ok la.. saw the super big boss.. my gosh his wife super younger.. imagine he is a lot older than my father but his wife is a lot younger than my mom.. then her daughter look like a pri sch kid.. gosh gosh.. rich ppl really can have young wife.. hee.. anyway his daughter was carrying a lv bag!!! i couldn't even afford one! gosh... hahhaha.. actually sth funny happened during the photo taking session.. hahahah.. me being the glutton as always was eating when they wanted to take a picture.. anyway i was eating beef and beef as u know is a tough meat.. when they were goin to take e pic i hid behind this santa clus looking colleague, so that they wouldn't photo me eating anyway i had trouble tearing e meat.. i tried with all my strength but it was impossible to tear it.. then i couldn't possibly spit it out now.. so i stuff e whole piece of beef in my mouth.. hahahha.. i tot nobody see me tearing the beef cos i was hiding my colleague, but apparantly someone saw hahahah.. and told everyone.. not my fault ma beef hard to bite!

yest went out with teresa... quite fun shopping.. i bought more things that i predicted.. gosh.. don't ask me how much i spent.. it is a terrible month! i can't stop spending money!!! hee.. anyway quite fun to be with her..

events

2007-12-13T00:35:00.000+08:00

last last tue went to watch se jie with minli and her fren. it was quite a nice movie intriguing storyline, nice background music, pretty actresses. first r21 movie i watched.. but it was ok la.. v artistic. i was not as high as minli abt e sex scenes. as in it was jus art to me, not much feelings apart fr that. it was nice being with her.. though i got lots more to talk abt to her.

jus now went to have steamboat with elin, xw, hq and yik. me and elin went shopping b4 meeting them.. gosh spent lots of money!!! my pocket got hole liao. actually i really wish now wouldn't end... cos it is like now student and working can buy a lot of things i want, can pon work whenever i want and not feel burdan. i can't imagine when i go out to work. work everyday.. my life will jus be grey. even if i have money to spend i won't have fun cos my frens might not have e time to spend with me in e future.. gosh... really feel my life getting more and more grey. but watever la.. jus life well know. watever e future will bring jus let it come.

anyway v fun at e steamboat.. we were teasing each other.. ok more like i was being teased.. but the happy entity beside me is too strong. make me so high la! feel so happy for it(it because i don't want to say whether it is a he or she. later he she scold me for broadcasting news, though it is unlikely that he/she would read this since he/she is too busy dating) gosh really feeling happy for it.. it is like bubbling with happiness and e happiness is drowning everybody.. jus want to say congrats.. really happy for u. u r a good person and deserve someone good. not that i m a bad person, jus that my good person haven't appear yet.. gosh self praising again.. hahahhaha.. anyway, a little envious. but envy takes only 1 percent, happiness takes 79percent and kaponess takes up 20percent.. hahahahahahaha... ok ok too delirious with happiness that i m starting to say weird things

activities lately

2007-12-02T10:07:00.000+08:00

last sat i went for a ipsa makeup workshop... oh it was quite dramatic.. as in before that... I woke up that early morning around 6 cos my head was spinning.. then i had sudden stomach cramps then i went to take medicine. then i started vomitting e medicine out.. it was like v scary my head keep spinning keep having double vision then vomit medicine and stomach cramp.. i tot i was goin to faint or sth. then after that i had milo and i felt much better.. hee.. milo is miracle drink. cos after drinking it i was so energetic and my head stopped spinning... i think my period was coming so i felt super unwell not enough blood so after milo had blood.. hahahaha...

oh about e makeup workshop it is at carlton hotel. then basically all e ppl were quite elderly. elderly as in not senior citizens. but well jus working career ladies. then we were like kids.. anyway i was quite terrible at makeup e lady keep having to help me touch up.. hahahha.. actually didn't learn much.. it was more like they were there to sell their products.. but ok la.. i think their products not bad. after that i went shopping with sl.. bought quite a lot of stuff..

last fri went out shopping with my buddy.. didn't get much though.. gosh in e end her bf drove us to have prata then drove me home. i think i m quite terrible v used to being gooseberry e thing is i don't really feel uncomfortable playing gooseberry.. hahahahah..

