Up up and away

Feel so unhappy now. Totally cried all my way back...

Today, ok just now. My dad drove me and my sis to the airport. We were supposed to c her off. She is going to netherlands for exchange programme for around half a yr. Anyway we were supposed to meet my mum at the airport.

When we reached the airport, my dad wanted to see her off so he went to park his car. Anyway, in short my mum refused to have dinner with him. So it was like, the both of them going their separate ways but to the same place, it was really awkward for me and my sis. Totally like we have to choose sides. Later when we sat at the same table, my mum was totally back facing us. And I corner eye my sis she was crying me, which totally make me want to cry. Honestly, it is just a fucking dinner, can't we just have it in peace, and my sis is already leaving, my mum totally don't have to do this and make this all unhappy for us. my mum was like driving him to go. wat is wrong with him wanting to send his daughter off.

Honestly, I really can't take it. I honestly don't know whose side to take, and i m sick of taking sides. Honestly, it sounds like something small to ppl reading this, but ur totally would nv understand how me and my sis feel. At times, I don't even know why I am crying, but the tears and sadness just come so naturally. To not have a complete family is painful, no matter how many times you tell urself to come to terms to it, sometimes it is totally not possible. I am really very tired, home is not home anymore for a long long time...

Everytime when i feel slightly happier, things like this must happen. Y must i accept fate, y must i be subjected to this unhappiness. I still have to deal with cny alone w/o my sis this yr. I wish i could hide somewhere. I wish i could just disappear. I hate my birthday. I wish i was nv born! Honestly, no cause for celebration at all, everytime nearing my birthday something unhappy must happen. Gosh..

Don't worry I am fine, I will be fine. On a happier note, since my sis is not around, she left her bear to accompany me! My fav bear! Well at least i m not that alone. Anyway i m planning to stick my khalil fong poster on the wall. When she was around dare not do it, as i m afraid she will scold me or mock me. Now that she is gone for 6 months... Hee.. Anyway with my idol's poster on the wall I will not be that lonely, since she is not with me, at least he is with me. Hahahahhaa...

Telepathic waves really works

Actually really feel like going out lately, but because i want to save some money to go travelling(don't ask me where i am going, i got no idea, i jus feel like leaving here), so i tot i wouldn't ask anyone out, but i was kind of praying that people would ask me out so i would have an excuse to go out. hahahha.. I realised i might not be making sense to some people...

Anyway decided to send some telepathic to elin.. hahaha.. want to go shopping. so i was kind of sending strong brain wave to her asking her to ask me out soon. I was going to give her till next wk to ask me, well guess what?! she called me jus now to ask me out.. hahhahaha.. gosh brain wave really works!!!

I wonder if it will work on someone i like. I am not trying to say there is someone i like at the moment, cos this person doesn't exist yet. Well, if i were to send enough brain wave to make him like me, would he? ahhahahhahaha.. Childish crap again and i was talking about 转型. damn! failing so badly at it. Maybe i will do it next yr. ahhahah..

Anyway my Dec blues are quite gone. I am quite happy go lucky lately. Let's c how long it will last.

Work & Politics

I am honestly rather pissed off right now. New year resolution to Ji some kou de(accumulate some kou de, not be so mean) is totally going down the drain today.

Yesterday i was on MC, when i came back i realised some receiving could not reconcile. Then some reconcilition and replies to cust is a bit weird. Anyway I kind of found out(don't ask me how i find out she is not exactly a smart person) she replied to some cust w/o letting me know. In other words, she is not adding me in the email correspondence. I am angry because, how am i supposed to get my job done, if you don't let me know what is going on, honestly it happened quite a few times. I hate it when people play politics this way and caused you to not getting your job done. Don't get me into trouble.

