First times

Recently thanks to my buddy experienced many first time.. ok shall mention this later in e story..

yest had tuition then jap class then meet my buddy. we were supposed to go shopping. she had to meet her poly frens before me.. anyway one of her poly frens is my sec sch fren which is joyce.. honestly so happy to c joyce.. i feel so extra la.. but fortunately her poly frens were quite nice.. quite easy to get along.. anyway buddy's bf was not free cos he had to help his fren w e bridal car or sth.. then well e moment buddy knew her bf was not coming she called e salesman to come drive us. which is wat he did... i think v bad le.. but shall not comment much about this now.

went to ps.. they accompany me to have dinner though they were rather full. we had lj. buddy keep saying c everyone accompanying me.. actually i m quite grateful to them for accompanying me.. but honestly if i didn't supposedly came to accompany buddy i wouldn't have to force them to have dinner with me. then buddy keep saying u c they so good all my fault honestly i was kind of pissed off by that statement. i could have not come.. but well i didn't say anything. she was jus teasing la.. can get used to it. maybe i was in a rather grumpy mood cos i was quite tired.

after that sm(salesman) brought me and buddy to the 70storey cafe at swiss hotel.. it was an eye opener.. but i seriously felt so extra... i think that guy a bit poor thing i mean he wooing her not me.. but have to keep paying for me.. i really felt so uncomfortable.. i think it kind of showed on my face.. cos they keep asking me if i m sian.. anyway it is an overpriced place like 25bucks per person and u drink juice.. the scenary was nice.. a very chic place.. but...

after that they drove me home.. his car is a 2nd hand bmw... it is wat 3 series.. then is a convertible. then when we were going home. he asked if we want to open e top. which is wat he did.. anyway ya... it is seriously not that fun to sit in a convertible.. i mean it seems cool and chic. but well ur hair gets super messy.. and cos my hair is so short it keeps hitting my face, then when he drive so quickly can't even open my eyes.. it is like those stupid movie where e wind keeps blowing that ur faced goes.. ai yo don't know how to explain..

now for my opinion.. it seems v glam rite v cool. but honestly i didn't felt the least bit happy, and i was not enjoying it at all. i like e thrill of enjoying something new. and i m very glad with this experience, cos it made me understand a lot of things about myself. i know this sounds a little exaggerating.. but it is true.. a lot of thoughts were running in my head when all this happen..

firstly, i understand that it is not the place, it is the people you r with that makes the place fun and enjoyable. I wouldn't say i understand this today, but this incident reinforces this understanding.. Secondly, I will nv enjoy goin to these places.. it is an eye opener, but i felt that no matter who i go with i won't feel happy here, it feels too chic for a "country bumpkin" like me. i couldn't understand e loud music, i mean u r yelling at each other till u get hoarse. Thirdly, i will lead a "cursed life" i will nv marry rich.. hahaha.. i will most likely not get married, anyway that's not the point. The point is i don't like this kind of lifestyle. I know wat u r thinking u don't have to be rich to go to this places, but it is not that.. i don't like the lifestyle i seriously hate it. actually this is again sth i understood when i was 15 when i attended this indo chinese bday party at a hotel.. seriously the conversations were super shallow. i felt that u didn't have to bring a brain nor a mouth along, u jus need to know how to nod ur head. hahahaha.. buddy keep praising herself said tat if it was not her i would not be able to come to these chic places w/o paying. it is not about coming to this place, it is about who i come with. i don't think she understand that.

Anyway i don't know wat buddy is doin.. she knows she have a bf, and well this guy is obvious to everyone that he is wooing her.. but seriously i asked her if she like her bf more or this guy more. she replied this guy can give her more than her bf.. but i asked if she had an feelings for him she said not really. honestly, i like her bf.. as in if these 2 ppl were to be compared i like her bf more and m rooting for him.. hahahaha... this guy is rich can bring u to places u nv been to. but he is 37, v obvious, he is not after u because of feelings. his expression doesn't says so. i mean he is 37 jus broke up with his gf. the thing is he doesn't even look sad or he doesn't even pretend to be sad that he jus broke up with his gf. wat does that says about him? he is hiding his feeling? no lor i don't think so. it jus says that he is a player and enjoy dating ppl, enjoys the thrill of the chase. ok in this case i really don't know who is playing who. but playing with fire might get ur hands burnt. shi jie shi yuan de, What goes around comes around.