then yest minli had her bday celebration at raffles hotel. had buffet.. e food was great! anyway got lost finding e place.. as usual, i got lost.. ahhahahaha.. met minli's sec sch and poly frens.. it was quite fun as in e food was great. hahahah.. i got lost at e toilet though. i couldn't find e toilet.. then after i did i went to e male toilet by accident. upon entering it i realised sth was wrong.. hee.. it was too dark there!!! and i couldn't c e signs not my fault! hee.. in this life have accidentally stepped into e male toilet far too many times.. ahhahahha

after that, me, minli, guan hui, and alan went out to watch a movie. sam as always abandoned me for his other frens.. we watched enchanted.. it was quite fun knowing new ppl. guan hui is minli's sec sch fren, but i found her really familiar. it turns out that she is fr e same jc and is fr sim too. no wonder she looks familiar. realised that we have common frens too.. singapore is so small. we watched enchanted which was a super great movie. v fairy tale and funny.. hee... after that me, alan and minli went to e balcony for drinks. they checked our id at e door. ordered a non alcoholic drink cos i seriously can't drink. had jus a sip of minli's mango martini and started feeling hot and dizzy.. hahahahah v terrible.. get drunk super easily. thank godness i didn't ordered a whole glass full of alcoholic drinks. anyway hahahha e 3 of us were really bored don't know where to go we jus didn't want to go home but got no place to go either.. so we went to coffee bean... saw zheng qi!!!! hee... i didn't notice he was dare was super shocked to c him.. don't ask me y.. anyway he was with some hot babes again. hahahah... and ya.. his first question was really funny asked me wat i was doin here.. then i really didn't know how to reply i said goin out with my frens la.. ai yo.. such a weird question. isn't it obvious. he said i changed a lot and haven't seen me in a yr.. then i told him not so kua zhang like we met each other on cindy's bday ma.. fr then till now only half a yr not possible for me to change much. i think maybe it is my new hair la... that zq asked me if there is a christmas party this yr then i say don't know. then he ask me to go say i will get best dressed again. so pai seh!!! y mention it in frt of my frens!!!! ok la.. ai yo.. don't know la..

i think everyone v xiao ti da zuo abt my hair. as in everyone keep asking me if i m in love or sth then it is like they forcing u to say yes.. when i say no they will ask me again.. ai yo... jus a haircut wat... don't make such a big fuss can? everyone thinks i m in love or sth change a lot... i think i grew older these past few days.. hee... oh ya can't wait to meet up with elin and gang.. haven't seen them for v long.. though actually don't have much to tell them. gosh really miss them lots!!! last met them on hq's bday.. gosh gosh. i can't remember if we celebrated elin's bday.. i think we celebrated it together with hq.. hahahhaha.. gosh gosh.. i m seriously sleep walking these days.. can't rmb anything...

Hair cut, student psle result

2007-11-23T11:18:00.000+08:00

So sad.. my student who usually does well didn't do too well for PSLE... gosh don't know wat to say or do.. Don't know how come like that i feel so disappointed...

had a hair cut yest.. my hair is super short. but it looks better than e long hair. e long hair is making me look pale and sick. i kind of like my new hair...

Yea.. my pri 5 student did well getting a pay raise... hope she does well for PSLE

the lousy funeral consultant

2007-11-18T03:46:00.000+08:00

basically u have to hire somebody to take care of the funeral procedurals. the guy we hired is super lousy. he gives the wrong advice, poisons the food and argue with the family.

the first day he suggested we jus open a few tables as there won't be a lot of people.. in e end so pai seh.. there were too many ppl and e food was not enough for everyone.

honestly this guy earns a lot of money fr us. i heard he charge ur v ex for e drinks and peanuts and sweets. if u r thick skin enough to charge 10 times e original cost of sth then at least provide some service. if u can't provide service at least don't argue and be rude to the family. haven't seen anyone like him. we paying so much, but he is freaking rude to us and order us around. like wat the fuck. the worst is that he was supposed to serve dinner at 5.30 by 6sth we haven't had dinner so my uncles went to chui him. he still told my uncle don't force him or else he will die like my grandma... like wat the hell. don't have to be disrespectful to my grandma. she is e only reason u r even here.

gosh if u noticed this entry is done 4am in e morning.. seriously i m supposed to get some sleep.. "today" morning goin to chu bing. but my stomach hurt so much i can't sleep. my cousins and i have diahorrea thanks to his food. gosh. my stomach is that bad that i tried sleeping but i get awaken up due to e pain. gosh don't know how i will survive tmr. hopefully e pain will end soon.. gosh... really hate that guy.. ought to complain him to nea or sth providing unhygenic food. wth.. don't know how i m goin to survive tmr!!!

my grandma is gone

2007-11-17T10:37:00.000+08:00

gosh. last wed after work i had to rush to granny place. cos they said she was goin to go soon. anyway i was a few min late b4 seeing her gone... gosh my office is really near her place so i was already rushing there running there.. but it was still too late. felt v stunned when i arrived and they told me she was dead.. i was like really shocked. so i went to c her one last time. i didn't want to cry, but it was like naturally the tears jus flow down. it is like i don't even know i m crying till i feel the tears.