I can't stand it when things like this happen. Firstly, cause honestly she is not smart enough(to put it bluntly she is an idiot) to play politics like that, get discovered the next day, totally what's the point. Secondly, do whatever you want, i couldn't care less, you can try to guard me, but since i am able to do my job so well, it will be quite hard for you, again you are not smart enough, so use all your energy and brain juice to deal with me please, you can try, but i don't think you will ever get near. Thirdly, honestly, she is such a joker. ahhahahha.. idiot. Lastly, i couldn't be bothered.

It is at times like these when i really want to go for a trip. I want to leave all this crap behind. I honestly wouldn't retaliate cause i don't want to play politics, you can try getting me to enter it, but i wouldn't enter no matter what. To stoop to your level is seriously pathetic. It is really not the work that is affecting me, it is all this crap people are doing to try to make you angry or hinder your work. Honestly couldn't understand y some people are that evil and jealous. Instead of getting jealous, they should jus improve on their own duties to get recognised. Make so much stupid mistake still want to hai other people. You couldn't even do your job properly, care about people's job for wat. I honestly want to leave. Sometimes it is not good being your boss's pet in everyone's eyes.


I have to admit i say evil and mean things about people at times, but wat about this people? who do mean and evil things. Are we bad or are they worse. I cannot control my anger and hence my evil mouth, but i would never retailiate in any way to people like that. I hate it when i am labelled as bitchy, this people can do such things and get away with hurting you and when you say mean things about them you are bitchy. I just need to get it out of my system, what's wrong with that? Anyway whatever la.. I am so past caring.

Wedding, pri sch gatherings

Attended a pri sch fren's wedding last sat. Really wish them happiness! It is really great to be able to find someone who you love and love you back. Honestly, it is the best thing that could happen to a person! So I wish them eternal happiness and I hope they are able to know how to treasure, love and respect each other.

Met some pri sch frens on sun.. really was quite fun. Get to catch up on their lives and able to be with them is jus happiness. Hope that we are able to meet again soon.

Merry Christmas

Ok this post is not written on christmas, but wanted to update, but didn't have the time


The Cd I bought for christmas as a christmas present to myself. It is really a very good CD. Makes me reminisce about my time in taiwan. This was the concert i went to, but i went to the taiwan. Well, it drove away some of my dec blues i guess, but i still feel very "not here" if you know what I mean.

Anyway, this christmas i really want to thank the people in my life for always being there for me. So I bought presents to express my thanks. Honestly, it wasn't very costly and the presents could never express my gratitute enough. Thanks for being there for me! And i will always be there for your too!

P.S. I bought this CD for SL, she was really suprised, she didn't even know it was out. Hee.. I am really glad i could give her a pleasant surprise for once. At last i got it right once! Anyway she being pleasantly surprise makes me feel happy too.

Anyway this christmas i managed to meet a lot of people who i love(friends). Honestly, feel very blessed to have them by my side. I really enjoy doning night on christmas eve with elin, xw & hq. It was really fun, though tiring. It is like we nv stop talking. And all the funny stories that you guys shared and the heartfelt thoughts. Glad that you guys are in my life.. We must do this more often and not only during christmas!!!

New Year Resolution

Be a better friend, better daughter, better sister and stop crapping!

My yearly horoscope says that i must be wary of what i say this year. Because 祸从口出 would happen to me very easily. Honestly this isn't the first year i have received this warning. So basically, aquarius are people who easily offend people by what they say.

Anyway, I am thinking of 转型 this year. Realised that if i continue being so "loony" I will scare all guys away and I will have to be single all my life. Hahaha.. And I was still talking about wanting to be single, till i meet "the one". Hhahaha.. No la, I am not going to 转型 just because of meeting a guy la, cause sooner or later i will show my true colours and he will be scared away too. Hahahha.

I just think that as we grow older we must start behaving more like adults, i don't want people to say that I am childish at 30. But honestly I think I will never learn how to change. I am totally not succeeding in 转型 at the moment. hahaha..

Ok 转型is really a joke! I am not some celebrity 转设什么型. Hahaha.. Anyway if i am really quiet this year you know why. Gosh I can really crap!