That day on xy and joyce bday we went to essential brews.. e food and drinks were great as always... but somehow w/o mh around sth was missing.. hee when she call it was so funny... we all tok to her like she was around... actually kind of ignore her cos our food was there.. but mh thanks for calling... thanks for caring for the bday girl. your call make me feel touched though it is not my bday. hee... cos u make me feel that e world is not that bad afterall.

Feel so sorry towards my tuition kid cos he can't make it for tuition today but his psle is approaching he kept trying to find a time to get me.. but i m constantly not free, cos working at laura. shit la... laura really sux! got backstab... u know my colleague told me working here i must learn to be more selfish. cos seriously no1 appreciates help around here. i guess it is true... there isn't any care and warmth here. everyone jus try to get out of trouble by getting someone else into trouble. they don't care if e things is e truth or not... they jus join in e crowd to pull a person down. I regretted helping these ppl so much. they don't deserve any of this, they deserve to rot in hell. This world is such a horrible place. there isn't any warmth around. to progress u have to kill ur counterparts, and seriously some ppl don't even feel guilty doin it... don't ur have any conscience? are ur still human? or have ur somehow lost ur heart. i hate this world. ppl jus keep trying to get things out of me, but doesn't do anything appreciative in return. This world sux!

To succeed in this world u have to learn to be unaffected by rumours, unaffected by ppl hurting ur feelings. to succeed u have to learn not to have a conscience a conscience wouldn't do u any good in this world, cos to protect urself u have to hurt others in e process, u either choose urself or choose others, but in this world every1 is selfish. i don't think i will ever succeed in this world. i will nv learn how to be indifferent to wat others do to hurt others. i can nv not help some1, when that person is in trouble. i can't turn my back on this ppl. hai.. jus let me die. i will jus suffer fr more heartbreaks if i continue living in this world

oh ya i passed my piano exam! yea! and i won a hair straightener.. hee.. my hair is rather straight already...

Really hate working with some individuals at laura ashley! they really sux! Fucking bastard and bitch!

Shall update abt bastard and bitch. one fine day, there was this customer who walked into e shop. they were my customer b4 but i couldn't remember them at that moment. so they were like hi amanda. i was like oh shit, how e hell did they know my name. for a moment i tot they were rory's unreasonable customer jane marsh! but i was kind of wondering how jane marsh know my name. so i asked them how i could help them. they told me that they were here to order a $2600 bed. Hurray! i was so happy! at that moment my manager heard e customer call my name so she knows it is my customer. Anyway that bitch clara was working on that day. after that she was congratualating me on my big sales, i suppose her eyes almost pop out when i make that sales! haha...

A few wks later i heard fr elaine our designer. she said that e bed customer was actually clara's! gosh i was freaking shocked! She said clara told her. Then i was arguing with elaine, but they were my customers e first time i served them they bought a rug! Then elaine was like but they didn't ask u abt e bed did they. to be frank i didn't remember, i supposed i did serve them abt e bed or else i wouldn't have gave them my namecard. i don't take bed customer seriously b4 that cos it is like a bed is freaking expensive. i don't understand how any1 could spend so much money on it. Anyway i asked elaine, how did she know it was e same customer jus bcos they r ang mo, since elaine was not working on that day she couldn't tell me she recognise e customer. and secondly, y did e customer call me by name and recognise me instead of that bitch?! so elaine explained to clara. i tot things were over until last wk when i heard my colleague told me that she have been bitching abt e bed again. my colleague were angry so they checked clara's notebk where she is suppose to keep her customer stufff... will apparantly clara got e wrong customer wat a bitch!!!

Bitch no 2 e shop's assistant manager. She is an ite student completely incapable, always insecure and suspicious of ppl, easily swayed by wat she hears, scheming and evil. I m not trying to say ite students r like that in general they r not. wat i m trying to say is that she is not v intelligent not taht all ite students r stupid but well... she is not highly educationally qualified. she likes to act smart. and honestly she doesn't practice wat she preach, completely an incompetant manager! actually it seems that she is jus a figurehead, a useless good for nothing! let's jus say that day i was serving a big customer as always she cut my sales again. but she pretended she was helping me. anyway when we open e sales cht she only wrote my promoter's number, when she keyed into e computer she only key my number. will surprise surprise. today i had to go back to that day's sales to look for my customer's info will i was shocked to c her number added with mine wat the fuck! bitch! i won't mind sharing sales with u if you had e curteosy to ask!!! how could u be so rude and so freaking backstabbing! jus bcos u think i don't know? or is it cos u think it won't matter to me since i m like already e highest! well i m not angry with e sharing part! i m angry with e u didn't ask part! And wat the hell i m capable of serving this customer by myself i don't need ur help. u really like to butt into ppl's sales and act all great, like telling ppl c this is e way to do sales! if u r so great, u wouldn't go around snatching/cutting into ppl's customer! useless bitch! go to hell la! fuck you!

gosh really want to resign soon! but my layaway is only coming in in nov, only then i can get back my 2600 bed! hai...and my uniform is only nicest now! hai...

Feel kind of depressed these few days... hai... maybe it is due to watching gong withdrawal symptoms. i m abt to finish it already... maybe it is cos i got my exams results. i failed stats... i didn't expect to fail that. though i m happy i didn't fail poa... but i m rather upset i failed stats!

When i was watching gong last episode last nite, i started crying. partly cos it was rather touching, and oso partly cos i suddenly felt overwealm with a feeling of lonliness, emptiness....the leads strive so hard for a happy ending, and well they got it, but in life how often does these happy ending occur? No matter how hard i try, i can't seem to get e happy ending that i want.... so wat if i fail an exam so wat if i pass... no matter wat my life will not become easier jus cos i pass or fail. jus cos u get e top degree does not mean u will do well at work, cos work oso depend a lot on luck. luck to wat kind of people u meet, nice manager, nice colleague. no1 can control this, this is fate. u can control wat u do, u can put on a front, but u can't control wat these ppl think of u, how much they will like u... so wat if i get a gd degree, wat if i do not... how i adapt later is more impt isn't it? so wat m i working for?

no matter how much i wish i m dead i m still alive... i m living my life day by day without any emotion, jus used to this rountine life. feel so empty! i don't know wat i m living for.. no matter how big e problem is i have to deal with it with a smile on my face, when inside i m crying like crazy. when i m telling everyone it is ok, but it is not ok. i always tot i m living cos i m waiting for sth happy/good to happen but after watching fairytale like drama. i know how realistic life is... i will not get that fairytale. Y do people live for so long? to procreate? I look at my mom who live her life their nw, is her life happy? i doubt so! but did she manage to live for so long? i really wonder. no matter how unhappy u r life goes on... e world will not stop spinning jus because u lose someone u really love, jus because u r sad.....

At e moment i hate life! cos i have to carry on working harder, i have to jia you no matter wat e results i get, no matter how meaningless e results r... i have to work harder for it..