honestly i m quite glad she passed away. listen to me first before ur say i m unfillal. cos she actually suffer quite a lot at 80 years old definately u don't want tubes to be stuck to u everywhere. seriously i hate visiting her at hospital cos it looks so painful. and honestly my grandma lived a blessed life.. as in everyone will dote on her have lots of grandchildren, great grandchildren. nth else in her life she needs to fufill anymore. this few days have been helping out at the wake. super tired... grandpa is senile. then it is quite funny. as in when he know his wife is dead he was really sad but after awhile he will forget she is dead. when they were removing granny's bed grandpa keep scolding them asking them who they r y come and steal things. but actually it is good to forget. then he won't have grieve and sorrow.

yest helped to looked after my niece and nephew super tired. my cousin son who is 4 really naughty.. hee.. when he is alone he really guai.. but when he is with his biao jiu.. my cousins.. he get naughty.. keep running around. he is really smart for a 4 yr old. as in when his parents ask him not to play le. he say he is helping to serve guest. hee... then when my cousin ask him to catch them he hug and told one of them i love you so accompany me to catch them. hahahhaa... but really naughty la.. cos there is another nephew younger than him called lucus. then lucus is only 1 half yr old. can't talk much can run. lucus like running hahahaha... he like want to play with them but don't know wat they r playing so he keep running and laughing. anyway shaun the 4 yr old one don't like lucus cos when lucus is around all e attention is on him. then he v bad push lucus down. then all of us went to scold him. then shaun act innocent again. say he is sorry later he still push my niece down. ai yo... he really mischeivous. but one thing good is that when other kids r crying lucus and shaun knows how to console them as in.. though they r young when they c ppl crying they will run and hug them and sayang them and ask them not to cry.. so cute rite?? so adorable...

grey

2007-11-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

gosh realised i haven't blog since a mth ago. actually nth much happened.. jus tat life have been getting busy and sucky... v depressed lately.. shall elaborate more..

oh ya my tuition kid was really cute.. as in wat she said really puzzled me.. hahahhah... one day i was in a lift with her then there is this young toddler. maybe 3 or 4 yr old. then my kid was carrying a barbie bag.. then e toddler keep telling her mom jie jie's bag very cute... hahahha.. when we get out e lift i told my kid that toddler very cute.. then she told me she bu xi huan xiao hai zi ( in other words she don't like kids) i was really shocked.. i was like but u r a kid too. btw my tuition kid is 8 and she always tells me childish thing. she really jus a kid. hahahhaha.. so funny she keep telling she me she hate kids.. then she keep pestering me to invite her to my wedding, honestly i m not planning to get married anytime soon ok. hahahha.. then she tell me not to have kids so soon cos i still young.. ai yo! an 8 yr old lecturing a 21 yr old.. i really don't know wat to say...

my nephew was really sweet too.. that day he learnt to make pizza cos it was my niece his sis bday. he wanted to make it for his sis.. so sweet.. but my sis say he is giving off gay vibe.. hahaha.. but it is scary to think abt that since he is so young...

oh ya now for the not so happy part.. really feel unhappy lately.. maybe it is cos of e weather.. really feel like i m dragging myself out of bed everyday. then oso cos life have been too boring. sch, work, tuition, sch.. the vicious cycle continues... and oso during yr end i always feel depressed. don't know y.. maybe cos i feel like i have wasted the whole yr.. in short i jus don't like yr end!

very fed up at work lately. it seems that no1 cares abt working. as in they have to close oct acct soon. so we have to prepare. but it seems like i m the only one preparing and bascially i m only a temp staff! like they don't have any sense of urgency towards it at all, only i m feeling the sense of urgency.. the Acct executive (AE) really useless.. i think i have complained abt her in e last few entries, but seriously... ahhh.. it is like i m doing all her work. and i m damn fed up of it! she is not even rushing for closing but i m rushing like siao. she is not even preparing for it. then it is like they jus throw all the things to me lor.. for goodness sake i m jus a temp, but i m completely doin wat the ae is supposed to do.

i realised some report have not been prepared for closing so i told my buddy. she told me not to care must teach the ae a lesson, or else she will think i will always be there to wipe her butt..
then there were some reports which the ae is supposed to do, but apparantly the accountant think that i m capable of doin it so ask me to handle it. seriously, my degree is not in acct, so i don't know nuts abt it, secondly, wat did ur hired an ae for? i didn't know how to do so i called the ae in hq to ask her.. then i ask her y m i learning all these don't ur need to teach the ae since i would be leaving soon. then they jus said they give up teaching her.. ahhh..... i know i m "smart" pick up things faster than her, but ur teach me all her work for wat? I really think that woman is jus an AE in name only cos she have the experience. i was honestly suprised that everything she knows how to do i know too... and learnt it at a faster pace.

