jogging today

supposed to go jogging at 7.30. then i kind of overslept. hahaha.. it was weird. wat woke me up was a dream abt me supposing to meet sl to jog. hahaha.. i literally jump up. sl oso she overslept a bit, then dreamt that it was sat then jump up. gosh, in e end we didn't jog. cos she had blocked nose. and seriously i don't have e strength to jog. but i think we walked abt 5km.. hahaha.. ok maybe a bit exaggerating. but well my legs kind of hurt now.

after that we went to mac to have bagel. which is quite nice. chat a lot there.. then went ntuc to buy groccesories.. hahaha.. sl was buying grocesseries. i was buying tidbits.. hahahah.. then u know wat happened! i overspent! kind of didn't have money to pay for the stuff. ok fortunately sl lent me. cos we went jogging so i didn't bring a lot of cash with me mah.. didn't expect to spend to so much. in e end the tidbits i bought more ex than sl's meat, fish and vege! gosh i m terrible. hahahah..

then me and sl were talking. in e future if i get married.. u know most housewife, will somehow save on household expenses (家用）and save it to become 私房钱 si fang qian. in e end i sure 倒贴 私房钱 tao tie si fang qian to buy food. gosh i can't believe i will be those stupid housewife. as in those u know not so ji ling housewife. gosh gosh.. hahahha.. then sl was saying. i will walk down the aisle of supermarket then say this one my son like, that one my daughter like, the other one my husband like... hahahaha.. excuses to buy a lot.. gosh gosh.. so funny!

29. I don't think i m a stingy person, but neither m i a generous person. hahahaha.. but one thing for sure. i m a person who really know how to spend money, though i m quite good at saving too. always feel u earn money to spend, so spend without burdan. or else in the future.. sure wouldn't have e chance. in e future u will be thinking ur son's edu fees, this and that.. well troublesome..

30. when i read abt liling and jeff saying they don't like to bathe. i realised i don't like to either.. hahahaha.. gosh.. me and sl were saying if we shave our heads sure v ugly. cos got a lot of pimple scar on the head. yup... i even have pimple on my head. i think is cos i m a dirty person. though i hate to admit this.. hahahhaa.. i would only spend like 20min batheing at most. don't like to waste my time bathing..
hahhaa.. let's c if i can make this to a hundred.

being tagged

Rule of the game: each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

ok ok.. i don't think i have any secrets or weird habits if i do.. i must have told everyone already.. hahahaha.. cos i really can't keep secrets.

1. Secrets makes me go high. hahahha.. gosh i really hate keeping secrets cos i m not good at keeping them. i m kind of afraid someone will catch me sleeptalking telling someone's secret, but i really like secrets.. hahaha.. cos they made me feel included. ok i m really nosy. can't help it... don't try to tao my hua abt secrets ok.. my lips r sealed!

2. As i said above i m nosy. so during sec sch we had this teacher giving all graduating classes' student title. then i got most caring award. hahaha.. i guess to put it in a nice way i m caring but well.. hahahha.. oh ya the male who won this award is someone u all know chua yew wei. yucks! i guess the teachers were not really accurate in this sense.. (hahahha.. yew wei kidding la, u r caring, jus not caring to me so well not accurate to me)

3. I was one of the exco members of the student councillor board in sec sch. i was the head of outreach. seriously till today i don't know wat the dept outreach is even for and i always pon the meetings.. hahahhaa..i hate wasting my time at meetings. listen to ppl talk crap! i got better things to do! i think i will jus sleep in the meeting in the future. the only reason y i think i got elected. is bcos there were a lot of politic with e vice president and some members. i got caught in the middle trying to be a peacemaker. but well it failed and i sort of benefitted fr all this. hahahha..

4. I hate being peacemaker. but somehow i m always in this situation. hahaha.. This is not a good situation to be in because i m a very easily swayed person. when someone say sth i will agree then when someone else say something else i would oso agree to. then i would get caught in a weird situation. sometimes i m a 2 headed snake! ah.. and i hate that.

