Yesterday went to watch hide and seek with sl. It was a great movie. V scary and exciting. It is a thriller. V nice show! Really nice being out to watch movie. on e way hm, we saw xy and her bf (adam) Well he seems to look better on photo. Hee.. that is wat me and sl tot.

Anyway today o'level results. My sis did well. Don't know whether to slap her or to clap for her. To slap her cos she send me an sms saying she win me v happy and an sms showing off her results. Clap for her cos she did v well. I know i should be happy for her. To some extent i m. But couldn't help feeling worried and scared for my results. And worse still e comparison from my mom. Feel v pressurize. But honestly i can't do anything abt it now. I hate being compared! Hate being compared to anyone! Y couldn't my sis did maybe jus as well as me. Feel so.. Inferior and afraid. Imagine she is celebrating and next wk i may be crying... Feel so worried. I sound so much like an evil sis. Hee.. Maybe this will become my motivation. I remember y i did well in sec sch. Cos my dad one day told a long distance relative that my sis is smarter than me, that i m quite dumb. My dad said that cos he was unhappy abt my psle results. I know it is supposed to be harmless, but i felt hurt. Really motivated me to study... Hai.. So worried..

yesterday went out with lay ping and ziwei. Had fun shopping with them. This ziwei ah.. V impulsive go into every shop oso can find sth she like. And ah.. Really can spend money. Hee.. Bought a pair of shoes, and a top. Hmm.. Realise my clothes really colourful. Hee.. But young ma.. Should wear more colourful clothes. Or else when old le.. May not dare to wear. Ppl will say u not acting like ur age. Hee.. Lp bought 2 pairs of shoe. Will it is a lot but if can wear for long it is worth it.

Saw ziwei's boyfriend. Well me and lay ping still have reservations abt him. We will jus wait and c. Hope things turn out well for ziwei this time!

Oh later i accompanied lp to west mall. Cos poor hua got held up at hm. Cos of his dad's fren. Poor hua! He seems so guilty. Nvm hua.. Lp got me! Hee... Oh got gossip at west mall! Hee.. we saw lam and cindy together! Hee.. That lam ah.. A bit cartoon. Actually me and lp didn't c him. Then he came up and say hi to us. It took some time for both of us to register who he was. Hee.. At first i still tot he is lp fren who i don't know. then look look found him rather familar. Then at last it came to me that he was lam. Hee.. Then later both of them ran away without an explanation. Hee.. So funny..

Results r coming! good luck!

Feeling kind of nervous that e results r coming. This feeling haven't totally kicked in yet, cos basically they haven't announce when e results will be coming. But feeling v worried and scared. This time i really don't think i can make it. This time the feeling is so strong that i don't know wat to do. The irony of everything is i know this time i would do badly, but i haven't truly believe in my backup plan. Honestly if i fail this time, i really don't know wat to do.

I don't want to cry! I don't want to regret this path i have taken two years ago. I don't want to laugh at myself in the future for crying now. For feeling so sad. This is jus a small step. Even if i fail it would be a small failure. I want myself so much to believe this. But i m afraid i may not be able to do that.

For people who r reading this, please don't ask me my results. Please give me some time alone. When i feel brave enough i will tell u myself. And please don't spread my results if ur know it.

A selfish thought but i really don't want to fail alone. If it is possible i hope everyone can pass together, but honestly if i fail i don't want to fail it alone. I don't want to feel helpless and lonely. This two emotions r strong emotions that i don't want to feel. Feeling helpless is bad enough. But feeling that nobody can understand u that is the worst. Although my mom says it is ok if i fail. But i doubt she really means it. Afterall, i don't think she actually truly believe that i will fail. Hopefully a wk from now ur would hear happy news from me. The hope is little, but i hope a miricle happens.

To those o'level students.. Good luck! Don't aim too high, then ur won't feel too sad.

Went shopping with lay ping and ziwei yesterday. Before that went to JJ's love fiesta. Love fiesta was crowded nth else other than that Hee..

Went crystal jade with e class, it was ok. Get to chat with ppl who i haven't talk to for a long time it was rather fun.

Chat a lot with lay ping and ziwei. Felt nice chatting with them. It is so funny can c lay ping everyday and yet we have so much to talk abt. Haha.. This is call girls are san ba, so got lots of things to talk abt.

Today went to have dinner with my pri sch buddies. Samuel and minli. We had a simple dinner at fish and co at JP.

Hee.. Shouldn't have ordered that hard to cut swordfish. E serving were quite huge for me. Basically 3 huge fish. Well it was really hard to cut. Remember not to order it for a date with ur darling. Hee.. cause basically e fish might fly when u cut it! Hee.. Anyway thanks to samuel for helping me cut the fish and finishing e food. Thanks minli for helping me finish e food too. It was really a lot.

The baked rice oso have a lot of sotong in it. So funny. Last time i ate at fish and co e baked rice no sotong one! Hee.. Anyway e food was really filling for me. Next time can consider goin there again.