Then a simple thing as keying invoice oso can key wrongly. i still told her umpteen times to key that way.. was really fedup le.. the idiotic thing is that she denied anyone teaching her.. then i realised i wrote it down on e "bible" the (mi ji) and she tell me no1 told her. even if u cannot hear u can c right? there write in cap to key liao.. jus cos she keyed one info less i have so much problem contra my acct.

i oso don't like it when u can't meet deadline. i need her to do somethings before i can contra my things.. then she always tell me she will do it later cos she very busy. busy doin wat? answering phone call the whole day.. can't she set a good role model for us. a temp busier than an ae wat is this co turning too. then u r delaying my progress le. jus cos u haven't key that info in i can't do a lot of things. then i have to wait for u.. like ni zi ji si jiu hao le bu yao ba wo tuo xia shuai. jus cos u r not serious don't expect me to be not serious too..

I heard elin mom is an ae then her mom quite zai learn the co acct by herself. ai yo... how come this ae so jia lat de.. need me a temp to teach her wat to do. then the stupid thing is anyone teach her she oso don't listen. ming ming do AR de somehow still can key invoices wrongly to ap.. then cause ap to not tie. when i tell ppl that i m doin the ae work everyone seems a bit surprised, even i m surprised at how incapable this ae is. the accountant was shocked when i told her i was doin schedule. ask me how i know how to do. learn la...

even more angry when i saw her keying in nov inv.. it is like now rushing for oct u doin nov for wat can use ur brain all not? she is doin things like she have all the time in e world. then i c her haven't completed rda and pass journal.. i really want to do it but my buddy dissuaded me ask me to teach her a lesson. gosh i really feel like huang shang bu ji tai jian ji.

The stupid thing is she is always acting busy, complaining that she is busy. when i look at wat she is doin i know she can't be busy. cos the things that she is doin i can do too in a short period of time and furthermore those r not urgent!!!! she apparantly doesn't know the meaning of busy. busy is when u have deadlines in 2 hrs time. i started work at 1.30pm but is expected to hand in some analysis of acct by 3pm. ahh... i don't understand y everyone is stressing me to do those things but not stressing that ae. so funny la.. then call fr hq oso ask for me to analyse the entries.. then when i ask them y don't ask e ae. then say they think i know better and don't want to talk to her. ai yo.. do all e shit lor.. i wish e ex ae was everyone life wasn't tat stressful. that ae super hardworking de everytime ot. then when i want to help her she would refuse my help. treat me so good. then give me things that don't need to use brains to do de. now my brains think too much abt no..

my buddy keep telling me not to care abt work. don't get so agitated and so pia to complete things on time... she said if no1 else is caring y r u caring. then ask y m i doin all e impt work rushing for closing when their ae can't even be bothered! i really don't like this kind of work attitude. i realised i can be quite serious at work for don't know wat reason oso. it is jus that i don't like ppl to wipe my butt.. i don't like to handover incomplete things to ppl. and i like learning new things to do. i don't want to have this attitude though i m jus only a temp. i jus feel that if i can give my best i will give my best. cos only when u give ur best u can learn the most. apparently i m an idiot for thinking this way. seriously i m doin all i can to try not to be rude to that ae.. she is seriously getting on my nerves.

work, life and such..

2007-10-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

went back to work last wk. jo was not as bad as yin yin make her out to be.. actually she is quite ok. but i don't know wat will happen if she knows i m yin's fren so not planning to tell her yet... anyway it seems like things at work had changed a lot. as in e recept was fired, then a new one came, and a new accountant. really a lot of new faces.. basically now i don't have a permanent place to sit and i m getting busier cos e accountant is back... hee...

last thur went shopping with buddy. jus managed to bought a pair of shoes. then fri we went to sing k at cck. my buddy's bf really v li hai.. he can translate any chinese song to hokkien. hee.. and seriously when he sings he got those hokkien singer style.. hahahahaha... gosh i m always being a light bulb, but u know wat the thing is i m never uncomfortable being a light bulb. i guess that explains how thick skin i really am. hahahha... but it is ok la.. realised have e ability to turn blind e moment they get mushy.. hee...