In the car they were discussing y some guys so fan jian (fan jian is in my own words) to chase after girls that have bf.. the guy said it takes two hands to clap.. if the girl didn't show that she is interested, she wouldn't go out with him.. then my buddy said, in e first place y did he chased her.. he said cos he felt feelings and guys r usually testing e waters to c if this girl will really leave her bf.. then my buddy asked if she really leaves her bf then won't that guy get worried that he will leave him one day for another guy.. which is so true i guess.. i mean if he could do it to her he would do it to u too.. it is jus a matter of time. anyway then e guy ask if it really happens whose fault do u think it is.. she said nobody's fault. then i said.. everybody's fault.. u jus don't want to feel bad so say nobody's fault. but she said feelings hard to say.. in my heart i was thinking this is not feelings it is jus materialism. i mean u admitted u don't have feeling for him and is jus using him, u enjoy getting to go high class plc, but wat abt ur bf.. i know ppl always say in a relationship u can't judge.. is that e reason y ppl r allowed to do stupid things to hurt others.. it seems so morally wrong to me.

anyway she said she haven't felt sad over a guy b4.. nv cried for them she ask if i think she is unfeeling. and i said yes.. i said she is too materialistic liao ( i said xian shi) she keep saying that she is practical. honestly there is a fine line between materialism and being practical. practical is not wearing a hat that doesn't fit (zi zhi zhi ming), materialism is putting on a head that u know will nv fit. Seriously mei you na ma da de tou jiu bu yao dai na me da de mao.

she asked us if we think she is really bad.. she said ppl always tell her she will meet her match she will get hurt by a guy one day.. she said she thinks she will rot in hell. i think i quite bad, i said u don't have to wait that long karma strikes back very quickly. ahhahahaha.. then she say ya lor everyone thinks she will suffer some retribution soon. hahhaha..

honestly i m seriously disgusted by this sort of ppl. though she is my buddy i have to say this. i really think this ppl sld jus go rot in hell or suffer fr a fate worst that death. honestly, i have a feeling my buddy felt proud of herself that she is such a player. and most likely think that ppl who dislike her thinking r jealous of her cos they wan bu qi. but seriously when i c this kind of ppl whether the girl or guy i jus feel disgust and anger. I mean they seems stupid to me, u think u r so smart or such a good player? u r jus being played.. anyway this ppl really sld jus rot in hell.. hahahaha.. gosh i m angry but i can't explain y. i really hate unappreciative ppl. i mean have a bf who accepted u when u cheated on him twice. though some ppl might think the bf is an idiot, which to some extent is true, because regardless girl or guy if he or she can cheat on u once they will definitely cheat on u many times more. that's y i will nv accept a love with flaws, that's y i m so picky. i rather stay single then be with a bastard.

actually she cheated on her bf twice. then when e guy asked her y she is out with him on e sly.. then she said cos her bf is too tough on her.. so she must sneak. in my heart i gave a cold laugh (len xiao) and was thinking of course la u cheated twice. then she said if he is not that strict she wouldn't do that. but the thing is wat being not strict has done to him?! anyway so contradicting. the worst thing is she doesn't feel any guilt. jus think it is fun. and have excuses to justify them (to her it is reasons to me excuses) it is so funny listening to every excuse to counter ur action. i mean though u have lots of excuses it doesn't make things morally right at all. so don't be dumb.

gosh too many things r running thru my head right now.. i must discuss with ppl about this to get the thoughts running right.. it is like i have a lot to say, but i can't say it out properly. anyway this is a case to case basis la.. ahahhaha.. means i might feel this way for her situation but if someone else is in this situation i might think otherwise. the thing is u know e ppl involved so it is easy to judge.