5. I am very sensitive to how my friends treat me. hmmm.. don't know how to explain it. cos i think i m quite a sincere good fren. so if u r not loyal or don't treat me well, i m kinda get calculating. i will appreciate every small things ppl do.. seriously i think i live for my frens, and maybe my mom and sis. without them i m nothing. that's y they matter a lot to me. so if u treat me like rubbish, i will treat u like garbage.

6. I was quite a big bully during sec 1.. i treated some ppl quite mean. seriously i don't know y and i don't remember wat i did (selective memory) hahaha.. it was a past i don't want to remember. but well must apologize to these ppl once again.

7. Hated J1 life the most. felt like i was being bullied all the time. it was the most depressing memory of all time. seriously wanted to jus die, or wanted everyone in jc to jus die.. hahahahha.. oh no i m evil. i supposed it was retribution, since i was bullying ppl in sec sch naturally got retribution in jc. i realised it is a vicious cycle. hahahha..

8. i hate adapting to new enviro. like mentioned in 7. part of the reason y i hated jc life was bcos really couldn't adapt to it. even when i go overseas i couldn't sleep. cos in a strange bed, even in chalets and well a lot of place.. m an insecure person.

9. i tot i was not my parent's child. hahaha.. u know during sec 3. we had to test blood for ic. tested i was ab+ which is impossible. bcos as we learnt in bio a b+ parent and o+ parent wouldn't give birth to an ab+ hahaha.. i guess the test was wrong. but it kind of bothered me seriously during that time.

10. i have a really bad habit of biting the skin near my nails. well i nv realised how deeply i bit it till i taste blood. gosh. then it is really bloody pain.

11. i really like daydream can daydream anywhere any place. i think my sis kind of get pissed off talking to me at times. cos i m still in my dreamworld, then would jus ignore her.. she would be like oi i talking to u.. then she still told her fren i purposely don't want to talk to her. hahahha.. but it is not la.. by the time i react she is usually already out of the room.. oh ya like yik i will also laugh and smile when i m daydreaming. lp and a few other ppl caught me doin that. gosh.. once in the bus i burst out laughing, ppl must have thought i m nuts..

12. I hate to admit that i can't tell directions. seriously if u ask me orchard i m damn good but other than that i really most likely get lost. but i wouldn't say i m a direction idiot i don't get lose all the time. at least somehow i will always get to my destination.

13. I couldn't understand wat love is.. seriously.. don't understand how some ppl can like some ppl. and well don't understand y some ppl can't forget some ppl even after they get hurt or know it is impossible. if it was me i wouldn't waste my time. sometimes i really feel like slapping these love lorne ppl. i really feel like shaking them and say r u blind?! i don't know.. i suppose i m a very practical person. that's y i don't think i will ever be in love. i will most probably marry cos u know i need to not cos i want to or cos i m in love.

14. at times i don't know if i m practical or romantic. cos seriously when i watch those tv dramas or movie or read books abt romantic things i will get touched and cry easily. but then realistically i don't know la.. i don't seem that kind.

15. c above. i cry v easily. i would only cry in e pillow. would try my best nv to let anyone c me cry. but it is kinda hard at times. i hate being weak i being caught crying!!! that's y i rarely talk abt bad emotions. hahaha..

16. I have a fear of rejection. shucks.. always have been careful since young. would try my best to nv let anyone or anything hurt me. i don't think i m a born "strong" person, but have grown to become a "strong" person.

17. i m really superstitious. as in i really believe in fate. i believe 是福不是祸，是祸躲不过。if it is destined don't try running, cos it will still hit u. jus like final destination. so hai.. don't i want to try escape fr fate i know i couldn't

18. I m really cheapo. hahahha.. like to get the best value for money. i really very auntie at times.

19. I m a glutton. hahaha.. when i c food my eyes light up yum yum.. hahhaha..

20. i would rather die than go sdu or matchmaking! hahahha.. gosh hate it! meihui dad so cute always suggest we go sdu when we complain on the phone abt not having a boyfriend. hahahhaa.. so it reminds me i nv want to go sdu!!!

21. I hate being so trusting. even after someone hurt me emotionally, like betraying me, or backstabbing me. somehow i will forgive and forget abt it. not thoroughly but well. sometimes i m that forgetful that i get hurt over and over again. hai.. guess it is fate. oh ya i hate it when ppl betray my trust.