oh ya the new ae is seriously a messy person!!! i m already a very messy person and she can be worse than me... at least u know i luan zhong you xu.. i know wat i m doin. she always misplace things then ask ppl where it is then in e end she found it at her tray.. ai yo.. i oso dare not go help her.. later i get blamed for misplacing things.. then like ask her to do anything u say ok ok.. then in e end e status is always undone. ai yo.. if u want me to do jus say so. when i offer help u say ok ok then goin to do closing le then all the info not in... i m here to help u not snatch ur ricebowl and besides at e moment i m not even capable enough to snatch ur ricebowl. so don't hesitate to ask for help. hahhaha.. my colleague all keep teasing me. cos when i always get scolded for being messy, but now i can remind other ppl to not be so messy.. i think they r quite shocked that there is a person who is messier than me.. hahahaha... actually i oso can't believe there would be a day where i would bua tahan someone for being messy.. hee...

oh ya my colleague and frens r quite health conscious.. they don't eat squid and stuff.. and fr elin's "sickness" i m starting to wonder if i m becoming unhealthy too. gosh gosh.. i always secretly think that i got heart disease, cos elin's dad although v skinny got heart disease. especially since i take a lot of high cholesterol food.. should start exercising.. actually every tue i try to go ave 4 to eat then can walk there and then walk home, i don't think it is considered much exercise though. i also walk to tuition's kids place it is like a 20min walk and walking to work oso helps. i think everyone can start exercising in small ways. as in like instead of taking a cab or bus try walking to a place to another. can save money and exercise at the same time. i seriously think taking cab for nth all the time is such a waste of money. e moment u get in u have to pay $2.50. i try my best not to take cabs. the nearest bus stop or mrt station is nv too far, unless it is raining la..

last sat went to celebrate joyce bday.. this time round don't know y the steamboat didn't taste as tasty as when i went there the first time with yik and gang. but ok la.. actually it is a pity since joyce xin and rita didn't take spicy food. cos actually i think e specialty is e ma la soup. hmm... next time sld take them to other places. after that had craving for ice cream so went mac.. e flavour burst joyce had was quite nice!! we played game like guessing e celebrity. when joyce and i were walking home we played sing a song with the work ai in it. then we take turns to sing.. hahaha.. when e other party is disrupting u singing loudly it can be quite a challenging game. it was really fun!!! hahahha.. realise really don't need to go gameboard club with them. we always improvise games to play. so fun so fun.. don't know when we will meet again...

anyway.. i seriously having craving for crystal jade porridge! gosh gosh... thinking of food again...

nanny diaries, cockroaches and jodi picoult book

2007-10-02T15:56:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went to watch nanny diaries with sl. it was an ok movie.. not bad.. haven't watched a movie with her in a long time. after that we went shopping.. didn't get anything.. gosh really want to buy things but nothing for me to buy...

we went waraku for dinner.. seriously great place nice food... the food was great but really a big zhong kou wei. good for ppl who likes salty stuff...

lately cockroaches have been invading my house.. hahahha.. there are a lot of cockroaches in e kitchen. been able to catch up to 3 per night. one night i was soundly asleep. then i jus got woken up by sth. then when i open my eyes i saw a cockroach crawling. faster ran out the room to get my sis and dad to kill it.. gosh... jus wonder how long it had been crawling around me. jus wonder if it had crawled over me... yucks! that's y i like lizard more than cockroaches.. cockroaches r such pest. though lizard can be quite irritating at times at least it eats up mosquitoes and go into hiding the moment u scare it. lizards can be silly at times though. like that day the when i open e fridge the lizard got a shock and climbed into it. then i don't know where it went le so closed it back.

jodi picoult's book is really great! i jus read 19minutes... it is about a serious act of violence due to bullying. the book has 2 main characters 2 childhood fren. one of them is the one who is ostracize and the other the one who is protecting the guy who is bullied when they were young, but due to not wanting to be ostracize anymore she joined the popular gang... it shows how the guy went crazy and killed his schoolmates the ones who bullied him and those who didn't. really sad book.. the things ppl do when they want to defend themselves and revenge is nv good.

surprise party and stuff

2007-09-24T18:12:00.001+08:00

hee.. last sat xinyi's bf planned a surprise early birthday party for her... it was so sweet! and romantic.... he booked this place at bali lane. a place at bugis. the place is called blu jazz cafe if i didn't remember wrongly... anyway it was quite a nice place to chill out.

