Up up and away

Feel so unhappy now. Totally cried all my way back...

Today, ok just now. My dad drove me and my sis to the airport. We were supposed to c her off. She is going to netherlands for exchange programme for around half a yr. Anyway we were supposed to meet my mum at the airport.

When we reached the airport, my dad wanted to see her off so he went to park his car. Anyway, in short my mum refused to have dinner with him. So it was like, the both of them going their separate ways but to the same place, it was really awkward for me and my sis. Totally like we have to choose sides. Later when we sat at the same table, my mum was totally back facing us. And I corner eye my sis she was crying me, which totally make me want to cry. Honestly, it is just a fucking dinner, can't we just have it in peace, and my sis is already leaving, my mum totally don't have to do this and make this all unhappy for us. my mum was like driving him to go. wat is wrong with him wanting to send his daughter off.

Honestly, I really can't take it. I honestly don't know whose side to take, and i m sick of taking sides. Honestly, it sounds like something small to ppl reading this, but ur totally would nv understand how me and my sis feel. At times, I don't even know why I am crying, but the tears and sadness just come so naturally. To not have a complete family is painful, no matter how many times you tell urself to come to terms to it, sometimes it is totally not possible. I am really very tired, home is not home anymore for a long long time...

Everytime when i feel slightly happier, things like this must happen. Y must i accept fate, y must i be subjected to this unhappiness. I still have to deal with cny alone w/o my sis this yr. I wish i could hide somewhere. I wish i could just disappear. I hate my birthday. I wish i was nv born! Honestly, no cause for celebration at all, everytime nearing my birthday something unhappy must happen. Gosh..

Don't worry I am fine, I will be fine. On a happier note, since my sis is not around, she left her bear to accompany me! My fav bear! Well at least i m not that alone. Anyway i m planning to stick my khalil fong poster on the wall. When she was around dare not do it, as i m afraid she will scold me or mock me. Now that she is gone for 6 months... Hee.. Anyway with my idol's poster on the wall I will not be that lonely, since she is not with me, at least he is with me. Hahahahhaa...