22. i hate being apathetic about the world. but somehow i think i seem like a apathetic person. gosh...

23. I secretely bit off the ken doll's nose and my sis bear's nose when i was in pri sch. hahahha.. i guess i have a thing for noses...

24. even till today, i would use my sis bear as a form of communication. hahahha.. i would take him in my hand and pretend that i m him and talk to my sis.. hahahha.. cos my sis is rather fierce at times. so if i dare not ask somethings, bear can do it for me. at least when she get angry at wat bear asked (i asked) she would abuse bear by beating him and knocking his head and i would be save. hahahhaha.. bear bear is really dirty and old seriously i m afraid it's head will break one day. it is a forever friend but doen't look like one. oh ya bear's nose is pink cos of the above pt 23. hahaha.. so now u know if u bite a forever friend bear brown nose off it will have a pink nose. oh ya got caught talking in bear voice by sis fren hahahhaha...damn embarrassing

25. oh ya when we were in pri sch, bear was already with us. made frens smell dirty bear. hahaha.. come to think of it bear haven't bathe in 3 yrs. growing piece of bacteria. hahahah.. don't want to bathe him cos really afraid his head fall off.. bear is 10 yr old this year. oh ya don't ask me y don't we buy a new bear. cos the smell of the bear need a lot of years of salivating (i know it is gross hahhaha) to have the smell.. hahahaha..

26. the first time i watch a porn show was last yr at taiwan.. hahhaha... i was so dumb la.. got a shock don't know wat the woman was doing. then kind of wanted to c wat she will do. then my fren scream at me that it is porn. oh my gosh.. i panicked and faster switched chn. wa v scary.. almost watch porn. to think that i almost c wat the woman was goin to do. yucks!!!! hee.. ok ok come to think of it.. i didn't watch any porn. cos i didn't c wat the woman did. i deny watching porn!

27. I have never drank alchoholic drink in my life. even if i did it was only a few sips.

28. hahahha.. fr this post u can c i m a self centered person. hahaha.. in the sense that i like talking abt myself a lot.. gosh i think i m a narcisst (自恋狂) hahaha.. though i won't admit it. ok la.. if i think of more i shall post.

now ppl whom i tag: liling, jeff, ziwei, meihui, joyce, xinyi.

the pot calling the kettle black

some happenings yest. but first me and sl went to buy party accessories for her bday at daiso. we went to imm, supposingly to buy concert tic. but well somehow ending up not buying tic but shopping. quite fun! i can't wait for her bday.

ok ok.. story starts. yest, my sis came hm crying. she is having attachment at some firm (publisher) studying mass comm so well i couldn't really understand.. hahaha.. hmm.. i know my sentences don't make any sense. firstly, she didn't like this company and well have a lot to bitch abt this company. then the next day she was telling me abt being able to go for parties. then yesterday she was crying cos the company was goin to shut down. in jus 3 days, i have seen her emotion change drastically. fr hatred, to not so much hatred, to sorrows. so i seriously couldn't understand wat was happening and wat she was upset abt. well so i asked her.. but u know my sis, not exactly good tempered. hahaha.. so i kind of step on her toes.

she explained that it will affect her grades a lot if the company shut down. then she will have to do some street directory thing. actually her company is not really shutting down. jus downsizing and moving to another building. but well somehow they r leaving the interns at the old place or sth. i already told u it was complicated. so don't ask me to explain. anyway i couldn't understand y she was so upset. helping out with the street directory is fine to me la.. cos a lot of ppl during attachment will do unrelated stuff oso. but she explained that her grades matter a lot in this course and e internership is huge stuff. ok that i understand. actually i m more of a person who take things in stride. so i couldn't understand wat she was panicking abt, when seriously there is nth she can do abt it. somehow was of her sentence was she wouldn't understand e politics r not like ur stupid laura ashley. actually this sentence hurt me a bit. i was like wat the hell. so u think u r so great is it? everyone must be fighting to hire u. here i m trying to help and console u is that wat i get in return. and well miss know it all. u r the greatest i bow to u! (sarcastically)

hahhaha.. after i calmed down i realised a few things. firstly, when someone is angry they say mean things and hurt others unintentionally. but she is angry with them not me, so y must she hurt me. but on account that she is my sis and i suppose it wasn't intentional i shall forget abt it. and i oso kapo la ask her so much when she is already upset. but i m jus concerned abt her ma!