we reached there rather early. xinyi was late as usual. so we waited very long for her... hahahah... anyway, some of xinyi's other fren appeared rather rude. i guess it was not on purpose they jus wanted the best for xinyi and i don't think we were being very cooperative, as in we were rather anti social... they passed us msg cards to write. then the one sy chose have stuff written on it already so she approached the girl to get another one. then sy said that the girl was very rude, they were blaming each other then later blamed sy for taking the wrong card. at first, i was like give them a chance maybe it is a misunderstanding since it was quite noisy there.

after that her frens ask us to hide at the back. then they were kind of scolding us for not hiding properly. then when they wanted to light the candle a fan above shuqiang was on so a guy very impolitely asked shuqiang to off it. i guess they were too anxious for everything to do well so they were kind of telling us off.. but it was ok la...

gosh the look on xin's face when she saw us was really worth it.. hahahah.. she looked super shocked.. hahaha... then she keep repeatingly say huh huh huh... quite cute.

rita keep mentioning abt the cost and everything.. hee.. she seems really envious. i guess we r all envious but well she was jus making lots of comments.. hee.. the whole night rita was telling us lots of things abt herself. don't know y she was so hyper.. but ok la.. since we didn't catch up in a few yrs.. hearing abt her was fine.. oh ya actually rita was quite funny. as in i think she didn't purposely want to be funny, but wat she said really tickles me. i don't know y either. like the part where she say she is getting married in 3 yrs time.. hahahha... oh no i don't sound evil at laughing right.. it jus tickles me and i can't control my laughter.

anyway xinyi and her boyfriend were really cute together... they were really sweet together.. i haven't seen sweet couples for a long time liao. so very happy to c them being so sweet together.. honestly really happy and envious for her.. xin is a nice girl she deserve a nice guy.. after all the not so good guys she had at least there is a shinning and outstanding one.. hee.. very happy for her!!!

oh ya the person with the least potential to spoil the surprise almost spoil it.. hahahha.. it was really funny... meihui sent xin a bday card then in e card mentioned abt her bf surprise. the thing is xin received the card on the surprise day morning. fortunately she didn't open it... xin was saying somehow her bf surprise always get ruined halfway.. hee... the tot that mh is in aus but managed to almost us a surprise was so funny. the person u least expect to divulge the secret might actually be the one.. hee.. really want to tell mh all abt the party and seriously hope she was here.. it would have been so much fun if she was here.. gosh really miss her...

No reservations.

2007-09-16T21:49:00.000+08:00

went out with minli and sam to watch this movie at vivo on sat. sam was terrible. when we reached he was still at home rushing to meet us. anyway ya.. it was an ok movie. but it was fun being out with them.

we went baker's inn for cake. seriously jus tot their food was so so.. and seriously a bit costly for so-so food. minli told us that there is this place at city hall where pastries r half price after 10. so minli drove us there...

our conversation at baker's inn was quite funny. actually we were kind of interrogating sam abt his friend. i think i mentioned in my aug blog entry about his friend. anyway i told minli about his friend, and i told her i think he is gay. then i told her wat happened. so we(ok i supposed it is more of me) asked sam about his fren. i mean i couldn't start off with r u gay right? so must start asking fr his fren. i asked if his fren is gay. then he say shouldn't be. asked me y i had this impression. i told him cos his fren is seriously broken wrist and speaks too softly. i didn't mention this but when his fren look at him there is this gleam in his eyes. i don't really know how to explain la.. then i asked sam if he is gay so sam said he is not. ok la.. at this pt of time when i ask him this i can c that he is not lying.. so he might not be gay at the moment. the funny part is after that he refused to go have cake with us at city hall, then he said he was staying overnight at his fren's place. i asked him where his friend lived, so that maybe minli can drive us both back. then he said hougang. that idiot! disclosed where he was goin. the moment i heard hougang i asked him if he is goin to broken wrist place. cos i clearly remembered broken wrist live in hougang. though i only met broken wrist once, my memory works in weird place like i remember he stay in hougang. then minli was kind of angry of him for hiding. she told him that if there is nth goin on btn him and broken wrist y must he lie, he could have jus said he was goin to broken wrist's place. hahahahha...

on e car to city hall for pastries, we chat again. minli told sam that he is wearing a pink polo t might give broken wrist the wrong idea.. hahahha.. then sam said he has a black shirt in his bag. and he wanted to change in the car. at this pt of time minli was already driving. i told him not to do so. i said imagine other drivers in the passing car would be wondering wat a stripper is doin at the back of the car. two ladies in frt one stripper at the back. then i said it is too distracting to other drivers so asked him not to change his clothes in e car. anyway it was really funny la... hahahaha... really like being out with them.

