Honestly, I think i m pmsing.. but i really don't feel motivated to do any of the above. Remind me wat are we supposed to be working for again?! I wish i am able to find a job where i am passionate at. But i honestly don't know where my passion lies. Urgh!!! Remind me wat i am living for again?
Feeling super depressive. Honestly this feeling haven't come since JC. Urgh!!!!!!!
Actually when i went to taiwan last year it taught me to let go of certain things. But the downside of the trip was that I let go of too much. hahahha.. That I forgot to hang on to my motivation. Now that i let go of everything there is seriously not a single motivating factor for me to move on. Urgh!!!
Anyway today i realised i lose my motivation to work, cos when my boss reprimanded me i was jus stoning.. Totally didn't react, couldn't react. I really don't know what is wrong with me!!! ok the whole story is we were late from lunch. So he came and threatened me!!! He said i was performing very well at work, but issues such as this will affect his increment to me. Hahahhaha.. When he said that i jus laughed. I swear i didn't mean to.. But I jus felt ticklish.. ahhahhaha.. Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh. I know i was in the wrong, so i didn't bother rebutting. But usually i would have a bit of shame, as in normal circumstances after getting scolded i should feel pai sai, but i didn't felt anything, i didn't even feel angry! Gosh something is very wrong with me. If it was me in the past i would feel worried, now i honestly can't be bothered. Even if he slap me i think i will jus give him e same reaction. Gosh that's y i said i lost all my motivation. He should know that slacking occationally have never affected my work performance, but well.. I know I am wrong!
what i am trying to say is what he say is not going to make me perform better or worse, increment doesn't affect my performance at all. As in I am seriously not a lazy worker, i wouldn't dare admit that i am not a slacker, but i have always did my best at work regardless of pay, increment, thank you or no thank you, to me it is just work, since i am paid, as a respect to my job i will work hard, complete what i am supposed to do at my very best. That has always been what i believe, so to threaten me is seriously funny to me. Jus because he give me lesser it doesn't mean that i wouldn't perform. Ok but this doesn't means i am motivated to do well, i jus do it because it is my job, it doesn't matter whether i llike doing it or not, i jus do it well. I am just a robot. Feeling super robotic! Please give me my human traits back!!!
Anyway to sidetrack. Khalil Fong is having a concert in Malaysia!!! Really want to go! hahahha.. Must go back to the root to solve the problem(note: e reason y i went to taiwan is for his concert hahahha.. rubbish!!! i am crapping, totally trying to frame(blame) someone else for my uselessness) root of all evil is actually me, i just want an excuse to go. Hope sl can go too... Then i can go. If she doesn't go i won't go, can't go alone, don't want to go alone, without her there won't be fun..