secondly, my sis and i r v diff people. she is v ambitious, cares a lot abt her grades, cares abt losing to others. i guess typical leo. and well i being a typical aquarius, more laid back attitude towards this stuff. and hence i couldn't understand y she was upset. as i a person who will jus let take things in stride.

thirdly, to some ppl it is a small thing to others it might be big. well one man's meat is another man's poison. jus because i couldn't understand y it is a big issue, it doesn't mean it is not. and i should respect her and not judge this incident. now i could understand how she felt when i was crying to her and complaining abt my colleagues. to her it might be a small issue to me it is large.

lastly, and most importantly, when she cries i will be upset too. seriously when i see her sobbing i wanted to cry too. but i don't really know why i felt like crying. hahaha.. i guess it jus pains me to c my little sis so upset, though i don't know wat she is upset abt. i don't think she will read this. but i jus want her to know we will be supporting her and i really love her a lot. hee.. in a way i guess she is a lot like me. we r both not gd at expressing feelings to each other, and we r kind of afraid of ppl's concern. i guess she was afraid of me being concerned abt her hence she was so fierce to me. but jus by being fierce to me u won't make me be less concern abt u. cos u r my sis. i will irritate u until u die. hahahhaha...

updates

haven't undated for awhile. basically cos nth interesting is happening in my life.. hahaha.. i have too much time on my hands. (not really la was supposed to be studying, but well got too much time to think abt too much things) Last mon me and sl went to sing ktv. was practicing for her bday singing competition. hee.. anyway quite fun.. got to sing lots of song..

this few days have been in a bad mood. but well i seriously can't understand y i m in a bad mood. cos i got upset over the slightest things, the bad mood could be triggered by anything meaningless someone said. well. jus don't feel too right. maybe cos this few days locked at hm to study. don't really have a life. at least when i was working, i was interacting with ppl. now i m only interacting with books or at most my tuition kids, which doesn't make good interactions.

Been thinking abt some things. i really don't like socialising with strangers. but throughout ur life, you would have to socialise with strangers. ur first day of sch in pri sch, sec sch, jc.. will in the uni for me u can jus don't make any frens if u don't want to. and then at work... during those period of time u might have gotten close to many ppl, but how many of them r truly sincere to u. was counting how many colleagues were supposingly closed to me when we were working and how many r still close to me. well all i can say is very few. hahah.. and furthermore now that we r not working or schooling tgth we don't have much to talk abt. Don't ur think that this process is really meaningless?!

Some ppl get tgth to have fun tgth. well i suppose i like having fun with this ppl. but i really wonder if they r ppl whom i can go thru thick and thin with. well they come rescue me if i have a problem. some ppl like making this kind of frens. frens to go out with to play with. but seriously wat's the pt. i don't want to befriend insincere ppl, who r only with me for a motive. i think i m a loyal fren. i will go all the way out to help my fren. but that is provided they r loyal to me too. i m not goin to help someone who only uses me cos i m easy to manipulate. no way! been realising how some ppl r so self centered. always expecting others to give, but wouldn't give anything back in return.

Another issue. some ppl well we jus can't c eye to eye to. some ppl who r really different fr u. some ppl whom will make ur blood boil everytime u c them. so wat is wrong with disliking someone. seriously u can't make everyone like u. i wouldn't say hate. cos hate is a strong word, and well unless he or she is ur 杀父仇人 ( sha fu chou ren, someone who killed ur father) u shouldn't hate anybody. disliking someone i think means, everytime u c him or her u get irritated by his actions. he or she might not have done anything, but well. u jus get irritated nonetheless even to the point where u get disgusted by that person.