seriously i m not that against sam being gay, but minli seems quite against it. not that sam is gay now. but well who knows in e future. ai ya.. watever he does, as long as he is happy will do, but i don't really like broken wrist guy. he seems too.. i don't know how to explain.. hahahhaha... ok la.. maybe they both r straight! ai yo.. shouldn't think too much

sch reopen, work

2007-09-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

first day of sch. was surprised there is escalator in sch now! so convenient.. hahahaha... lazy to walk up the stairs especially since i m always late in e morning. mgmt science methods is really boring....

oh ya. went to work after class.. it was quite ok la.. everyone seems to be in a holiday mood. don't really know how long i sld continue working for. actually working and schooling is quite tiring. i mean i did it last yr oso. and this is my last yr want to put more effort in my studies. i don't want to waste my time studying again. not only a waste of time, but waste of money. after working today i feel so tired. tmr i will most likely slack the whole day. at this pt i can afford too. since it is only the beginning, but when lessons get heavy then how? anyway i don't really need to decide much la.. i heard they hired 2 new ppl. there might not be space for me so i might have to leave sooner than expected.. but it is ok la i don't mind leaving earlier. i will jus miss my buddy. grown really fond of her. as in i really think she is my ming zhong zhu ding must meet the fren. although can go out in e future. but we might grow apart due to not working tgth.

oh ya today the stupid mkting argue with me again. he ah.. v weak! the moment he starts losing an argument, he will say i have no right to say anything.. idiot! then he always point his finger at me. today can't take it i grab his finger wanted to twist it to injure him but somehow my hands not strong enough. then he say i fei li him like to touch him.. idiot! luckily my buddy save me at this time say got once he touch her.. hahahha.. she was kiddingly say de. then we all hor hor him until he retreat back to his desk on the other side of the rm.. hahahahha... quite fun la.. when u c e situation u will really laugh!

out with elin

2007-09-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

gosh after jap class went to bugis street to shop with elin. really nth to buy there! i think e material really lousy and price so-so. didn't get anything at all. then we went marina. bought a pair of heels. not very tall but ok la.. i think i might have problem walking in it if we go shopping. gosh can't walk too fast in it.. hahahah.. wanted to buy a pair of shoes fr charles and keith but no more size.

oh ya the two of us really terrible.. we eat and eat. we went jack place for set lunch. it was quite ok la.. the price was average. then for dinner we went to ichiban moshi at esplanade. the food was really good!!!!! hahaha.. the thing is we had lunch at 1 sth 2. then we had dinner at 5. and we ate a lot. i had a sukiyaki set and we ordered side dishes. the ika was super good! i like their wasabe mustard and the view was great. good place to chill out!

As usual the two of us can go on and on about things. ai yo.. i think we r terrible.. can talk non stop, but i really enjoy talking to her. i guess that's wat frens r.. u jus tell them everything abt ur life.. it is like although we don't have common places like sch to bond us tgth, but there is still a lot we can talk about. meeting on thur for frog leg porriage.. can't wait! hee.. though we r quite busy but this is e last yr to keep in close contact before we start our hectic working life.. gosh gosh. i want time to stop.

shitty colleagues (mkting) and how fateful some ppl sld meet

2007-09-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

Freaking angry! i really hate self centered ppl! they r the no 1 kind of ppl i hate. really so angry! actually it is jus a simple matter but i was really hurt and angry with wat the person said. so ungrateful la.. honestly they sld jus rot in hell.

that place sells lifestyle retail stuff basically the person who sells it is e receptionist and a sales clerk who is on leave. anyway they were both not around. so the cust officer called me. actually i oso don't know y he called me la. they asked for the mkting guy. they told me to tell him to go down to serve e cust. then i did la. then he and his stupid bitch manager started giving excuses to me reason to them on y they can't sell the things. then the stupid thing is that their main pt is that they can't go. so of course when i convey e msg i will jus say they can't go serve e cust la.. fuck them la.. when i jus told e cso they can't go the mkting guy and his bitch manager start "singing" say wat cannot say like that ah. then they had to explain a cock and bull story to e cso. the stupid thing is they r not solving the problem. fuck still say i zuo luan. sow discord. like wat the hell. i jus conveyed ur msg ma.. and do u think e cso will care abt wat u say. even if u give them so many explanations they will be jus thinking wat the hell use mouth to do work de. not solving their problem lor.. then mkting ppl even say jus turn down e cust. wa ppl come so far to buy things jus cos ur don't want to serve them we have to turn down cust. i haven't heard anything so ridiculous at all. everyone sld know their salary is on cust. u turn them down it is equivalent to digging ur own grave.

