A boring person afraid of getting bored

Recently feel a bit depressed. maybe it is pms.. maybe it is me being confused about my life. Maybe it is me being afraid of what my life is turning into.

Asked myself this 2 question and I will automatically be depressed. What kind of person are you? What kind of life do you want to live? I feel so undecided about what i want! Did a personality test recently. Apparently I am a dove, peacock. A dove represents stability, peace. A peacock on the other hand represent materialism, wanting to live extraordinarily. Two very contradicting features in a person. hahhaha.. this sounds like i m half man half monster. anyway that is not the point. I really don't know what i want and i m honestly getting sick of not knowing. If i have a stable life will i be happy with it? if i have an interesting life would it be too interesting for me to take? gosh...

Recently very depressed also because i m very bored of my life. As in, it is fun meeting my dear old good frens, but i want to meet new people too... All of a sudden i really feel like i m a very boring person. Everyone's life sounds more exciting than mine. I m sick of this state i m in, but then i don't want to do anything to change it. My sis asked me if i were envious of her life, cos it is relatively more exciting than mine, honestly kind of, but not really also.. I like listening about her life, but i don't think i can live it.. Of course i m envious of my sister, she is smart, pretty, have lots of confidence.. she is the kind everyone wants to know and i m the one fading in the background. but well she is smart because she works hard, pretty sometimes i don't really think so.. as in it is her confidence that makes her beautiful.. her ability to flirt subconsciously. hahahha.. I think if you think u r beautiful u would be.. I guess the only thing i m envious of is her confidence ba.. Don't really know how come she can be so thick skinned sometimes.. And i love her decision making skills.. she is so decisive unlike me...

hmm... I am contented with my life in general. now i m at a confuse phrase i guess... i wish somebody could tell me wat to do! Honestly i wonder if i would be happier being a puppet. doing wat everyone expects of me..

Gosh i guess it is retribution. someone once told me perfect is boring. i told him i rather be bored. guess that wat is happening to me now. stuck in a boring life! urgh! hmmm.. actually my boring life oso attributes to the ppl i have been meeting recently. it is like i realised i have a lot of boring frens. frens who sometimes i don't even want to talk to cos i would get completely bored by wat they say. hee.. but i think the only reason y i think they r boring is cos recently i kind of meet ppl with "interesting" life. as in life different fr mine.. gosh... urgh.. if i m goin to work in accts i will meet more boring ppl! ahhhh... feel like fainting. gosh.. hope i snap out of this soon!

commencement ceremony

yest went for elin's commencement ceremony.. hee.. as clementi doesn't have a florist. had to go wet market to buy her e sunflowers she like. almost tripped in e wet market.. ahhahah.. and e smell was of raw meat. ok anyway wanted to buy a stalk. but well e stalk was like asleep. so bought her e flower arrangement de which was for like table setting so it looks kind of awkward. hahahaha.. gosh.. went there. so funny elin couldn't find her parents. but i managed to spot her parents b4 her. i think i only saw them once, so was quite surprised that i can recognise them... gosh..

So we took photo and took food. ahhahahhaha.. we seem to be there to take photo and eat only. but it was quite fun la.. when i threw e plates i think i used too much strength a fork bounce out and hit somebody. hee.. after that bought a graduation bear for elin. e bear was super cute! anyway elin decided to name him tou mao gui.. hahahah. i think i suggested that.

Went holland v had crystal jade and ice cream. after that coffee bean. gosh it was completely a eating day. had a lot of fun chatting. time really seems to pass super quickly when i m with them. after than elin and i went shopping at marina.. bought things.. but elin left home empty handed. gosh when we went to zara a girl suddenly came to hug elin. gave us a shock. hahahha. turns out to be elin's best fren. and she recognise me but i recognise her too, cos elin got show us pic b4.. hahahahha.. gosh.. had ichiban for dinner. really nice.. hee.. anyway had fun..

2/7 out with teresa 5/7 out with elin and gang

gosh.. really haven't seen teresa for a long time.. well had a lot to catch up on. really spent a lot of time chatting. went to sushi tei for dinner. the food was really yummy. this time round i really think the food is good. had fun...

went out on sat with elin, xw, yik to essential brews. really fun chatting.. we went to our fav crystal jade b4 that. but e food at crystal jade i think standard not as good as b4... maybe had imperial so find it not so nice, maybe it was jus tat day e cook ba.. cos e other time at jp was still quite nice. e finger food and apple crumble at essential brews were still v delicious.

anyway had fun there. met dave there. was really funny. i told xw, yik and elin i think tat guy over there looks like dave, then i keep saying hen xiang hor? then elin said the only reason y that guy hen xiang dave is because he is dave. hee... elin confirmed my suspicion. hahahha... dave was there with his gf. elin and i decided to suan dave. had fun suaning him.. ahhahahaha.. so evil anyway ya..

gosh have been meeting up with everyone except my sec sch frens. gosh when is sl and mh coming back fr aus?! i kind of miss them and of course xinyi... xinyi is always so funny.. no matter wat she says she is so funny! and joyce is always so random. see yee always join in e fun... gosh.. really miss them a lot.

anyway recently i did sth really stupid! urgh! i really reminded myself b4 it that i won't say.. but somehow e more u don't want to do something e more u will accidentally do it.. gosh i was really so stupid, and u have every right to be angry. gosh.. if anything goes wrong i really will jus be guilty for e rest of my life.. i m so sorry! but sorry is not enough, it will nv make up for wat i have done.. gosh... could u jus slap me or sth.. maybe i sld jus die! gosh.... i really don't know wat to do now.. jus pray that everything will be fine.. gosh i m such a jinx! ahhh.. i really hate myself!