how u react to the person u dislike is another issue. most of us i guess would most likely talk bad abt the person behind his back. hahaha.. and well show that we r irritated in front of that person or maybe jus keep silent unless that person do sth to make u want to slap him/her. well talking bad abt someone in this case wouldn't exactly b backstabing. backstabing is wat u do to ur fren not wat u do to ppl u dislike.

somehow i have and will try to be very rational. i wouldn't dislike someone w/o a reason, or try not dislike someone w/o a reason. but sometimes really when that person is around naturally ur blood starts to boil (火上来）oso don't know y. no matter how much u try to control urself u couldn't help it. so sometimes, i don't think u can blame anyone for disliking someone. it is not a choice we choose. they jus naturally pissed u off.. will wat i have jus said is to defend my fren. so stop seeing her as an evil person for disliking someone. at least she is honest with her feelings. unlike some hypocrite.

Oscar Wilde

He is one of my fav classsical writers of all times.. there is always an irony to his stories... though he mostly write children books his stories r great. and he give great quotes too...

"he has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends"

"Some cause happiness wherever they go, others, whenever they go"

got this fr the newpaper. i really like his stories, the happy prince and the nightingle and the rose. really good stories. he shows how inhuman human beings can be at times... ok that's all for now

weird dreams

last last nite i had a really bad dream v scary. the first one was i was dying from a terminal disease. the second dream was even weirder. i dreamt i saw someone kill or xian hai someone else.. then e killer saw me. wants to kill me to silence me.. hahahha..

jus want to record this. in case this dream comes true, ur will know how i died.. hahahha... kidding la.. but really scary. shall record all my dreams. cos my dreams have a tendency in becoming real.. hee...

damn emotional lately

actually i m damn upset lately. but i don't really know how to explain... so better off not explaining.. anyway wat the fortune teller say is so true!i will be in kou jiao jiu fen... shit la shit la.. sld have kept my stupid mouth shut. but how come ppl oso open their mouth no trouble but once i open all the trouble..

i hate it when some ppl twist the facts or exaggerate things.. ok i have to admit i like listening to exaggerating things.. but well.. i definately wouldn't go exaggerate things. i jus report the fact. cos actually my memory oso not very good la... so i can't remember the funny things ppl say jus rmb the actual thing. anyway can't understand how some ppl twist their words and put everyone else in it, when they r oso partly to be blamed. shit la... y m oso with ppl like that.. damn then i get blamed. then reputation v bad.. hahaha.. ok i have always been kapo.. but well not as if they r not. i gossip i don't bitch ok. even if i do bitch it is because ppl r already bitching i jus join in. hahhaha.. so don't assume i bitch.

actually who is in the fault doesn't matter already. because no matter wat others say i will somehow be involve in it. even if i didn't say it.. honestly i m a rather frank person. or so i think.. if i want to tell u something i will tell u to ur face. i wouldn't spread it. freaking pissed off... damn really want to confront some ppl. the more i think of it e more angry i get. don't twist my words k?! if u want to say it jus say it don't use my name ok. and don't try to tao套 my hua话 so that u can go tell ppl. cos seriously my hua话 hen很 hao好 tao套. so don't try to make use of me lor.. cos that is despicable.. and don't assume we r gossiping ok.. we talk abt other things too ok.. i know how to do other talking not only gossiping ok?!

on a lighter note... last sat me and elin went to shop for yik prez. hee.. then well it was quite fun, though i can't really remember wat we did... we bought a bag we like a lot... hahaha.. really feel like stealing to use it..

ok tonight we had fun.. haven't seen xw for so long! so happy to c her.. still the same funny person.. yea yea... hee.. so fun and entertaining. well jus updating abt our lifes.. talking abt stuff.. suaning each other.. so funny la... jus like the old days.. hard to describe that feeling la.. jus really enjoy their companionship.. can talk to them abt anything under the sun..

when hq came to cartel to join us for dinner. suaning each other again. took knife and wanted to fight with him hahahaha.. want to tell hq that well the suaning is harmless la.. didn't mean anything.. don't be angry if i went overboard k.. but well .. ai ya i oso don't know wat to say.. oh ya we waited v long for the dessert.. abt 30min.. damn inefficient la.. actually i seems to have a lot to say but can't rmb.. hahaha.. when i rmb then say