merry christmas

Oh gosh had a busy wk. last fri v happy... had tuition with this pri 3 boy i jus started teaching... He gave me a christmas present! a homemade bookmark with my name on it, a red pen and a post it note. Then on his christmas card he wrote.. amanda jie jie merry christmas.. haha... so touched and happy.. in this cold weather really feel warmth from a person i barely know for now... hee..

on mon i went to watch e holiday with sl... it was really a nice movie. well a typical chick flick. uob have 12% rebate discount on movie ticket for e cathay group. so the movie tic was rather cheap... as usual i enjoyed my time with sl a lot.. but i seriously don't rmb wat we did.. haha... always feel so comfortable and happy with her. Thanks for being my best friend for so many years.

On tue went to my jc class celebration. went with elin and yik after work. On the bus it was really funny. we boarded 189 then on e bus i mentioned abt having one paragraph left to do for my essay, and when elin was saying that she got gossip to tell me i suddenly heard someone calling me.. haha... it was my mom.. i quickly passed my things to my mom to help me take home. v thin tai to carry a plastic bag along with u. anyway my mom told elin that we can continue gossiping.. haha.. so pai sai. when i got home she asked me if i have completed my essay. haha... well sad to say i didn't complete it. I didn't hand in, in e end.

anyway when we managed to get to yew wei uncle's house it was rather late. yw served us food and e 3 of us were kind of talking among ourselves. the food quality not v good, but we had to pay $20.. a bit pricely... could go to a restaurant and have a good meal with that price. maybe it is because they bought alcohol... anyway we played tai te, well i kept losing... hai.. palms hurt fr being hit by them all e time, since i lost the whole time round. then we played zhong zi mi ma with dices after awhile.. hee.. when yik was e dealer she kind of hinted us so managed to sabo yw.. but i didn't hit yw hard enough!!!!!! poor elin got hit by yw oso!

Oh ya i didn't know abt e best dressed competition so ended up wearing t-shirt and jeans. was quite shocked cos i was quite underdressed. i didn't want to make e same mistake i did on elin's bday. bcause her bday got theme in e end i was overdressed. almost everyone fr jj came casually. sharks! in e end i was e odd one out again... anyway don't want to win this stupid competition anyway. elin's makeup v nice,clothes quite style. elin's bag and wallet v nice!! her camera even cooler.. haha... oh no y m i talking abt this? lp clothes v girly nv seen that side of her.. haha.. yik clothes oso v pretty. in other words.. i didn't c so many ppl dressed up tgth.

Anyway the girls were supposed to choose the best dressed for e guy and vice versa. we chose hq. there was a close vote btn him and some other guy whom i did not know. in e end we use e dice to decide. hee.. so it was hq. well when we announced that, the guys suggested e best dressed male kiss e best dressed female. haha... i was clapping like crazy, then i tot it was elin or zw who won. was clapping crazily.. in e end they announced it is me. i told them not to play le.. u know these guys always like that! then yw presented e prize to me, i don't really dare to take. yw v jian one. he will always "fool around" i tot yw was goin to pretend to give me when i m abt to take it he would pass it to someone else. ok but this time he didn't. abt e kiss thing i told hq to kiss my watch as suggested by elin. phew! at least i got a present. after bullying me, at least got a prize. when i went home to open it. it was a shaver and gel! ai yo... wat do i need that for. my dad can't use either he is bald. haha... realised yw wrapped e wrong prez. so we r exchanging back e prez on liling's bday.

on wed after class went to have steamboat with my sec sch frens. we at steamboat at bugis junction! it is v cold so a v good day to have steamboat. except one thing. the place is an open space. so since it jus rained there was rain water dripping on e table. we really ate a lot the food was quite nice and i kept drinking e soup. after a while it started pouring.. haha.. our steamboat full of rainwater. after i drank e soup like a bit saltish. don't know if it is due to psychological effect or due to the rain. anyway i think e most impt thing is not wat u eat, it is who u eat with. since i was having fun with them didn't bother much abt wat i was eating... Really had a fun time.

hee.. going to write some things.. if you yuan ren c it then ok let them c it. cos recently i realised there is more ppl than i expected who read this blog... my dad went gambling again. i know wat u r goin to say.. not again rite? well i feel e same way too. i m so sick of living in this lousy gambling drama haha..and i guess ur r sick of hearing this. so i shall put it in small font and in white. whoever sees it u r very lucky. one day my mom came back fr malaysia and she was crying saying that he lost a lot of money but this time round no1 is goin to help him. my mom moved to my room and sleep. hai... i hate the situation now. my mom always say that she will divorce him and throw him out of the house. but it is not happening. it is not that i hate him so much that i want her to divorce him but i can't stand it. i don't trust him. and i m so sick of all this shit every few mths. seriously i feel so numb by it that i won't even cry over it anymore. i don't know if i mentioned this b4. my sis had radio production module she invited me as a guest on her show and well we were supposed to talk abt gambling in sg. she was supposed to interview me abt my dad. i remember one question was do u trust ur father anymore do u think he has turned over a new leaf. my reply was i really don't know, i m jus waiting to c wat happens. trust takes time. and he might not do wat he promised. actually i really feel like i m waiting for this to happen, kind of expecting it. he betrayed the family's trust once, so don't expect me to believe him again. only my mom and his siblings will give him a chance over and over again but not me! maybe forgiveness came too easily for him, that's y he is not appreciating it. but i seriously hate the stiuation now. he is still living here mom didn't throw him out, and i really don't know how to face him. i don't want to talk to him, i don't even want to c him. jus wish he would get out of our life soon, but though mom says she will divorce him. the action nv happen. i hate living in fear. that day when i boarded e lift saw loanshark writing on e lift, kept looking to c if it is my house no.. fortunately it is not. then every night keep hearing sounds fr e front door v worried if some loansharks r there. seriously this is not abt repaying e loan. if i were asked to fork out e money i would have a bit. but the fact is that i don't want to fork out this money! y should i handle this troublemaker who never learns. seriously i m a selfish person. hee.. my bday is coming. don't think we will celebrate it. whenever ppl ask me how i m goin to celebrate it i really don't know how to reply. if anyone read this pls pass e msg ask them not to tell me how i m celebrating it. i really don't know how to reply. feel a bit sad, but it is ok la... we have bday every year. feel a bit envious of those who r having celebration for their bday. hai.. we shall c how. hee.. i m really selfish at this pt of time i m still thinking abt my bday. but well i want to be like a normal person. other girls worry abt this so y can't i worry abt it. oh man.. i jus want to pretend nth is happening. i feel so wu nai (helpless) in this situation cos no matter wat i say he is not e man i marry, i can't divorce him if i want to, it is my mom's decision. and seriously i don't know wat my mom wants to do.... all i can do is feel upset over things. but now i have learnt not to feel sad and jus live. my mom was saying me and my sis v selfish. cos in this situation we jus continue doin our daily rountine. well wat do u expect me to do? cry everyday? i have enough of crying. i don't have anymore tears to cry for this man. and seriously i jus want to pretend this is not happening. i don't want to be affected i want to be happy! yes i m very selfish but there is nth i can do to help u solve the problem. do u naively think that he will change by wat we say?! if he will, it would have happened a long time ago. not now. ok that's all i jus want to get this off my chest.