Well now after talking abt e food i shall talk abt e ppl. Hee.. Well i don't think anyone have really changed much. Samuel is still e same guy. Seems a bit awkward at times and sensitive to wat ppl say to him. But basically a v kind hearted, generous, funny person. Minli well she is still v frank, interested in fashion, practical, realistic, ambitious person. Hee.. Felt v comfortable being with them! Really have to have more such outings. There were times were there were nothing to talk abt, but really it was ok.

Hee.. yesterday someone sang me 2 love songs at nite..

Haha.. it is not my lover la.. It is my fren mei hui. She joining singing competition so ask me to help her decide wat song to sing for it. Well, she really sang e ah du song well. Honestly! Hee.. Hope she does well for e competition! Anyway it is jus an experience take it easy! Many ppl wouldn't dare joining this competition.

Yesterday at work rather funny. The boss toh walk behind me and ask me if things were ok. He walked v quietly, i was thinking if i should reject the part. Then when he talked i got a shock and jumped up. U know the kind when ur shoulder jump up when u get a shock. Anyway, when he saw me jump up he got a shock too. Then say i scare him. But he was the one who scared me first! Hee.. so funny..

Today i m sick, leaving lp at work all alone. Hai.. really terrible. Suffering from i don't know wat too. Jus feel like vomiting and keep having diahorrea. Hate vomitting! Hai.. everytime chinese new year will oso get sick..

Happy new year

Ok haven't been online for a long time. Busy celebrating new year with relatives and friends. Played mahjong. Lost some money. Hee.. But basically not much loss. Cos it is not my money! It is my mom's money. Nothing interesting happened. Except that all my cousins grew a lot bigger. Oh ya one of my cousin likes fei yu qing. I don't know y. But well really funny! Oh i oso fell sick during e chinese new year. I don't know y either.. Not cos i m too heaty. But keep having stomach ache and fever. Maybe it was e food i ate. Ok have a happy new year.

Now it is midnight so officially celebrated my bday at ktv last night. It was fun. Crazy girls together. Had fun singing. Basically kept holding on to e mike.

Hee.. when we sang tuo diao, we strip mh. It was unsuccessful only managed to c her panties. Haha.. Actually don't remember anything much. so well.. Jus that had fun. Thanks guys.. Thank evon, mh, joyce for present. Well thanks for forgetting then remembering my bday. At least some felt guilty for forgetting. Hee.. Sorry if i made ur feel guilty. Had fun..

Oh ya mh really sang like ah du. Had so much enjoyment hearing her sing... So funny. She can sing jj song like ah du song! really pro! Really nice to hear... Sing ta xi ding hen ai ni again! i want to hear! Hee..

To xinyi and see yee... ur still owe me present ah! Not pai sai ah.. receive present nv give back. Hee.. kidding la..

TO KOK MENG

Read his blog and realise he have boy-girl relationship again. So here to dedicate sth to him. u know at times u feel scared abt sth, and after doing it u feel that u will nv do it again. But after that u forget then u do it again. My example of this experience is getting my hair cut. After i had my hair cut i always feel tat i will nv let any1 cut my hair again. But then i forget and get excited abt getting my hair cutted. I think relationships and love is like that. U think u may nv be able to forget her, but then one day u will forget her and be with someone else again. So kok meng don't be so troubled..

At times relationships between people is scary. At times u r so easily replaced. People take things for granted. Especially if that sth is always there for them. I think in my life i have always loved more than i have been loved in return. Whether it is friends or family. At times when these ppl take u for granted, u swear to forget them, but that is hard to do. U either really forget them or fall deeper, can nv forget them. Don't take e ppl around u for granted, maybe if they disappear u may miss them a lot. Maybe u will take for granted wat ur love ones do, whether it is listen to u complain, cook for u, or jus always there going shopping with u. Don't forget them.

Wonder wat would happen if i disappear. Will anyone miss me? Maybe i have been replaced in some ppl's heart. Lay ping once say that she thinks e ppl who r closest to her will be e ppl she will be last with her uni frens. I didn't think it was true when she first say that, cos to me, it is so scary that ppl can replace another person so easily. Maybe it is true relationships r so easily replaced. Maybe u r first with that person cos of the "freshness" of being with that person. To kok meng, maybe that person will one day be replaced with someone else, so don't be sad.

YESTERDAY'S CHALET
It started off ok. with ppl jus waking up and me waking ppl up. Hey elin, sorry for waking u up. It got fun after awhile.

First me yik, xiwen, layping went mac. Then we kind of chat, it was a pleasant chat. Talking abt our job and stuff.. Really fun. Later we cycle back. Haha.. on our way to e chalet, that lp's bro call and ask when she coming back, then i answer and tell him, i got no food, i not his mom. haha..

Well later we went to help buy food. But well, we were not much help. Hee.. 8 ppl buying food for 20ppl that seems a bit ridiculous. Hee..