1/7 majhong at sam's place

went for a mj session at sam's place.. sam was supposed to cook for us. but i think he didn't want to try knowing that he will fail. so instead he bought us dim sum. not bad.. anyway he made us desert, brownies.. Brownies was really delicious. he is really good at making brownies. the mj session was really fun... at first the liu sisters keep winning so sam and i decided to create a secret code to beat them. hahahha.. towards the end i win small but won a bit. hee.. better to win small than to win nothing at all. had funny listening to music and chatting. realised lots of jjc ppl lying around. jia min, sam, amanda and me were all fr jjc. then sam, amanda and me were fr rono. hee.. gosh. oh btw amanda is sam's sis. haven't seen her since pri sch but she kind of still looks e same. hee..

29/6 went out with minli

Went for dinner with minli, samuel and alan. went to the equilateral minli and alan was drinking there. they ordered 10shots. hahahah.. hmm.. nice place, but well not my kind of place. didn't like it much. went to mos for food. e food was not bad. hmmm.. had a nice time chatting with them.. hee.. always fun with them.

28/6 with daphne

went out with daphne today. asked siong and kelvin along. hmm.. first time out with the 2 guys. first time i met kelvin. kelvin is e mkting temp. anyway kelvin was quite a funny guy. very easy to talk to. we went to ktv, but he refused to sing. siong kept singing. anyway after that me daphne and kelvin went to have tao hwa at this place. can't remember e name, but it was really nice, but v scary. cos we were eating at some back alley and there were rats, cockroaches and scary pest. anyway a grp of guys damn niang! when they came they started moving to another table cos of e pest. then they were like ewww.. ahhahahha.. so funny.

after that went to watch a midnight movie. gosh. daphne and kelvin fell asleep during e movie. it was e zohan was supposedly a super funny movie. but it was honestly quite lame. hee.. had fun.. was really tired though..

25/6 went out with kathy

met up with kathy and ann ling. really had a nice time with them. we chat a lot. anyway ann ling is a jal stewardess.. told us stories about stewardess and others. quite interesting. anyway kathy's parents drove me home. hee.. went home with the entire family. they went to their grandma place as usual. They still remember me gosh.. after such a long time. was really touched. still remember where i stay and stuff.. gosh.. really felt like they r a very nice family

7th day and 8th day

today is shopping day! went to shinjuku and shibuya and harujuku. nice place. bought a lot of stuff. we wanted to visit this shrine in shinjuku then it turns out to be a cemetery. hee.. i think in japan there isn't a term as cemetery. hee.. cos a cemetery is also called a shrine.

on the last day we walked around ginza area really cool. it was kind of like orchard road. hmm.. the next time i go japan i really want to go yokohama. yokohama seems like a really nice sight seeing place.. the last few days was quite nice. hee.. had fun...

Anyway didn't take many picture. don't really like taking pictures and e camera kind of spoil halfway. hee.. The taiwanese tour guide was really nice really like her a lot. she really went an extra mile. called us during our free and easy day to check if we were fine. really nice.. hmm.. i like japan. don't mind goin back

6th day

Kind of the last day with the tour group. went to the shopping mall with them. managed to get fancl stuff.. hee.. after tat accompany them to the airport and bid them farewell. actually we could have venture off on our own. but felt a bit bu she.. and oso a bit afraid. as in the schedule was previously planned by the agency.. all of a sudden must start thinking and planning ourselves, honestly i felt a bit lazy. totally don't like thinking.. honestly it was really exhausting at the 6th day was already very tired. anyway tat night we went to tokyo tower.. really pretty!!! hee.. really love tokyo tower. anyway it is supposedly taller then the french's effiel tower, suddenly realised the effiel tower isn't tat tall after all. hee.. really tired so we went back early to the hotel to rest

5th day

Hmm.. e tour is nearing the end.. feel a bit sad and kind of want to go home oso. hahahahha.. anyway today we went to disneyland. Disneyland was not really crowded as compared as it usually is. We took quite a number of rides and we looked at the shows too. really like splash mountain and winnie e pooh. Winnie the pooh was really the best! I heard it is the most popular ride there. the japanese like the ride a lot. hmm.. but a bit of a pity couldn't stay for the firework display. i heard it will be the best. anyway in e future if i ever go japan i will not go on tour ba. would go disney again and look at the fireworks. Bought some souvenirs from disney for myself. the food was quite good. as in quite delicious and well the things were quite special. That night when for a drink with my sis and 2 guys fr the tour. the conversation with them was really quite ok. nv tot i could talk to strangers well, but i didn't think i talk that much, jus listen more. but the conversation was really quite entertaining v funny.

4th day

Went up to the fifth level of mount fuji. Mount fuji is really beautiful. really cold there. hahahah.. heard in july or aug can try climbing mount fuji. they gave us a bell. the bell is for luck and blessings. quite interesting. hahahha.. feel very 'blessed' in japan.

In the noon we went to the aeon mall. there was a statue of liberty there.. the statue was really small. went shopping. bought a bit of stuff. hee.. after that had tako yaki for lunch.. super delicious! really taste much better than sg! After that we went on a ride on the boat. The rainbow bridge was super beautiful. the view was really breathtaking. really nice.

At the night we went for bbq. the food was really not bad. hahaha.. ate a lot. at the end of the day when we reached the hotel my mum and sis had to go to e toilet. abandoned me with the luggage, fortunately another guy and e tour guide helped me.. gosh.. felt so awkward with 3 luggages. really didn't know wat to do. it is like starting to panic when they haven't come out of e toilet after so long and everyone left with their luggage.