mkting ppl really cmi! they jus think abt themselves. watever they do as long as it benefits themselves they don't care de. they yelled at acct to get cheque. yelled at cso for their events. yell at salesman for not helping them. hello, r they even worthy of help?! mkting ppl's mind very weird de. the gm was fr a mkting background then when they have meeting with salesman she don't let anyone pick up e phone not even for urgent calls. it is like don't make sense lor.. urgent calls r called urgent calls for a reason. have brain or not? then furthermore. car salesman peak sales period is on mon. cos usually after looking at cars over e wkend, cos sun e store is close only contactable on mon. so if they r keen on it they will call first thing in e morning on mon. seriously a gm should know this simple theory. but she don't even let them pick up cust phone? isn't this ridiculous? turning down sales for ur stupid meeting? got brain or not?

mkting ppl really don't use brain to work de.. i mentioned e storerm incident b4.. they really so self centered le.. the whole place only have one storerm. jus to put their rubbish don't let us put our documents. then wa when they need help order u or beg u like crazy. wa lao...

have to say mkting is a gd fren but a lousy colleague. i m really pissed off. they were seriously rude when i was jus helping them to ans e phonecall. next time mkting call i shall jus transfer it away.. fuck man. hao xin bei lei pi!

oh ya today went out with my buddy. her bf v nice drove me hm.. hee...

anyway this buddy and i really you yuan. we were fr e same pri sch. she is older than me by one yr old. then today i realised she knows my pri sch fren. cos my pri sch fren is her sec sch junior. then even scarier she knows my sec sch fren too. cos she was their classmates. and she know my uncle too. cos he drives e sch bus which she jus happened to take. ai yo.. really fated to meet le. the thing is she don't have much fren. not a person with a large circle of fren. but so qiao we have so many common acquaintances. then i say she might have bully me when we were younger.. hahaha.. i bet we have met b4.. so scary la.. i still told her things abt my pri sch fren cos u think she won't know de ma.. in e end she really know leh!!!! ai yo... reminds me of wat elin once say.. if there was a video taping us in e past who knows we might have scolded or passed a nasty comment abt each other b4. but now we r frens. god really brought ur tgth to be frens. so pleasantly surprised.... my heart nearly stopped.. really send goosebumps..

it was a fun day

2007-09-06T00:03:00.000+08:00

today tuition kid cancelled on me. poor girl was terribly sick. it was good la can go out with my buddy... oh ya shall tell ur wat happened yest first

yest i felt like having crystal jade la mien. then jus so happen mkting felt like having too. it was jus a coincidence la. the next coincidence we had was we were both wearing blue shirt. then he v mean. when he drove us there he told me to go back myself cos he say his clothes match his xiao lan(his blue mazda) then he said that i sld get a blue taxi then can match me.. anyway at crystal jade the 3 of us were arguing.. idiot he always calls me la ji tong (rubbish bin) cos i eat everything. then we were discussing my sis he really said sth really rude and offensive. he said my sis sure no good cos like me rubbish bin. he insult me can le still insult my sis. he always kui me kui until quite terrible. ai yo... ok la i know he is like that de.. getting used to it. but ya la..

today mkting guy called me twice. ai yo give me a shock! without the pregnant lady around e phone rarely rings. anyway the first time was to complain abt my handwriting, the 2nd time was to ask me abt some stupid joke fr yesterday. he really wu liao. then when i was chatting with kok meng on e phone he suddenly came into my office say i slack. jus when my opinion of him was becoming better!

buddy and i went shopping so funny. i think i m such an idiot sometimes so when ppl r with me they become idiots too.. we got a shock at the esprite fitting rm. then when my buddy tried a top she wore it on wrongly.. hahahha.. then we very mean la.. laughing at ppl's clothes and stuff. then i spoilt my buddy shoes. i stepped on it till it broke. so funny la...

we waited for mkting guy to pei us eat dinner. waited till 9.30. by then i was not very hungry anymore. we had mac. it was the only place opened. ok la talking to them was quite funny...we were like testing each other's memory. cos everytime i tell him sth he forgets. so was testing how much he remembers.after that buddy's fren came to fetch her.. so mkting guy drove me back hm. stupid mkting guy scare me. cos he said he have to drive out a bit so that i can enter to the other door. then he pretended to wave to me. pretend to leave me alone in e carpark. in e end fortunately he didn't do that. he was jus kidding la. my buddy still very afraid to leave us both alone. cos we might end up fighting as usual. hahahha.. my buddy msg me if he bullied me! he didn't la throughout the car journey we had boring conversation. basically listening to his philosophy on working here. ok la it was my fault i asked him first.