After that we went to e room and play mahjong. Haha.. basically except elin, me xw and yik were kind of idiots in mahjong. haha.. Later play uno stacko on e bed with anlin, yik and xw. It was really fun! So exciting. We laughed so hard e thing keep shaking. We were a noisy gang upstairs. Had a lot of fun cycling with anlin and xw. Anlin always v fast.

Anyway later we went cycling with anlin, elin, and ee teck. We cycle till e end. e furthest i have been so far. On e way back elin fell. Her fall was quite bad. We saw blood coming out from her nose. So scary! I didn't know wat to do luckily anlin was there. I think she wanted to answer her phone or sth, then she jus fell. Gave us a huge shock. She was like semi conscious, during some point of time like almost faint. Ee teck carried her to the toilet while i look after e bike. Luckily anlin was there to look after her, or else we would be in trouble, i wouldn't have known wat to do. except maybe to scream for help. Hee.. anyway those funny guys want to go save ppl. 3 tried running here. We were at bedok jetty there, which was v far from e chalet, then e other one cycle in e wrong direction. haha.. don't know wat to say abt them. Managed to help elin back. on e way took taxi back to chalet.

Later at abt midnight, my dad called and have to go home le. so have to rush home. Then e ppl at e chalet started singing birthday song. Haha.. it was a funny scene, me rushing out, they singing bday song. Didn't manage to cut e cake they bought.

Thanks guys for everything, for celebrating my bday with me. Thanks for not putting toothpaste on my face! Maybe some of e guys didn't remember my bday, but at least they sang a loud bday song for me. Thanks lay ping and yan hua for e present! i haven't seen it yet, but i m sure i will like it. Thanks elin for organising e chalet thing. Thanks liling and ying hui for messaging me happy bday. Haha.. Thanks all these JC frens for remembering my bday. Thanks a lot!

AFTER CHALET
Went to geylang to buy tao hua. Complicated place. Saw lots of hookers. Well man and their sexual wants. Anyway tao hua v nice to eat. But well makes me think really complicated place. Every girl who is decent looking if u jus go there eat ppl will think that u r a hooker. Makes me think abt ppl and their sterotype. Don't really like ppl who sterotype other. Well i have to admit i sterotype some ppl too. But if possible try not to. Try to truly understand e person. Maybe e traits u sterotype abt that person is quite true, but well there may still be other things abt e person u don't know. To guess a person's character e first time is not easy. ppl often remember others weaknessess more than their strength. I will try hard to don't do that. Well another issue. Can't understand how ppl can sell themselves for money. Maybe cos i have been in a relatively fortunate family where i don't have to face with much money issues. Well hopefully i will nv have to betray myself for money in e future.

ABOUT PRESENTS
Well i received a teenage soul bk from lp and yan hua. Thanks again. interesting bk. Hee.. My sis gave me a bracelet that is really nice to.. love it!

ABOUT BIRTHDAYS
Hee.. lp once ask me if i would be angry if e ppl forget abt my bday. I won't be angry, jus hurt that they didn't remember. Well to me now it is e only impt date in my life. I mean i have not married so no wedding anniversary to remember. Haha.. so it is to me an important thing. Well lp oso asked me if i would rather remind ppl of my bday or have them forgetting my bday. I would say neither. Haha.. Those ppl who treat u importantly will nv forget ur bday. I nv seen my dad forgetting my mom's bday. And i don't remember my family forgetting my bday. I didn't remind some ppl abt my bday. To test how much i m to them. Well, ur know e answers. Thanks for those ppl who remembered.

Feeling rather moody. maybe cos i m old already! haha.. maybe bcos of my pms. Well i don't know.

Update on today. Got to work today. The boss toh was really funny. he wanted me to help him push e trolley of gds to a place, then later he wanted to carry e goods up. E goods r basically in big big boxes that covers ur whole upper body. Anyway he wanted to carry e goods up to e 2nd floor imagine he is e size of mr kwok. Hee.. except that he is slimmer. Anyway he is really small size. he wanted to move e goods up when he could use e lift haha.. So who says all boss r smart.

Later when to e storeroom to get hot water to drink. Anyway i didn't on e light so didn't know that there is an auto dispense button, painfully pressing e button on top. Ai yo.. super slow. Luckily mr ong told me. Mr ong is a really nice guy. He v helpful, always buys as lunch. (Ps. he is not mh or lp's father and this again prove that ongs r invading singapore, but ok la... all e ongs i know r nice)

Later got data entry job. basically have to enter e data i wrote yesterday. my handwriting is basically hideous. So trying to figure out wat i wrote. Basically made a mistake without realising it. I was suppose to arrange e data, but in e end i mess in up in e computer.

Got so many pimples since working! Must be bcos e ppl dare always feed me with heaty food. I m getting fat, thanks to them. Hee.. not really la.. pants a bit tight only. But lots of pimples! Ya must complain. that gurdian sales woman e moment i get in ah she said sth like wat r u looking for. For pimple cream? I know my pimple v big la. I don't know whether to be amused or angry at her tactlessness. Not everyone like to face e reality of their pimples. Hee..