yesterday went to kbox with sl... Had a lot of fun. I really didn't expect wat would have happened yest night.

Last nite i went hm at 12. anyway my mom came in slightly later than me. Then she told us that she got something to tell us. She told us that she and my dad r having some problems. I kind of expected that. Cos he didn't came hm one wk last mth, then i saw my mom crying. I could roughly guess wat was goin to happen, but i jus didn't want to hear it. If my mom say it already i can't pretend that nth's happening. My mom say that wk he was away, he went gambling. He lost a lot of money. He borrowed money from my mom and all my relatives. And this has been happening for 3 yrs... My mom nv told us until now, cos she is afraid that this will affect our studies. My mom told us we have to downgrade to a smaller flat to pay off his debts. She said she wanted to divorce him, but cos my grandparents v old le, dying soon, she don't want to give them huge shock... Hee.. my sis first reaction was y must u tell me now.. Hee.. I think she expected this to come to... Cheryl no matter wat we have to be strong ok?! for the sake of ourselves and this family.

I really don't know wat to do now... I really wish i don't have such a selfish father. Seriously i wish he is dead. I wish my mom say that he is having an affair i rather he is having an affair than bring so much harm to my family. I wish he is not my dad. I wish i didn't love him, then it wouldn't hurt so much now. Y! Y must god always disturb me. Whenever i m feeling slightly happy bad things have to happen. Y?! I don't even dare to laugh louder than other ppl. Y must u torture me like that. Y some ppl can have a happy family, good boyfriend and many friends. Hai.. wat have i done to deserve all this?! I don't have a goodboyfriend, a good family, now all that i have r frens... Please stand by me and support me. Pretend ur care for me even if ur don't really care. Pretend ur love me even if ur don't... I really think we can't escape fate. U know my mom marriage line like mine is crossed. I read once in a book that it means we will suffer divorce. Hai... It is so true lor. We really can't escape fate. So wat if my mom haven't done anything evil, she still have to suffer in silence, she still have to marry this kind of man. Y.. Y must ppl who can take hardships always have more hardships to take than ppl who can't suffer hardship. Y is life so unfair?!

Hee.. My eyes r really swollen now. didn't sleep a wink last night. I don't know wat to do now... Hai.. My fav saying.. zou yi bu shi yi bu... Will jus take things as it comes. Please give me the courage to deal with whatever will come.